Wednesday, 30 May 2018

2018 Contenders - Don't Go Trying To Organise My Batwalks

Always good for bringing a flicker of light into this dark, dark world... a new album by Half Man Half Biscuit. That's the album cover above, with the album title scrawled on somebody's shed door. I'm guessing this is an actual piece of angry-neighbour graffiti that Nigel Blackwell saw, photographed and decided to use as a perfect encapsulation of HMHB post-millennial misanthropic angst... or maybe it's something he himself wrote on his neighbour's outhouse because the arsehole just wouldn't trim his hedge.

The great thing about Half Man Half Biscuit is that they could easily fit into just about any series I have going on this blog. Mid-Life Crisis? Absolutely. Talky Songs? Some of their best. (The one below is half-talky, half-punky.) Grumpy Old Men? Mr. Blackwell has been peddling his own unique brand of grumpiness for 34 years now... he's an elder statesman of alt-folk-punk or however you might choose to categorise HMHB. Anyway, chances are they'll turn up in all the above-mentioned series sooner rather than later, but in the meantime here's my favourite song from the new album on  first listen. I had to play it three times in a row in the car, and I laughed more each time I heard it (click the title to listen).

Notice was given of a bat walk in Royden Park, Frankby, on Friday evening. Ranger-led, the event was free, although booking was essential. Warm waterproof clothing was recommended, and perhaps a flask. Meet at the café car park at 7pm for a 7.30 start. Strictly no dogs.

My response to that was this:

“Who the fuck are you, trying to govern everybody’s bat walks?
Who the fuck are you, trying to be the big I Am?
Well, I know this place like the back of my hand
In a way you’ll never understand
So don’t go trying to organise my bat walks
I’ll be going on any-time-I-like walks
Tuesday, 2am. Bollocko.”


  1. I'm still finding my way into this album. New HMHB is a joy to behold.

    1. There's something reassuring about them still going strong while the rest of the world falls apart around our ears.

  2. I once got to shake Nigel's hand. :)

  3. I think that door could be that of an outside toilet, not a shed...

  4. To answer your questions - a) of course I have! and b) I see what you're trying to do there. Very droll.


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