Namesakes #88: Wax

Another week, another band name that has been claimed by multiple suspects. Wax has been slang for songs trapped inside a physical format right back to the days of the wax cylinder. But how many of these are Hot Wax... and how many leave you decidedly cool?

Let's tear off the wax strip and find out...

WAX #1

New York funk from 1981, featuring among its membership one Joseph W. Lattisaw, Jr., who I'm guessing must be related to Stacy Lattislaw, since he also sang backing vocals on some of her records.

Wax - Rock Stomp

WAX #2

In 1981, Lonely Boy Andrew Gold helped 10cc out with keyboards on their Ten Out Of 10 album. They offered him a place in the band, but he was far too busy writing the Golden Girls theme tune. A couple of years later, his diary had freed up some, so he decided to join Graham Gouldman in a new band venture while 10cc were on hiatus. They were originally called World In Action, which sounded too much like that really dull ITV documentary show I never watched as a kid, before changing their name to Common Knowledge. Wax was clearly preferable, but chart success continued to elude them until a couple of years later when their single Right Between The Eyes went to Number One in Spain. Soon after they had a UK hit with the song below and one of those awful 80s animated videos that make your eyes bleed after about 30 seconds...

WAX #3

Swedish punks from 1983 with a cassette-only release that translates as "Punk Is Not Dead". You decide...

Wax - Punken Är Inte Död

WAX #4

Italian disco-pop duo from 1984 whose solo single, Rock A Hong-Kong, is sadly unavailable on the tube of you. However, its b-side, Wax Dance, was remixed and re-issued almost 30 years later by Dutch label Bordello A Parigi. This is the result...

Wax - Wax Dance

WAX #5

Californian rock band who formed in 1991, citing The Ramones and Pixies as influences. Director Spike Jonze worked on some of their videos, including the one below, which was banned from MTV in case it encouraged people to set themselves on fire before going for a jog...

Wax - California

WAX #6

René Pawlowitz is a German techno DJ & producer also known as Shed. Wax is another pseudonym he goes by, producing lots of "tunes" which are so "good" they don't need titles... just numbers. This, from 2008, is 10001. George will be especially pleased to learn that it is 8 minutes long. DON'T DO IT, GEORGE!

Wax - 10001

WAX #7

LA rapper who claims his biggest influences are Guns n Roses and DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince. Not that you can tell that by listening to his most popular tune, from 2012...

Wax - Rosana

WAX #8

Finally, some contemporary K-Pop balladeering that will chill you to your very marrow... before you realise it's no longer appropriate to mock music that's hugely successful in other cultures just because it doesn't appeal to you. I'm guessing this young lady had made a lot of money though, so good on her for finding a way to turn schmaltz into moolah.

Wax - Coin Laundry

And there we have it. Eight pieces of wax to scrape out of your ears. But which are wax on and which are wax off?

Feel free to wax lyrical in the comments box...

Saturday Snapshots #149 - The Answers

Here they are...

10. Every day's the same - no wonder these rogues want to be let into hell!

Rakes at the gates of hell?

The Rakes - Work, Work, Work (Pub, Sleep, Club)

9. Is there a (half) man present?

Half Man Half Biscuit leads us to the Cookies.

The Cookies - I Want A Boy For My Birthday

Morrissey & Marr's debut home recording was a cover of this song.

8. Touching Paul Rodgers, with sugar.

Paul Rodgers was in Free.

Cream & sugar.

Cream - I Feel Free

7. Bedfordshire birds nest for the weekend, on Radiohead's desert island.

Leyton Buzzard is in Bedfordshire.

Radiohead sang about Fake Plastic Trees.

The Leyton Buzzards - Saturday Night (Beneath The Plastic Palm Trees)

6. I am not in either... look in the mirror, as the adverts used to say.

Take I from either and you're left with Ether.

If you really want to know, look in the Mirror, as the tabloid ads used to sing. When I were a lad.

Ether - If You Really Want To Know

5. No moon after B52 love missile.

The B52's shack... under attack... on a dark night.

Shakatak - Dark Is The Night

I hated Shakatak when I was a teenager too. Now though, I feel a curious nostalgia for the chart detritus of my youth.

4. Scottish wife found in crummy Georgian pub.

A Scottish wife would be a Mc-Bride.

Dahlonega is in Georgia. Of course!

Ashley McBryde - A Little Dive Bar In Dahlonega

3. Donald grew, Dan growled, Rod wangled. But George was all on his own.

The first three are all anagrams... but George on his own would be a Lonely Boy.

Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy

Can't believe it's take me 149 (+) weeks to feature that.

2. Seymour's kleptomania exposed.

Jane Seymour is addicted to stealing... but now she's been caught.

Jane's Addiction - Been Caught Stealing

Brian held the drummer's paint can. Now that's a claim to fame!

1. Gemuflect. Pork scratchings and a cuppa.

A diamond is a gem.

Genuflect means "to lower one's body briefly by bending one knee to the ground"... or kneel.

Pork scratchings are crackling.

Rosie Lee.

Neverending Top Ten #2.4: Music & Mood

I realised something the other day while Sam and I were listening to the latest in-car mix CD I've created to help further his musical education. This is hardly an earth-shattering revelation, it's something that I'm sure will be obvious to all of you, but I'd never quite thought about it in this way before...

Music depends on mood.

Specifically, our appreciation of music.

I put Sam #82 (yes, this is the 82nd CD I have made for him... I'll soon be beating Now CD numbers) on for the first time on Friday morning. I was worn out after a hectic week and in quite a grumpy mood, so my first reaction to the tracks I'd chosen was pretty negative. "You've made much better CDs before, maybe after 82 CDs you're starting to exhaust all the Sam-friendly tunes, maybe you should go back to the earlier discs where every song's a winner," etc, etc.

We did quite a lot of driving around on Friday, so by mid-day Saturday the CD had flipped back to track one. On Saturday though, I was in a much happier mood, and suddenly I found myself enjoying the same tracks I'd poured scorn on the day before. "This is a brilliant CD! What the hell was wrong with me yesterday?"

Sam's taken a particular fancy to the track below by Wax, an 80s duo made up of Graham Gouldman, formerly of 10CC, and Andrew Gold, formerly of Andrew Gold. I bought the album American English back in 1987 and played it for a couple of months... but not much since. When I first heard it again on Friday afternoon, it sounded like tinny 80s pap. By Sunday, we were both singing along to the cheesy "Woh oh oh oh oh" chorus.

Music & mood... discuss!

My Top Ten Girls vs. Boys Songs

Ten girl songs versus ten boy songs. Who will come out on top?


10. Generation X - Modern Boys vs. Sheena Easton - Modern Girl

Billy Idol vs. Sheena Easton... who would you put your money on?

The boys outnumber the girl here, but they teach 'em to fight tough in Glasgow.

Sheena takes the first victory for the ladies.

9. Morrissey - Girl Least Likely To vs. Boy Least Likely To - The Battle of the Boy Least Likely To

Regular viewers will realise we can't let Morrissey win one of these - not even to a band who named themselves after one of his songs. I say because it's because he needs to maintain that perpetual losing streak, you probably say it's because he's a nazi.

The boys make it one all.

8. Alison Moyet - Ode To Boy vs. Carl Barat - Ode To A Girl

Well, obviously this one goes to Alison... although that does mean the boys go one up.

7. The Seekers - Georgie Girl vs. Jack Lukeman - Georgie Boy

"Jack who?" you cry. Surely Judith Durham claims a victory here.

Except...

There's something about the perkiness of Georgie Girl that has the worst kind of 60s sound to my ears... and that Jack Lukeman track is pretty damned good, actually.

3-1 to the boys! Oh no!

6. Death Cab For Cutie - Some Boys vs. Racey - Some Girls

So to get the girls back in the game, I have to choose RACEY over Death Cab For Cutie.

Thank god I'm uncool.

3-2.

5. Voice of the Beehive - Stupid Boy vs. Garbage - Stupid Girl

Very cool Beehive song (great lyrics too), but Shirley wins this one, bringing us back to level-pegging.

3-3

4. Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe - The Golden Boy vs. John Martyn - Golden Girl

A nice simple acoustic John Martyn song vs. the operatic pomp of Freddie & Montserrat, a track from the Barcelona album which I've not listened to in ages. I was almost about to give this one to the girls too, but around the 2 1/2 minute mark, Freddie only goes and blows the bloody doors off. Wow.

4-3 to the boys.

3. Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy vs. Lucinda Williams - Lonely Girls

I'm going to confess something now... for many years, I considered Andrew Gold's Lonely Boy to be a masterpiece on a par with Morrissey's I Have Forgiven Jesus in regard to describing how my life felt... in fact I think I may have listened to it a bit too much.

On the other hand, I first heard Lonely Girls on an Uncut compilation CD and it was probably the track that introduced me to Lucinda Williams.

4 all.

2. Don Henley - Boys of Summer vs. Arab Strap - Girls of Summer

Arab Strab are hilarious, and this is one of their best.

But... Boys of Summer is one of the greatest songs of the 80s, and one of the best summer songs ever recorded. I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...

5-4 to the boys.

1. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry vs. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Too close to call, surely?



Let's call it a draw to keep everyone happy...


But what would your verdict be? Boys or girls? Whoever wins, the losers don't cry...

My Top Ten Life Lessons Volume 1: Never...

Everything I know about life, I learned from pop songs.

Here are ten things pop singers told me I should NEVER do...


10. The Boomtown Rats - Never Bite The Hand That Feeds

Listen to your mum and dad, kids... and grumpy uncle Bob.

9. Adam Ant - Never Trust A Man (With Egg On His Face)

Adam certainly heard the voices from Outer Space, didn't he?

But we loved him for it.

8. George Benson - Never Give Up On A Good Thing

Why would you? See also #5. And #3, for that matter.

On the other hand...

7. All About Eve - Never Promise (Anyone Forever)

Don't go out tonight

Don't leave me alone

It doesn't feel safe in our English home

There's fear in my heart

In my ear a whisper

Are you afraid too, or is it just me?

Written many, many years before Brexit, that was...

6. Bomb The Music Industry - Never Trust A Man Without A Horribly Embarrassing Secret

I don't want to make new friends

My friendships always end up in a blaze

I just wanted to be something that I'll probably never be

A happy, well-adjusted human being

5. Andrew Gold - Never Let Her Slip Away

'Nuff said.

4. Sparks - Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth

Are you listening, Mr. Trump?

3. Boney M - Never Change Lovers In The Middle Of The Night

Never never change your lovers in the middle of the night

Everything may look so different in the early morning light

Never never be too hasty when you're groping in the dark

What you're getting into may be just a lark

There's no arguing with Boney M.

2. Idles - Never Fight A Man With A Perm

I'm a lover, not a fighter... but I wouldn't do that either.

1. Billy Bragg - Never Buy The Sun

Do what the Scousers do...



Any pop stars ever told you never to do something? Did you listen?

Hot 100 #53

I ended last week's post by suggesting there was an obvious choice for this week, which seemed to cause a fair bit of head-scratching across the community. Some of you identified it, but only Swiss Adam seemed confident that it was the undisputed champion.

What else was there?

Lynchie drop-kicked off the suggestions with these...

The Dropkick Murphys - 1953 "Which," he points out, "doesn't mention 1953 at all in the lyrics - only the title." Not that that would stop me.

The National Parks – 1953 "Very wimpy love song," says Lynchie, "I doubt if it's that one." Not that that would stop me.

Finally, he offered Johnny Winter - Riot In Cell Block #9 with the following opening line...

On July the second, 1953
I was serving time in Tahatchopee

…"which you've got to admit," he adds, "is pretty fab." No disputing that.

Remaining in the year 1953, I found these...

Charley Pride - There's A Little Bit of Hank In Me...

"...Cause I caught it in my voice off the radio in '53"

Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy

In the summer of '53 his mother
Brought him a sister

And as usual, a couple of cars that were built in 1953...

Chuck Berry - C'est La Vie (You Never Can Tell)

They bought a souped-up Jitney, 'twas a cherry red '53

They drove it down to Orleans to celebrate the anniversary

Steve Miller Band - Going To Mexico

'53 Studebaker, going for broke...

I'm pushin' it night and day

Meanwhile, if your motoring experiences are limited to the motorways of the United Kingdom, here's Mansun - Take It Easy, Chicken...

In a trance
M53
Hit a tree
Crashed my car

Oh, and before we get back to your suggestions, here's Loudon Wainwright III - Living Alone to cheer up anyone who's aged 53 this year...

What you need is a dog, some goldfish or a cat
A boa constrictor and a laboratory rat
The end is at hand now and you have the means
A roll of toilet paper and the right magazines
Your parents are dead now and your kids are full grown
You're 53 now, you're 53 now, you're 53 now
You're living alone.

C was up next, offering a fine runner-up for this week which was seconded by Rigid Digit and Alyson...

The B-52s - 53 Miles West of Venus

However, this week's 53 isn't a year... or an age... it's a street number. 53rd Street in New York City, exactly where it crosses 3rd Avenue to be precise.

The Swede was first to be caught loitering there, along with The Rolling Stones - When the Whip Comes Down...

Yeah, I'm going down fifty-third street and they spit in my face,

I'm learning the ropes, yeah I'm learning a trade...

Also hanging around on that corner, looking very dodgy indeed, was Alyson... along with Rod Stewart - The Killing of Georgie...

The sight of blood dispersed the gang
A crowd gathered, the police came
An ambulance screamed to a halt on fifty-third and third

But the biggest crime to be committed at this specific intersection came from Rigid Digit, breaking My Top Ten's strict NO U2 rule... but getting away with it (just) by suggesting one of the few U2 songs that doesn't make me want to take a pair of rusty pliers to Bono's nostrils...

U2 - Angel of Harlem

Birdland on fifty three
The street sounds like a symphony
We got John Coltrane and a love supreme
Miles, and she's got to be an angel

(You know what that one sounds like. You really don't need to click on the link and give Bono an extra 0.00000007 pence or whatever he gets per youtube view. He has enough money to last him a lifetime.)


This week's winner though... well, by now it should be obvious, even if it wasn't at first. The Ramones will always stand a good chance on this blog because they understood that punk music - and pop music - is essentially rather silly and therefore should be fun.

...1234!



52 next week... this could take a while!