I go to work three days a week and sit (for the majority of my time) in an empty classroom. I speak to disembodied boxes, most of whom don't turn their microphones or their cameras on and will only communicate with me via chat messages. Occasionally I go to greet a small group of students who are actually allowed into the building. I tell them to put their masks on, sanitise their hands, then follow me through the one way system.
A couple of weeks back, the number in the group hit 8 and I had to find a bigger classroom to allow for 2 metres social distancing. I can take my mask off in the room as long as I don't cross the line taped to the floor in front of the teacher's desk. If a student has a query that involves me looking at the screen they're working on (no books, I can't take in books, mark books, touch books), the mask goes back on and I stand closer, still 2 metres away though, and try to peer across at their screen.
On Wednesday morning I arrived in a classroom on the north side of the building and decided I needed a coffee. To get that coffee, and get back to the classroom, I had to walk round the whole building, clockwise, four times.
On Thursday and Friday I still work from home. But that's worse, because there's no wall between work and home at all then. They bleed into each other.
Friday night arrives and I sit down exhausted in front of the TV to eat my fish fingers and Louise usually remarks how quickly it's come round again. I breathe a sigh of relief and sleep well. By Saturday afternoon, I'm dreading work again.
A picture of Eddie Cochran obviously, said Charity Chic in response to my request for songs with the name Edward, Eddie or Ed in them. And as he wrote obviously rather than "obvs", I went with his suggestion.
Of course, there were many other famous musical Edwards I could have gone with, including the recently departed Eddie Van Halen, Ed Tudor-Pole, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes (from George), Edward Ball, Eddie & The Hotrods, Eddie Vedder, Eddie Floyd, Eddie Boyd, Eddie Jones, Charles & Eddie (from Alyson), Eddie Rabbit, Eddie Kirk, Eddie Fisher, Eddie Holland, Eddie Money (see this week's Saturday Snapshots), Eddie Kendricks... the list goes on and on. But did any of them ever record a song as iconic as this...?
Whereas Swiss Adam directs us to Edward Barton, the poet responsible for this little ditty, originally recorded by his girlfriend Jane (long before Opus 3 got their mucky dance paws all over it)...
Anyway, that's not why we're here. We're here to celebrates songs about Edwards (or at least songs that mention them). So let's get cracking, because there's loads to go at...
And continuing on a pretty-boy rock star vibe, RD added...
Iron Maiden's omnipresent/ever changing mascot is called Eddie. He has given his name to a Maiden-based video game and a compilation album (both titled Ed Hunter)...
Coincidentally, my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, recommended this (from the album Ed Hunter) as his favourite Maiden track this week.
...which... well, I hope you'll excuse me if I steal an explanation from elsewhere on t'internet...
This song tells the story of the beginnings of British heavy metal band Iron Maiden, personified as a gay love triangle between original lead singer Paul Di'Anno, Eddie (“Eddie the Head,” the band’s mascot who appears on their album covers, and in this song represents the band as a whole), and Bruce Dickinson, the band’s second singer who replaced Paul in 1981.
Fat Mike explains:
I was just thinking that some of their songs are so good and they were just so cool when they had Paul Di’Anno in the band. Then they got Bruce Dickinson, this falsetto fuck, and for me, it just ruined everything.
Charming. Poor old Bruce D.
Anyway, while we're here with my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben... well, he obviously had some spare time on his hands this week. His short-list was almost longer than mine...
Have to live up to this idea you have of me as a hipster!
Is that what hipsters listen to then? My current (not for much longer!) next door neighbour is a hipster and he blasts out Snow Patrol. I'm not convinced hipsters have set musical affiliations. I may be wrong.
Anyway, I have no idea what Death Grips are on about, but there were quite a few Eddies in there. Including the great Ed 'Lou Grant' Asner. God knows why.
Now this is why I keep Ben around. Because in the middle of all his hipster suggestions, he'll throw in a b-side by The Small Faces or an early John Cougar song, a track even the internet can't quite decipher the lyrics to, although most sites tend to agree that are a couple of Eddie references in there.
Ah, but wait, the mention of Edward Scissorhands allows us to zip over to Canada, where Douglas has a related suggestion...
Just one to put forward for your consideration, to prevent the lost from getting out of hand: the always delightful Lucksmiths with the song "Edward, Sandwich Hand". Delightful wordplay and a whistling riff to hook you into the chorus.
Jeff Rosenstock is someone who Ben introduced me to a while back. He produces some very cool tunes (if occasionally a little too loud for these aged ears) and has a strange attitude to the music industry in that he seems not too interested in making any money out of it. For example, you can get his latest collection of songs from Bandcamp... but he doesn't want your money.
Please do not feel obliged to spend money on this music. I do not intend for it to be monetized. Any money that comes in through Bandcamp for these songs will be donated to charitable causes, but less money will get taken out if you just do that directly on your own - which I encourage you to do if you can afford it. And if not, it's cool.
Anyway, there's another Edwards Scissorhands reference in the track above, if you can dig it out.
Which brings us, finally, to Walter, who also appeared to have a bit of spare time on his hands this week...
His blue Morris van is parked in an alley Just by Montague street His friend Eddie he did the respray So he couldn't drive it all last week And it cost most of the money That he had saved up To pay Eddie's receipt But he figures it's worth it Cause the disguise is a must When they go missing They're gonna look for the van first She whispers slowly "it'll be alright" I took some cash from my building society And my monthly check came in just right If only they knew they weren't giving it away
That came very close to making the ten, Walter. As did this...
Edward, see those alluring lights ? Tonight will be your very last night
Don't worry though, some of your other suggestions really hit home. But no, Ed fROMOHIO, singer and guitarist of fIREHOSE doesn't get a mention, if only because of his abuse of the CAPS LOCK key.
OK, time to scrap the barnacles off the side of the boat. Here's the rest of the long-list from my hard-drive this week...
But now Eddie the Eunuch is a rock and roll critic Sucking like a super star Slicker than a shoe-shine Quicker than a two-time Eddie what a thang you are Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby Putting other people down
Ah yes, songs hitting back at music critics... there's got to be a Top Ten in that somewhere.
Featuring Eddie Argos from Art Brut and David Devant (minus His Spirit Wife). Only available on MySpace, it seems. (I know, I didn't even know MySpace was still a thing either.)
Oh and there's 'Eddie & Sheena' by Wayne County & The Electric Chairs, says C, one of the first bands I ever saw down at our little local club when I was 14 (Wayne was quite something to behold, especially in 1978) and they gave everyone a free Eddie & Sheena badge at the door - soon to be defiantly pinned to my school blazer of course!
I'm always too late here nowadays, says Alyson, so will get in quick with a name-check. Brenda and Eddie - Scenes From An Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel.
A seemingly throwaway suggestion, though in the process Alyson has stuck a pin in one of my all-time favourite Billy Joel songs. (I feel my love of Billy Joel has recently been vindicated by Hughie in The Boys. If you know, you know.)
You have to wait for the tempo change, but Brenda and Eddie play an important role in this song...
I'll obv(iou)s(ly) go for Sleeper - Nice Guy Eddie, said Martin (courting disaster with his barely hidden attempt at evoking the yoof-speak I banned last week), and not just because I'd listen to Louise sing the phone book ;)
Nice Guy Eddie, of course, turned out to be not such a nice guy after all...
Most weeks this would have been Number One, as I share a similar devotion to the divine Ms. Wener as Martin. However...
This week's winner is going to be one of those where I'm biased and play to my favourites, but thankfully Walter was with me...
1. Bruce Springsteen - Meeting Across The River
Amid all the rock 'n' roll bombast of the greatest album of the 70s comes this quiet slice of desperate lowlife storytelling set over a haunting, noirish solo from jazz trumpeter Randy Brecker. And Roy Bittan's characteristic piano playing and another jazz musician, Richard Davis, on double bass.
It doesn't sound like anything else on the album (although lyrically, it follows similar themes), but it's perfectly placed as an intimate pause for breath as the penultimate track on side two before the epic finale of Jungleland.
Hey, Eddie, can you lend me a few bucks
And tonight can you get us a ride?
Gotta make it through the tunnel
Got a meeting with a man on the other side
Hey Eddie, this guy, he's the real thing
So if you want to come along
You gotta promise you won't say anything
'Cause this guy don't dance
And the word's been passed this is our last chance
We gotta stay cool tonight, Eddie
'Cause man, we got ourselves out on that line
And if we blow this one
They ain't gonna be looking for just me this time
And all we gotta do is hold up our end
Here stuff this in your pocket
It'll look like you're carrying a friend
And remember, just don't smile
Change your shirt, 'cause tonight we got style
Well, Cherry says she's gonna walk
'Cause she found out I took her radio and hocked it
But Eddie, man, she don't understand
That two grand's practically sitting here in my pocket
And tonight's gonna be everything that I said
And when I walk through that door
I'm just gonna throw that money on the bed
She'll see this time I wasn't just talking
Then I'm gonna go out walking
Hey Eddie, can you catch us a ride ?
The obvious E for a girl's name would have been Emily, but it turns out I already did that here...
No, I couldn't find any pictures of Joe Biden holding a camera. Neither do I expect Joe Biden to be a truly great president. But at least he once worked with one (even if Obama didn't achieve everything he set out to do, he remained a decent figurehead throughout).
The main thing Biden has in his favour is that he's Not Trump. In the same way I voted for Corbyn purely because was not Not Boris. Frankly, the Democrats could have put Tom Hanks & Michael Bolton on the ticket and I'd have voted for them instead of Trump. Just as Labour could field James Corden with Bono as deputy and I'd be putting my X in their box, no matter how detestable I find them both.
I'll leave the final word today to Sam, aged 7, yet already an expert political analyst.
"I think Donald Trump is going to break all the ornaments in The White House so that when Joe Biden moves in, he's not got anything nice."
As I write this post, it remains unclear whether he'll be gone or not. Seriously, what does a president have to do to be voted out of office?
As you read it, I'm hoping you'll be celebrating his departure over a champagne breakfast. Although let's face it, he won't be gone for a long time yet... and who knows what further damage he'll do on the way out?
Sigh. Here are this week's Snapshots.
10. Half a piano... just like Andrew Gold.
9. Wishing the week whisked away.
8. Early morning enclosure, thrice refused.
7. Expensive Eagle wants a lift this evening.
6. Chubbier Scot makes a right turn... will you be mine?
5. Dark dancer mixed with problematic nun (plus alias)... what Blanche depended on.
4. Eastwood & Elphick prefer milk in their coffee, nothing else.
