Snapshots #302: A Top Ten Dollar Price Songs

I've been dying to feature The Six Million Dollar Man on TV On The Radio, but I haven't been able to find any decent tunes that mention him. (A lot of tunes do, just no decent ones. Unless you know different...?) 

Anyway, here's the man with the Bionic Eye, which the interweb tells me "has a 20:1 zoom lens and infrared capabilities", so there must be a camera in there too, right? And here are ten songs which also proclaim their value in dollars...

10. Stuck in your bottom, and in Iowa itself. 

Stuck in your bottom, and in Iowa itself. 

Tom Waits - $29.00

9. The Prodigy, in a patriarchy. 

Prodigies are young geniuses (google it - it's not genii). In a patriarchy though, they would only recognise the smart boys. Although the lads don't even know how to use capital letters, so what hope is there?

boygenius -$20

This one was specially for CC.

8. Discotheque that only plays A Horse With No Name.

That would be a Club that only plays Music by America.

American Music Club - $1,000,000 Song

7. Goes with Vera and Betty.

Aloe Vera and Black Betty...

Aloe Blacc - I Need A Dollar

6. Slain rain.

One of Jack White's many diversions...

The Dead Weather - Three Dollar Hat

5. Pig home, inventory, spasms.

Sty + list + tics...

Stylistics - $7000 & You

4. Where a Flashy actor goes to buy sable. 

I've not been a big fan of recent movies based on DC Comics, but I thought The Flash was OK... despite being a box office bomb. It was good to see Michael Keaton back in the Batsuit, and the Nicolas Cage cameo was worth the ticket price alone. Controversial star Ezra Miller was rather irksome though... I doubt they'll be back.

If Ezra wanted to buy some sable though, they'd probably go to the fur man.

Ezra Furman - Maraschino Red Dress $8.99 at Goodwill

3. Throw him on a bonfire with Joni.

Guys are made to be thrown on the bonfire. Never do that to Joni Mitchell.

Guy Mitchell - A Dime And A Dollar

2. Mrs. Paragons gets in a kerfuffle with Raoul Shimmery.

Two anagrams, un-kerfuffled...

Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris - $1000 Wedding

A grand probably wouldn't even pay for the dress these days.

1. Tommy, in chains.

It never ceases to amaze me that we're now healthily into the 300s, and I'm still discovering big name artists who have never appeared in Snapshots before. Even more incredible is when it's artists I actually like. 

Above is a young Vincent Furnier, and his puppy, before he adopted his more distinctive stage persona...

Tommy Cooper + Alice In Chains =

Alice Cooper - Billion Dollar Babies

I bet you a dollar you come back for more next Saturday...

My Top Ten Walkman Songs

The humble Walkman. How it revolutionised our world. Kids today don't know how lucky they have it when they can stream or download any song they want to hear immediately to their phone, tablet or domestic pet. This device let us take our music with us wherever we wanted... and made it even easier to ignore conversations on the bus than ever before.

Ten songs then that pay tribute to the Walkman... with special mention, of course, to The Walkmen.

10. Frank Black - I Heard Ramona Sing

It's not the Pixies, but it's unmistakably Frank Black...

I had so many problems

And then I got me a walkman

I really liked it a lot, and

They walked right in and they solved them

They walked right in and they solved them

9. American Music Club - Chanel No. 5

Walkmans, Chanel #5... Mark Eitzel has extremely sensory memories of the 80s.

She's got her Walkman on

She's got Chanel Number Five

Look at her walk

She's holding her head upright

Wants to show she's got some pride

To the headlights

8. Iggy Pop - Run Like A Villain

Utter nonsense, but Iggy makes utter nonsense addictive. From the album Zombie Birdhouse. What else do you need to know?

Tracy got an afghan, pedigreed,

Prescription shades and designer jeans

A Sony Walkman on her head

All she wants is to be fed

7. Veruca Salt - With David Bowie

Many a teenage infatuation began this way...

My heart skips around 

when I hear the sound.

I'm never alone cause 

you're following me home.

I'm falling in love, 

my walkman and me, 

with David Bowie.

6. Pavement - Range Life

Stephen Malkmus grew up with a skateboard and a walkman... just like Marty McFly and most other kids from 80s Americana.

Out on my skateboard

The night is just hummin'

And the gum smacks are the pulse

I'll follow if my walkman fades

But I've got absolutely no one,

No one but myself to blame

5. Robyn Hitchcock - Statue With A Walkman On

The only song I could find with Walkman in the title, but it's a belter.

4. Dr. Dre & Eminem - Forgot About Dre

My misspent twenties. Not my usual bag, I'm sure you'll admit, but this was back when all Eminem had to do was open his mouth and I bought it. And as Eminem never actually shut his mouth, I bought a lot...

One day I was walking by

With a Walkman on

When I caught a guy

Give me an awkward eye

And I strangled him up in the parking lot

With his Karl Kani

Plus, Dr. Dre is cool, whichever way you cut it. Even if you're an uncool kid like me you can see that.

3. Jenny Lewis - Late Bloomer

Fantastic storytelling. Like a novel in a song! Gotta love Jenny Lewis...

Nancy came from Boston, she got in trouble very often

Cause her parents had forgotten her, she escaped over the pond

She was searching for the writer of a song that made her shiver

She listened over and over on her Walkman cassette

And she said "Come with me late bloomer, for a little while

I wanna see that fire burning, in you little child."

2. Ben Folds - Late

Ben's tribute to his old friend Elliot Smith starts thus...

Under some dirty words on a dirty wall

Eating takeout by myself

I play the shows

Got back in the van and put the Walkman on

And you were playing

And the rest of the song's a heartbreaker.

Elliott, man, you played a fine guitar

And some dirty basketball

The songs you wrote

Got me through a lot

Just wanna tell you that

But it's too late

1. The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again

Apparently, Joan of Arc had both a hearing aid and a walkman...

What's side 1 track 1 on your Best Walkman Songs cassette?

My Top Ten Home Songs

To celebrate our new home - ten songs with the title 'Home'... and nothing else.


10. Blake Shelton - Home

Originally recorded by Michael Bublé, but I prefer Shelton's country take.

Also recorded by Westlife, but I've managed to survive this far without ever hearing their version.

9. Lene Lovich - Home

Not for the faint of heart.

8. Depeche Mode - Home

A song from the wrong side of town.

7. Villagers - Home

There's a scary story involving a saint and a snake going on in this track from Villagers' debut album... I'm not sure I know what it's all about, but I do know that Conor O'Brien looks about 12 in the video. It's not policemen who are looking younger as I get older: it's pop stars.

6. Sheryl Crow - Home

Sheryl can belt it out with the best of them, but on a subdued song like this one, she really shows she can sing.

5. Public Image Ltd. - Home

I've never been able to take John Lydon seriously. If I did, I'm not sure I'd like him.

4. American Music Club - Home

I'm afraid of my own shadow because it's what I've become
Why do I waste my time with people who'll never love anyone?

3. Billy Bragg - Home

Can't find this on youtube, but Billy's having a big row with them at the moment over artists' royalties, so perhaps they're limiting his exposure. It's a pretty rare track though, from his internet only release 'Pressure Drop' that followed some of the major themes in his book The Progressive Patriot...

I walked down from the station 'cause I wanted to see,
The kind of things that you might miss from the back of a taxi,
There's just no way to tell you what these things mean to me
This is home.

The place I threw my guts up outside the old wine bar,
The junk shop on the corner where I bought my first guitar,
The grass verge by the pig flats where we sat and revved our cars,
This is home.

2. Iggy Pop - Home

Imagine if everybody in the world was as cool as Iggy Pop...

1. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home

An irresistibly catchy whistling refrain (often used as backing music on TV programmes) grabbed my attention... but it's the cutesy, conversational boy-girl vocals from Jade and Alexander that kept me coming back.

Jade?
Alexander?
Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
I sure do ‒ you came jumping right out after me.
Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke you ass, you were bleeding all over the place, I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Yes, I do.
Well there's something I never told you about that night...
What didn't you tell me?
Well, while you were sitting in the back seat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deep in love with you, and I never told you till just now!




There were a bunch of other interesting Home songs in my library - including goodies from The Lilac Time and Hefner - but I couldn't find any of them online. Bloody useless internet.

Anyway... which one would you come home to?

My Top Ten San Francisco Songs

It's a while since I took a stop on my American music tour... so let's take a drive across the Golden Gate Bridge...


10. Train - Save Me, San Francisco

The bloke from Train looks like a Hollywood version of David Gedge. Doesn't sound quite as good...but there are far worse ways to spend 4 minutes of your life.

9. The Flower Pot Men - Let's Go To San Francisco

This is spookier than I remember it. I'm getting acid flashbacks from the video, and I never did acid in my life. 

8. Scott McKenzie - San Francisco

If you're going, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.

7. Rufus Wainwright - San Francisco

Rufus does Judy Garland. Classic.

6. The Lucksmiths - The Chapter in Your Life Entitled San Francisco

Probably my favourite song by The Lucksmiths. If you've never heard them before and you're wondering what they sound like, the fact that they also have a song called There Is A Boy That Never Goes Out might give you a clue to their influences...

5. Tony Bennett - I Left My Heart in San Francisco

There appear to be numerous comedy routines which lead exhaustively to the punchline, "I left me harp in Sam Clam's Disco". I advise you to ignore them all.

4. American Music Club - All The Lost Souls Welcome You To San Francisco

Being that they hail from the city by the bay, it's no wonder that Mark Eitzel and co. have written a few songs about it (they even named an album after it).

A city built by fire trucks!
Dirty old bastards drunk on love
And mean old queens who never forgive
The compromises they made to live

3. Magnetic Fields - Come Back from San Francisco

One of Stephin Merritt's most beautiful love songs, as performed by Shirley Simms on the majestic 69 Love Songs...

Come back from San Francisco and kiss me; I've quit smoking.
I miss doing the wild thing with you.
Will you stay? I don't think so, but all I do is worry, 
Pack bags, call cabs, and hurry home to me.

2. Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales Of San Francisco

You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham...

...is probably the lyric that made me fall in love with the Arctic Monkeys way back when. 

Sad to hear that in the video edit, they replaced the line, ""The band were fucking wank
And I'm not having a nice time." with the far less interesting, "The band weren't very good..."

1. Chris Isaak - San Francisco Days

Probably my favourite Chris Isaak record, there's a real aching melancholy to his voice.





Special mention to Weightless Again by the Handsome Family...

This is why people OD on pills and jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. 
Anything to feel weightless again.

But which San Francisco song makes you feel weightless again?