One Track Summer #4: Wile E. Coyote

If I had to pick a favourite cartoon character, it would probably be Overconfidenti Vulgaris, aka Famishius Famishus, aka Nemesis Ridiculii, aka Wile E. Coyote.

Not only is he a grandiose metaphor for the futility of existence and a glorious anthropomorphism of the persistence of the human spirit, but he is also the inspiration for one of the best comics I ever read.

I don't know if Wild Billy Childish ever read that comic, but he's definitely a fan of the Coyote. He first recorded a tribute back in the 80s with one of his many bands, Thee Mighty Caesars. 

Recently, he revisited the track with his latest band CTMF (I don't know what it stands for, and frankly I'm afraid to ask). It's the perfect encapsulation of the Wile E. Coyote spirit...

Celebrity Jukebox #75: Gerry Conway

Who killed Gwen Stacy?

Was it Norman Osborn, the criminally insane businessman who liked to fly around on a motorised bat, dressed in a green and purple Goblin costume? He was the one who tossed her off the Brooklyn Bridge, laughing maniacally as she plunged towards the icy waters of the East river.

The Daily Bugle, of course, would immediately claim that Gwen was killed by Spider-Man... and for a while, the evidence did point towards him. Grief stricken, the young man behind the mask appeared to admit his culpability to police before fleeing the scene. And there are still those who believe it wasn't the fall that killed Gwen, but the sudden jolt of being caught by Spider-Man's web as he desperately tried to save her.

Professor Caffeine & The Insecurities - You're My Mary Jane, Not My Gwen Stacy (I Won't Accidentally Kill You)

In truth though, Gwen's killer was neither of the above. It was 21 year old comic book writer Gerry Conway, the young man given the daunting responsibility of taking over from Stan Lee on the Amazing Spider-Man comic back in 1972, when he was still a teenager. Some say comics grew up when Gwen Stacy died, and while that's a little too dismissive of the work that preceded this issue, it's certainly true that they were never the same again.

Gerry Conway went on to create The Punisher, Ms. / Captain Marvel, and many other important characters for both Marvel and DC, before moving on to work in TV. The Spider-Man stories he wrote, both in the 70s, and when he returned to the character in the late 80s, are such a big part of my life, it's hard to express their impact. Thank you, Gerry... and I've forgiven you for killing Gwen, even if some people still hold it against you.

Celebrity Jukebox #69: Sal Buscema

I’ve been reading comics for almost fifty years now, and many of the writers and artists who were around when my obsession began are no longer with us. In the past few years, we’ve lost Stan Lee, John Romita, Jim Shooter, Neal Adams, Keith Giffen and many more.

Sal Buscema, who died earlier this week, just two days shy of his 90th birthday, is one of the last of the original Marvel artists to pass. By that, I guess I mean the artists who started out in the 60s. We lost his older brother, John, almost a quarter of a decade ago. Maybe Sal was always seen as working in his big brother’s shadow, but I preferred Sal's loser, more dynamic style. He drew some of the first comics I ever read, and he drew some of my all time favourite stories, particularly his lengthy team-up with writer J.M. DeMatteis on Spectacular Spider-Man in the 90s, a high water-mark for both storytellers.

  

Sal was a storyteller first and foremost. Unlike many of the flashier artists who came later, you could read and follow the action Sal drew without even needing word balloons or narration. His work had a sense of drama and pace that many more stylised artists never achieve. He worked as a penciller and inker at Marvel comics for almost fifty years, with only a brief spell at DC. In that time he must have drawn every big Marvel character – Spider-Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Thor, the Avengers… in my head, I can picture issues of all their books, drawn by Sal.

And he was the first one to draw the Hulk’s love of beans.

Goodnight Sal. Thanks for so many great memories.

The Wedding Present – Spider-Man On Hollywood

Bill Callahan – The Ballad of the Hulk

Em Beihold – Spider-Man

Celebrity Jukebox #93: John Romita

The name John Romita won't mean much to most people reading this blog, but of all the celebrity deaths I've written about this year, his is the one that's hardest for me to process.

John Romita was the second regular artist to draw the original Amazing Spider-Man comic. He took over from Spidey's co-creator, Steve Ditko, in the late 60s, and set a template that defined the look of the character for over a quarter of a century. Although you probably don't know his name, you will have seen his art, since it was generally his work that was licensed for T-shirts, lunch-boxes, candy wrappers and anywhere else that Spidey showed up in the 70s and 80s. Although other art styles came in and out of fashion, Romita's Spider-Man seems timeless. His son, John Romita Jr. went on to follow in his father's footsteps with a looser, more contemporary style, but one that sticks pretty firmly to the template. He's still drawing the character today. 

I don't often write about comics here, but as with the passing of Stan Lee a few years back, I wanted to mark the death of one of my heroes. The only lyrical mentions I found were rappers quoting his name as the co-creator of The Punisher. Big John did, however, draw the covers of two albums I used to own on vinyl, but haven't listened to in years: Spider-Man: Rock Reflections Of A Superhero by Hero (a made-up group that included Marty Nelson from Manhattan transfer and David Sanborn on sax) and The Amazing Spider-Man: From Beyond The Grave - A Rockomic by Ron Dante (formerly of The Archies) & The Webspinners. Neither are classics, but they meant a lot to me growing up.

Celebrity Jukebox #27: Lou Ferrigno

I've read comics all my life. I can't afford to buy them anymore, so I just read them online through a monthly subscription app. Stream them, I guess. Then again, when I started buying comics they were 10p each. Nowadays they're over three quid a pop - I don't know how modern collectors do it.

Two things got me into reading comics. One was the 70s Spider-Man cartoon, the one with the immortal theme tune. But as much as Spidey became my number one hero, he wasn't the star of the first comic I owned. That was Hulk Comic, which my mum bought me because I loved the old TV show starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno. 

Ferrigno was a body builder who initially became famous when he featured in the 1975 documentary Pumping Iron alongside a young Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Scharzenegger was considered for the role of the Hulk, but lost out in the end because he was three inches shorter than Ferrigno.) 

Having lost almost 80% of his hearing as a child, young Lou retreated into a fantasy world of super-hero comics and body-building to avoid the bullies. Excellent preparation for his time as the Incredible Hulk... and for being Michael Jackson's personal trainer for over 20 years. 

You can pretty much guarantee that anyone who's known for being a tough guy will be name-checked in about 300 rap songs, and that's certainly true for Lou. You'll easily find him associating with everyone from Ice Cube to Eminem to Busta Rhymes, plus a bunch of other guys even hardcore rap fans probably never heard of. 

Lou Ferrigno's name features in more song titles than anyone else I've so far investigated for this feature... although none of them are by anyone you've ever heard of. Don't believe me? Try these (or don't, I won't be offended)...

Bob King - Lou Ferrigno

Staunch Moderates - Lou Ferrigno

Antanequiaa Da Bbw - Lou Ferrigno

Mr. Muthafuckin' eXquire - Lou Ferrigno's Mad

But wait! They're not all obscure rap songs!

Crash & the Crapenters - Lou Ferrigno

Badass Cowboys - The Ballad of Lou Ferrigno

Moussa - Lou Ferrigno

Glitch Moth - Lou Ferrigno

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's plenty more out there if you like scraping barrels. 

By this point in my search I was starting to get desperate. What were the chances of finding any Lou Ferrigno songs in my own record collection? Well, as it turned out... zilch. The closest I got was an unreleased Weezer b-side featuring Rage Against The Machine's Tom Morello on guitar...

Weezer - Caveman (demo)

Who needs another Lou Ferrigno?

Splitting his shirt when things slip out of his control

Wise men do say that honey gets more bees than vinegar

I'm not sure, so I guess I'll try and let a tantrum out

And an obscurity from They Might Be Giants, a band I have a lot of time for, although this isn't one of their finest moments...

They Might Be Giants - Sold My Mind to The Kremlin 

With no place in the processional

And no seats in the convention hall

I sold my mind to the Kremlin

On the 4th of July.

I was wearing a Yoda mask

You were talking like Lou Ferrigno

A hat made of paper

A vest made of ugly

An intercom with just one button

Despite these many lyrical references, I feel a genuine tribute to Lou Ferrigno has yet to be written. Maybe Ed Sheeran can give it a go...

In the meantime, here's a huge comic book fan with his own tribute to The Incredible Hulk... although Lou sadly doesn't get a mention.

 

What about the Incredible Hulk's other half? Well, it turns out I had slightly more luck with Bill Bixby... as you'll see next time.

Conversations With Ben #24: Anti-Racist Baby

Rol: In the hospital, we get free kids books to give out to our patients. Today's box included 2 copies of this. Can you work out who the target audience is, because we are struggling...?

Ben: Neo Nazi toddlers?

Quite. The people who need this book will never read it. The people who don't need it don't need it. Not sure who Puffin is marketing this at.

That's what me and my mate were just saying.

It may have a positive intention but it doesn't have an audience for impact.

My favourite kids book of that level was The Last of the NooNoos.

I just googled that. I presume there's a subtext about racism towards green pigs.

Nah. The kid just wants to keep their dummy (noonoo).

Louise's friend has made up a song about this book. She's singing, "All the babies, all the babies, anti-racist babies..."

Is it wrong to dip bread in miso soup or is it British / Asian fusion?

Not a fan of miso soup at all. Louise used to make this dish with miso, noodles and pak choi. It was the only thing she ever made that I hated. I'm glad she stopped making it.

U don like udon?

I like noodles. Just not if they're in miso.

Miso's only a subtle flavour.

And Pak Choi is horrible. It's like that Spring cabbage they used to give us for school dinner that's like chewing through an enormous dock leaf.

Not if you wilt it properly.

Gotta cook it perfectly. Undercooked, it's like eating a garden leaf, overcooked and it's stewed.

Thank you,  Delia.

I don't think Delia ever cooked it. It didn't come in a tin.

You realise it's 10.15 on a Saturday night right now? Robert Smith would be proud.

To eat miso soup?

Well, it is a panacea. The Cure to all his ailments...

I got my March pre-order email and I now order so many comics that I get a free copy of the Previews catalogue.

You did this to me.

Don't blame me. I don't even buy comics anymore.

No. You passed that curse to me. Now I have to wait til I'm in my sixties to pass it onto someone else.

Comics won't exist when you're in your 60s. All the old fart collector's who keep the industry afloat will be dead, and kids will be more interested in injecting VR bdiddliblngs straight into their neural shazboxes.

Old man shouts at clouds.

Here's a comic from when I was a kid...

Gotta love the 70s. Things were so much simpler then. 

Also a sound plan from Lex Luthor.

Does that make Kid Flash now Mid Flash if Flash is turned to a kid?

Not if Lex has killed the Flash. That makes Kid Flash the Flash.

That's a lot of pressure on a kid.

And if Lex goes after him next, presumably he'll turn him into a baby and then kill that.

Does the device he used to de-age them only do so many years?

Surely he'd have been better off just turning them all into babies in the first place?

Or is there a Comics Code Authority red line?

Maybe he could turn them all into foetuses and flush them. Except that would upset the Bible Belt, so probably not.

Beating the shit outta kids is wholesome and Christian though.

Exactly. Just don't hurt them before they're born.

Oh - look! 

There's a whole collection of them!

Truly, the internet never lets me down...

But... why?

Who conceives of that and then puts the effort into making it?

The Spidey one looks quite cute. The Hulk one is disturbing. But the naked Hitler one is on the wrong page, surely?

The Spidey one looks like he's just waiting.

The Hulk looks like Blanka from Street Fighter,

You know who would really screw up Lex Luthor's plan?

Jon Bon Jovi?

Squidly Diddley?

Hong Kong Phooey?

None of the above... this guy!

Is Lex Luthor a racist?

Middle-aged white male billionaire, skinhead, hates Richard Pryor... you work it out.

(Sorry, I just realised Lex Luthor wasn't in Superman III, so that joke doesn't really work.)

Your Suggestions Needed...

You'll be pleased to know that we hit our Kickstarter target for the latest issue of Department of the Peculiar, so Rob has come up with an excellent "extra" to give away with the comic if we hit our stretch goal. (Believe me, I don't understand any of this stuff.)

Because the writer is a sadist, the script for the latest issue required Rob to draw a wall full of portraits of dead rock stars. To be honest, when I wrote that, I thought he'd just do thumbnail sketches... but, Rob being Rob, he ended up doing full portraits... of loads and loads of them.

(Believe me, that's not all of them.)

These went down pretty well when he posted them on Facebook, so Rob came up with the idea of publishing them in a CD booklet. And because it wasn't really fair that the lazy writer got away with doing bugger all for this venture, Rob asked me to write the liner notes.

I came up with a couple of ideas, thinking about what else you'd find in a CD booklet, and decided to write up a track-listing for this imaginary record. Just like the kind of nonsense list / mix I've been writing here for years.

So I've started compiling a list of songs by dead rock stars about death / dying / living forever / etc. etc. etc. This kind of thing...

Hank Williams - I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive 

John Prine - When I Get To Heaven

Faron Young - Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young 

Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye

John Denver - Leaving On A Jet Plane

Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart

I have a few more, but because I'm scared of missing out some obvious ones, I thought I'd throw it open to you guys and see if you had any further suggestions.

Here are the rules...

1. The singer (preferably songwriter) has to be dead.

I rejected Who Wants To Live Forever? by Queen because it was written by Brian, not Freddie.

2. The song title has to be about life or death, heaven or hell... it can't just be in the lyrics.

I rejected Come As You Are by Nirvana... but I'd probably have included it if Kurt had called the song "I Don't Have A Gun".

Similarly, I couldn't include My Generation by The Who even though it contains the perfect line ("Hope I die before I get old") because the title doesn't allude to life or death, and the songwriters are still with us.

3. I'll also accept songs where the songwriter appears to have eerily predicted their own demise - like the John Denver one above.

Above is the cover to the "Heroes" booklet, featuring Mal (our character) posing as Bowie.

As always, your wisdom will be gratefully received.

And now, because I didn't have time last week to pay proper tribute to Little Richard...


More information on the Department of the Peculiar Kickstarter here.

Probably Not The Best Time To Launch A Kickstarter...

...but we held off as long as we could. Rob has dogs to feed.

The latest Kickstarter for our comic Department Of The Peculiar... Goes Pop #2 (the concluding chapter) went live on Saturday. The front cover is based on a classic album cover... kudos if you get that, because I wouldn't have if Rob hadn't told me. This is back cover...

And here's a few random panels from the interior.

If you were kind enough to support issue #1, you maybe interested in supporting #2... but no pressure, I understand funds are a little tight for many people at the moment. I won't hold it against you.

If you didn't sample #1 but are intrigued by what it's all about, you can easily get #1 and #2 together as part of the Kickstarter for very few extra pennies.

Here are some nice things people said about the first issue...

To find out more, follow this link.

End of Blatant Self-Promotion. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Here's an appropriate tune. Watch the video and you'll see where Joe Wicks got his best moves from...



By the way, I'd just like to point out, for those of you who read issue #1: yes, I did kill Bonio in that comic, because I have a great deal of animosity towards Bono. I don't have any animosity towards the Stones though, I've always found them very entertaining... hilariously so!

2019 Contenders: The Smog Lifts

I'm having a hard time finding anything positive to write about of late, which is adding to my blogging drought. Still, here's an excellent aid to the 3am woes, the latest album from Smog's Bill Callahan: a genuine spirit lifter. Not only has he written a song about the 1970s Incredible Hulk TV show*, but he also excels at the pithy lyrical couplet. Here's one example which will hopefully lift your spirits slightly too.

Angela
Angela
Like motel curtains, 

We never really met...

(It's worth pointing out... before anyone else does... that Bill isn't the first person to write a song called The Ballad of The Hulk. Here's Jerry Jeff Walker's very different, but equally enthralling, song with the same title.)

Kickstart My Heart

Taking a break from my break to let you know about my new comic. Now, I realise this will only be of interest to a few of you, and no worries if that's not you. But if you've read any of my comics before - particularly the last one I released before my "retirement" from writing, Department of the Peculiar - you may be interested to know that the second story from that series is set to be released soon... if we achieve our publishing target on Kickstarter. The book was mostly written about five years ago (around the time the first story was published) but for one reason or another it's been on hold since then. However, my collaborator and all-round artistic genius Rob Wells has been pushing hard to get the story out there and drag me out of retirement, and the Kickstarter looks like it may just do that.

How is this relevant to a music blog? Well, the latest story is Department of the Peculiar Goes Pop, and it may be on interest to music fans beyond the normal comics fanbase. You can read much more about it here or click on the images below for a preview of the first three pages in which something very nasty happens to a bunch of musicians you may almost recognise...

If you fancy helping us on our way to our publishing target, all help will be gratefully received. But I won't hold it against you if you don't - this isn't for everybody, just the discerning few.

See you back here on Saturday for more Snapshots.

My Top Ten Superman Songs

There's a new Superman movie out and I'm reserving judgment till I've see it. Much as I'm a huge comic book fan, I always had problems with Superman as a character... yet there's no disputing his impact on popular culture. The Superman Homepage has compiled a list of 566 (and counting) pop songs that reference the Man of Steel... and, no, I didn't listen to all of them in preparation for this countdown. Just the ten (ahem) or so I found in my own record collection... 

Special mentions to The Superman Revenge Squad (who pop up here quite often anyway), Klark Kent, and Black Lace. (Go on, hitch a ride to the 80s wedding disco. You had to be there. Macho man!)



10. Laurie Anderson - O Superman

As annoying as Black Lace were... be honest now, is the full 8 1/2 minutes of Laurie Anderson's biggest hit any less so?

(You also had to be there.)

See also Sueperman's Big Sister by Ian Dury, which was apparently spelled that way to "avoid copyright issues". Like that bothered anyone else on this chart. 

9. Straw - Weird Superman

Lost indie classic you've never heard of alert!

See also Superman's Song by the Crash Test Dummies, which is TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD. F@#k me. Oh, and Jimmy Olsen's Blues by The Spin Doctors from a similar era.

8. Robyn Hitchcock - Superman

In which Robyn finds a crunchy little Superman in his cornflake box. Don't ask me, I just play them.

7. REM - Superman

Not an original REM song, this was originally recorded by The Clique back in 1969. Their version's pretty groovy too.

6. Cinerama - Superman

David Gedge has written songs about Superman, Spider-Man, The Hulk... even Dan Dare. And (going back to Superman), he even named one of his albums Bizarro. Good lad!

5. Frank Black - Man of Steel

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Super-Pixie!

From the soundtrack to... erm, the X-Files TV show.

See also Man of Steel by Meat Loaf, which is pretty cool too, considering it wasn't written by Jim Steinman.

See also The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts by Sufjan Stevens. Cheating much to squeeze all these in, Rol?   

4. The Kinks - (Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman

The Kinks go disco... well, it was 1979.

Woke up this morning, started to sneeze
I had a cigarette and a cup of tea
I looked in the mirror what did I see
A nine stone weakling with knobbly knees
I did my knees bend press ups touch my toes
I had another sneeze and I blew my nose
I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest
I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed
Surely there must be a way
For me to change the shape I'm in
Dissatisfied is what I am
I want to be a better man

3. Gil Scott Heron - Ain't No Such Thing As Superman

Way cooler than any song about Superman ever deserves to be.

And if you think that's groovy: check out Superman Lover by Johnny Guitar Watson. Ain't that a bitch!

2. Donovan - Sunshine Superman

Might have been Number One, but lost points for also mentioning Green Lantern.

However rubbish you might think Superman is, Green Lantern is ten times rubbisher.

See also Superlungs, My Supergirl. Only in the 60s.

(And, if we're mentioning Kara Zor-El, we should spare a moment for You're Really Super, Supergirl by XTC. And if we're mentioning XTC, we should spare a moment for Braniac's Daughter by The Dukes of Stratosphere. Phew.)

1. The Flaming Lips - Waitin' For A Superman

The Flaming Lips' Superman song is actually better than their Spider-Man song which, frankly, is just perverse.

Tell everybody waiting for Superman
That they should try to hold on best they can
He hasn't dropped them, forgot them, or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift

OK, so a certain amount of rule-breaking went into the compilation of this particular Top Twenty-some... but there's no denying, there were some super tunes.

Which one makes you want to leap tall buildings in a single bound?

My Top Ten Peculiar Songs

So I have a new comic out.

You can read all about it here.

To celebrate: an appropriate Top Ten...


10. Tim Buckley - Ain't It Peculiar

Who knew Tim Buckley could be this funky?

9. Vinny Peculiar - Uniform

Couldn't find a whole lot of Vinny Peculiar on youtube, but I liked this Robert-Palmer-meets-Porridge video.

8. Willie Nelson & Emmylou Harris - My Own Peculiar Way

Because you can never have enough Willie.

(Oh, give me a break! I only did that gag to keep Steve happy!)

7. Hüsker Dü - It's Not Peculiar

The Hold Steady weren't just influenced by Bruce.

6. Man Like Me - Peculiar

These guys listened to way too much Talking Heads while in the womb. Still, nothing wrong with that.

5. Cousteau - Peculiarly You

The way you arch your back and comb your hair
The way you only come when no-one else is there
The way you look like you might know a secret
There's not a lot I can do, it's peculiarly you

Top youtube comment for this song: "This song is like seeing a beautiful woman in a way". So that's what Swiss Toni's doing these days.

4. Marvin Gaye - Ain't That Peculiar

Scrumptious. See also the Japan version, which you may prefer... if you're CLINICALLY INSANE. (No offense. There's nothing wrong with the Japan version. As an 80s artifact. But c'mon - it's hardly Marvin Gaye.)

3. Frank Sinatra - Life Is So Peculiar

About time we had a burst of Frank philosophy round here...

When I get up each morning, there's nothing to breathe but air
And when I look in the mirror, there's nothing to comb but hair
And when I sit down to breakfast, there’s nothing to eat but food
Life is so peculiar but you can't stay home and brood

2. Simon & Garfunkel - A Most Peculiar Man

As a lonely, confused and frightened twenty-something, I sometimes wondered if this was how I'd end up...

1. Mull Historical Society - Peculiar

If Department of the Peculiar had a theme song, this would be it.

Don’t make them laugh, or they will LAUGH at you…
Don’t piss them off, or they will piss on you…
Don’t make them crack !!
Or they will crack…you.... in 2 2 2 2……

So, those were the most peculiar songs I could find. Do you have a favourite peculiarity?