Because I couldn't find a picture of Herb Alpert taking a photo, here's Herbie the car. He's going bananas for today countdown of songs with herbs in them...
(Oh, and in case you were wondering about Marlene yesterday, the surname "Dill" is apparently "from a pet form of the personal name Dietrich", according to the people who know about such things.)
10. Makes a lot of parkin.
Parkin is a ginger cake. Some debate on the interweb about whether ginger is a herb or a root veg. That doesn't matter though, because we're not here for the ginger, we're here for the basil...
In a desperate effort to move this blog away from wall-to-wall misery, self-pity and middle-aged grumpiness, here's a new feature in which I pay tribute to celebrities who have been immortalised in song.
I don't know why I chose to start with Robert Mitchum, other than I wanted the list to be random and he was the first person who popped into my mind. When I was younger, and a huge Humphrey Bogart fan, I never liked Robert Mitchum. I found him rather wooden compared to Bogie: given they both played Philip Marlowe, it was hard not to line them up together.
In later years though, I grew to appreciate Mitchum's performances more, and I could see why he was considered a very cool dude. In modern times, I felt the same way about Keanu Reeves at first, thinking him a one-note actor (that note being Ted "Theodore" Logan), but over time I developed a lot more respect for him. Like Mitchum, he has real screen presence. And that indefinable cool.
Julian Cope was the first person to immortalise Robert Mitchum in song...
The part in Ryan's Daughter when you lose your wife
I've never seen a more dignified man in my life
But when you start looking for Bob Mitchum songs though, you'll be amazed how popular he is...
Before we get onto this week's winning tune, it's worth remembering that Mr. Mitchum had a short-lived musical career of his own... and I'm guessing a certain Mr. B. Springsteen might be aware of it...
Now I can't guarantee that every week I'll find quite so many songs about one celebrity... I'm sure there are plenty with only one to their name. But when I first thought about starting with Robert Mitchum, this was the song I knew I'd finish with. Because it's almost as cool as he was...
Here's the last of my three science lessons... for the time being. I may get the test tubes out again at a later date. If I still have any readers after this one...
Taken from his 1976 debut album, which was before he started using his real name after the Cougar (and long before he dropped the Cougar altogether). I like the way he sings bi-ol-ogeee on this one.
Contains the line: "emasculate me with your biology"... but that's not the only reason you should listen to it. The rest of the lyrics are pretty brilliant too.
It stands for Other People's Minds, apparently. I loved this back in the year of 2000AD. Which is odd, because I never set foot on a skateboard. (Oh, she skips biology to do that. In case you were wondering.)
So when Joe gets caught out for cheating on his girlfriend "with some whore out in Germany", he blames it all on biology. He goes on to give her a very detailed lesson in Biology...
Her reply is classic:
She said, "thanks I'm so relieved What you're saying I can well believe Now I know, I feel no shame About Dave and Tony and Phil and James," I said, "Baby baby this can't be true!" She said, "well what's right for you Has to be Right for me In any case I'm sure you'll see It's nothing to do with our hearts It's nothing to do with our heads It's nothing to do with our homes It's nothing to do with our beds It's just be-I-O-L-O-G-why..."
History, Biology, French... Sam doesn't know much about any of them, and he certainly doesn't claim to be an A student. (Don't even start me on that, Sam, as someone teaching the new GCSE this year... there are no more As: just grades 1-9, which nobody - and I mean NOBODY - understands. Thank you, Michael Gove.)
Still, Sam does know how to make it a Wonderful World. Just play this tune...
Yes, Billy Bragg, at Number 2, again. Last week he shared his qualifications, this week he regrets never taking Biology. I didn't take Biology either, Billy. I hated the teacher. (Or she hated me.) I dropped it after the Third Year...
I wish I'd done Biology For an urge within me wanted to do it then...
Also contains the following gem from brother Barry...
My wife has three great attributes: Intelligence A Swiss Army Knife And charm...
1. The Bloodhound - The Bad Touch
The first track I thought of when I started planning this Top Ten. Makes Girls Aloud sound like Shostakovich.
At heart, approximately 75% of pop songs convey this same message... usually with a little more finesse.
