Here's a famous organ player - Booker T. Yesterday, Ray Manzarek introduced our quiz. But neither of them played the kinds of organs you'll hear below...
15. Charles, could be another #4.
Charles Mansun would be in good company with the names listed in Clue 4.
The AI says, "Yes, individual muscles are considered organs because they are structures composed of different tissues working together to perform a specific function, like movement."
Most posts on this blog lately feature a load of different, spuriously-linked songs, and gone are the days when I'd write about any one song in detail. But I've been reading Jeff Tweedy's new book, World Within A Song, and I like the way each chapter focuses on just one track. Often he goes off on a ramble and the chapter ends up having very little to do with the track in question, but it still makes for a fascinating read.
So I thought I'd try something similar. A series in which I focus on one song per post (although inevitably, as below, I might end up mentioning others). I'm not sure I'll have anything remotely interesting to say, and I'm certainly no Jeff Tweedy, but I like to set myself little challenges to stop life getting too dull.
I'm starting at complete random with U Got The Look. It was the first Prince single I bought. Although it wasn't just Prince, was it? It was Sheena Easton too. And at that time, I was possibly more familiar with her than I was with Prince himself. I grew up on Radio 2, Tel and Ray Moore in the morning, Diddy David Hamilton and the mighty John Dunn after school. Back in 1980, when Sheena Easton released her debut single off the back of her appearance in Esther Rantzen's Big Time, Radio 2 was the only station I listened to.
Despite her Lanarkshire lass, Esther Rantzen & Radio 2 beginnings, Sheena ended up being a much bigger star on the other side of the pond. After her Bond theme, she pretty much gave up on the UK (or maybe we gave up on her), whereas in the States she had 15 Billboard Top 40 hits, seven of which made the Top 10. Over there, she's one of the best-selling British female vocalists of the 80s, and because she jumped effortlessly between genres, she is the only artist to have a Top 5 hit on each of Billboard's primary singles charts: the rechristened-to-avoid-Dolly-confusion "Morning Train (Nine to Five)" (Pop and Adult Contemporary), "We've Got Tonight" with Kenny Rogers (Country and Adult Contemporary) and "Sugar Walls" (R&B and Dance).
That last one was written specially for her by Prince, but it caused quite a stir when moral rights campaigner Tipper Gore (the American Mary Whitehouse) named and shamed it on her Filthy Fifteen - a list of songs so indecent that I had to go and make a playlist out of them immediately. I'm not suggesting Tipper did the same. She probably used a C60.
But we're not here to talk about Sheena, we're here to talk about U Got The Look. Back when Prince died, 8 years ago now, I cobbled together a list of my Top Ten Prince Songs, and put this at Number 3. I'm not sure I'd stand by that list now - Raspberry Beret would be much higher, for a start. And where was Little Red Corvette? Take Me With You? Kiss!?!
An impossible task. But my point is, I don't think U Got The Look is really up there with the very best Prince had to offer. To use a football analogy (has it come to this?), it's in the Championship, not the Premier League. But it gets extra points from me because it was my first, and we always remember our first, don't we, Prince? (It's hard to write about Prince without every other sentence becoming an innuendo. They just bounce off the tongue...)
Here's what I wrote back in 2016...
I was 15, and I thought Prince must surely be the king of chat-up lines...
Your face is jamming
Your body's heck-a-slamming
If love is good
Let's get to ramming
And they played that on the radio, and nobody batted an eyelid. Because it was Prince.
You know, listening back now, I think this is Prince's answer to Paradise By The Dashboard Light. (Maybe it's just the baseball metaphors.) The only difference being that Prince, unlike Meat 'n' Jim, didn't have to promise the earth to get his end away. Because he was Prince.
I'm not sure I recognise the comments about chat up lines above... they're obviously mine, but I must have been in a particularly bullish mood when I wrote them. The truth is, at the age of 15 I was terrified at the very idea of chatting anyone up, and I certainly wouldn't have used a line like that. But I think the point I was trying to make - very clumsily - is that Prince represented a kind of hyper-masculine sexuality without ever appearing macho or chauvinistic. I can't think of any other male rock star who's walked that tightrope so carefully. I'm not sure 'Men with a capital M' wanted to be him, but women definitely wanted to be with him.
Actually, there's a much better chat up line in U Got The Look than the one I mentioned above...
You got the look (you got the look) You must'a took (you must'a took) A whole hour just to make up your face, baby
Closin' time, ugly lights, everybody's inspected (Everybody's inspected) But you are a natural beauty unaffected (Unaffected) Did I say an hour? My face is red, I stand corrected (I stand corrected)
That's the bit in which Prince realises his chat up line could actually be taken as an insult, and then corrects himself. What a great piece of writing.
Despite the fact that Prince portrayed himself as sexually voracious in his lyrics, he did so with his tongue firmly in his cheek. There's a sense of humour to all these songs that more macho songwriters do not possess. Also, I'm not entirely sure that it wasn't all an act - when the hell did he get time to chat up, seduce and perform in the bedroom? The guy was a complete workaholic. Perhaps the truth is closer to how Bill Callahan imagined it...
Prince alone in the studio
It's two a.m. and all the girls are gone
The girls thought they were going to be able
To have sex with him
They wore their special underwear
Once the tracks were laid down
Prince's back turned around
Raspberry headphones on his head
On his ears
Prince alone in the studio
It's three a.m.
Prince hasn't eaten in eighteen hours
Dinner's burned on the stove
But Prince, he doesn't even know
Prince alone in the studio
It's four a.m.
And he finally gets that guitar track right
And it's better than anything any girl could ever give him
Actually, if you watch the video, that becomes even more likely... because the whole song is just a dream. It starts with Prince falling asleep in his dressing room, and ends with him waking up, looking sad, confused and alone.
I didn't know any of this when I was 15. All I knew was that Prince was cooler than any rock star I'd ever seen in my life. Three and a half decades later, that's still the case.
36 comments and counting from last week, as I begin to type this up. To be fair though, most of them were from George, who doesn't even like this series. Here's his first suggestion...
John Lennon had a really truly awful single in the mid 70s called Number nine dream. Don't include that in your list.
I've got to say, I'm with George on that though: that is bloody awful. Don't watch the video either, unless you want to catch Yoko Ono in leather hotpants. I'm sorry, but I'm siding with Paul on this one.
At least the REM version doesn't have Yoko in it. Or her hotpants.
Whenever I heard the name Meat Puppets, I expect them to be some kind of industrial metal / goth band... not a million miles from Nine Inch Nails. I never fail to be amazed by how they actually sound.
Now much as I like the idea of torturing George, I'm afraid I have to agree with him again on this. Which makes twice in the same week. I am now officially worried for my mental health.
And the perfect lyrical opener for next weeks column... says Rigid Digit.
Trust me, I listened to the opening lyrics... and I couldn't make head or tail of them.
Welcome back, my friends
To the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside
Really? Is that what he was singing? Why can't he enunciate? He was so much nicer when he was singing about Father Christmas.
Speaking of properly enunciating: back to The Swede's list...
I think this was The Swede's last suggestion this week. I don't think I missed any out...
The Studio One Band - Nine Pence
Can't find that last one anywhere on t'internet, but I'm sure it's a belter. It's got to be better than John Lennon and ELP anyway. Eh, George? Go on, old pal, it's you and me against the world this week. What else have you got for me?
Of course it does... just listen to that intro too! Blimey. Makes me want to do high kicks. I've got half a mind to let you take over this feature, George.
Yes, Revolution 9 is a perfect example of why the Beatles had to split up. Weird, really, since the same title (minus the 9) produced one of my all time favourite Beatles songs.
Wow, Rol, your Hot 100s are getting longer and longer, says C. I suspect this trend is set to continue for a few more weeks...
What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, C. As we're all supposed to be discovering at the moment. I'll go with 'Nine Plan Failed' by Adam & The Ants from his arty Dirk Wears White Sox days.
That's a good one! says Lynchie. And it is too. I've been listening to quite a bit of Dave Alvin lately - his voice is a great comfort. But I didn't know that one, so thank you.
Marie (can't link to you this week, Marie, your blog has disappeared again) sided with George on the Nine Pound Hammer, also suggesting this version...
This post reminds me of one of the most epic of epic Chain posts over at Jez's place.
One of my inspirations.
Talking of The Chain he used to have a Worst Record of the Week award so I'm going to nominate song Nine Million Bicycles by Katie Melua. She has a sweet voice and looks stunning but those Mike Batt lyrics drove me mad and I wrote about them over at my place.
Alyson then goes on to explain in detail her issue with this song, but she forbids me from reposting it here (even though it might have helped me beat Jez's record for longest blog post ever). You can read her cutting analysis here though.
Then Lynchie joined in with his own analysis of the Beijing bikes issue:
Fair point about those alleged 9 million bicycles in Beijing, Alyson. As you suggest - it was closer to 9 and a half million back in 2005 when the Katie Melua song was released. But, bicycle use in Beijing has dropped from about 60 percent in 1986 to 17 percent in 2010. At the same time, car use has grown 15 percent a year for the last ten years. (Note - these statistics come from a study of cycling in Beijing conducted by Jinhua Zhao, an urban planning professor at the University of British Columbia. You can find more about the De-Bikification of Beijing here.
I have to admit, I quite like that song though, despite all your objections. My biggest problem is with the video - she's going to ruin that lovely jacket. What a shame.
I bet George is a big Katie Melua fan too. Speaking of George, here's one final suggestion from my new co-writer this week...
With all the suggestions above, I hesitate to add to your sifting burden frivolously. But I have always tried to inject a small Canadian element to your rundown, and though Bryan Adams has been listed already, I feel Canada deserves a more fair and balanced representation than just that one...song. So my musings have turned up a short 1 minute exuberant little ditty I hope you will accept, "Song Nein", by Gunnarola. Its lyrics, though nonsensical, are certainly no moreso than "Song 2" by Blur, which surely must feature prominently in a few weeks time. My favourite lyric is the line "Ich habe Sauerkraut in meinen Lederhosen!" And before you look at the Teutonic spelling in the title and cry "Nyet!", I suggest he certainly intends at least a pun on the Nummer Neun, as indeed it comes in its due and proper sequence following numbers einz and zwei all the way through to seven and eight. For those interested, Gunnarola is a young Youtube artist from London (not of course in England, wherein the Queen lives, but London, Ontario, a gritty industrial town a couple hours west of where I live). He reached his pinnacle of popularity in 2009 with his song "Canadian, Please", which elicited 5 million views for its saucy lyrics extolling the virtues of life in Canada.
I think it's fair to say Mike Nesmith has a more respectable post-Monkees career than either Lennon or McCartney, post-Beatles. Ooh, little bit of controversy there.
That's rather lovely too. But I had to hold off on spending any more money for the moment.
I'm going to miss this series.
Well, that makes one of us, Brian. I do have an idea for what'll replace it though. Hopefully something that doesn't offer up quite so many potential songs every week...
And finally this week, it's over to Jim in Dubai...
Not much left this week but here's what i can add.
Y'know what, Jim? When you suggested that, I shuddered slightly. Then I listened to it again and... bloody hell, you're right. I'd forgotten what a fine pop song that was.
However, I have to hand it to The Swede again this week, for being the first to suggest what he called "surely a massive contender". Because, yes, it was.
Even before The Temptations start singing, this was the winner...
Regular viewers will realise we can't let Morrissey win one of these - not even to a band who named themselves after one of his songs. I say because it's because he needs to maintain that perpetual losing streak, you probably say it's because he's a nazi.
"Jack who?" you cry. Surely Judith Durham claims a victory here.
Except...
There's something about the perkiness of Georgie Girl that has the worst kind of 60s sound to my ears... and that Jack Lukeman track is pretty damned good, actually.
A nice simple acoustic John Martyn song vs. the operatic pomp of Freddie & Montserrat, a track from the Barcelona album which I've not listened to in ages. I was almost about to give this one to the girls too, but around the 2 1/2 minute mark, Freddie only goes and blows the bloody doors off. Wow.
I'm going to confess something now... for many years, I considered Andrew Gold's Lonely Boy to be a masterpiece on a par with Morrissey's I Have Forgiven Jesus in regard to describing how my life felt... in fact I think I may have listened to it a bit too much.
On the other hand, I first heard Lonely Girls on an Uncut compilation CD and it was probably the track that introduced me to Lucinda Williams.
Arab Strab are hilarious, and this is one of their best.
But... Boys of Summer is one of the greatest songs of the 80s, and one of the best summer songs ever recorded. I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...
5-4 to the boys.
1. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry vs. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry
Too close to call, surely?
Let's call it a draw to keep everyone happy...
But what would your verdict be? Boys or girls? Whoever wins, the losers don't cry...
Stockard Channing could wait home every night and wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers every day and waste her life away... but she chose not to. No wonder she ended up as First Lady in The West Wing.
Frankly, Perry, there's a litte too much detail about what you get up to in the shower in this song.
That said, it's preferable to the shower story Julian Cope told in his autobiography, Head On. Anyone who's read that will, I'm sure, know what I'm referring to.
You may never have heard of him, but William Orville Frizzell is considered one of the most influentuial artists in the history of country music. He was a bit of a wild one too, by all accounts.
I apologise for being in the grip of my own desperately sad mid-life crisis. As I type these words, I find it awfully hard not to think about Juliana Hatfield singing in the shower.
Originally recorded in 1982, this track finally emerged 30 years later in two slightly different versions. This is the version taken from the last Prince album released in his lifetime, Hit n Run Phase 2, which I've been listening to quite a bit of late. It's pretty damned good, too.
If ever honey you need someone to take a shower with girl
Call me up and scream
Extra lovable, honey don't you wanna, don't you wanna
Take a bath with me?
Morrissey has painful memories of P.E. lessons at school... don't we all?
Please excuse me from the gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
He grabs and devours
Kicks me in the showers
and he grabs and devours
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
Lenny Henry based his character Theophilus P. Wildebeeste on Teddy Pendergrass (with a bit of Barry White). Tonight, Teddy's in a sexy mood... and when he is, he makes Prince look like a Benedictine Monk.
Let's take a shower, shower together, yeah I'll wash your body and you'll wash mine, yeah Rub me down in some hot oils, baby, yeah And I'll do the same thing to you...
Eurrghh.
1. Jason Isbell - Songs That She Sang In The Shower
Jason Isbell has a new album out today. I'm waiting for my copy to arrive. I hope it's as good as his last one. What a storyteller...
On a lark On a whim I said there's two kinds of men in this world and you're neither of them
And his fist Cut the smoke I had an eighth of a second to wonder if he got the joke
And in the car Headed home She asked if I had considered the prospect of living alone
With a steak Held to my eye I had to summon the confidence needed to hear her goodbye
And another brief chapter without any answers blew by
And the songs that she sang in the shower all ring in my ear Like "Wish You Were Here" How I wish you were here.
And experience robs me of hope That she'll make it back home So I'm stuck on my own I'm stuck on my own
If you're going out on the pull tonight, take this blog with you.
Ten corny pick up lines in song... apologies to Marvin (Let's Get It On) Gaye, George (I Want Your Sex) Michael and Franz (Do You Want To?) Ferdinand. You guys were just too obvious. Next time, serve your whopper with cheese. Or a little bit of metaphor, at least...
Said I've been celibate for years,
Not out of choice there's no-one here,
See I can't give my end away,
Another ordinary day,
And I'd love to see a little more of you,
Your clothes would look better on my bedroom floor,
bedroom floor, bedroom floor.
This one's kind of here by accident. I'm convinced there's a better song out there that does justice to the old "I like your clothes - I'd like them more on my bedroom floor" chestnut, but I'll be damned if google can remind me what it is. Arkarna are a deservedly forgotten band from the Britpop era with two dubious claims to fame. Firstly, their guitarist was Lol (10cc / Godley &...) Creme's son Lalo; and secondly, they had a song featured in the soundtrack to Batman & Robin. Yes, the one with Clooney & Arnie.
This is how they try it on in the southern states. Brad is such a cool dude though, he can just about make it work...
'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
If you're a space cowboy, a gangster of love, or you're called Maurice, then you're allowed to speak with the pompatus of love. This largely involves using the following chat up line...
I really like your peaches Wanna shake your tree
...and not (apparently) getting your head kicked in. Good luck with that.
Jimmy Buffett is a fascinating character, virtually unknown in the UK, but a big draw in the States among his devoted army of "parrot head" fans. Although the laid back, screw-it-all Margaritaville is his most well known song, this track apparently became an accidental jukebox hit when it was released as the b-side to his single The Great Filling Station Hold Up. You can guess why - though Buffet claims it was a throwaway song he wrote to parody various country hits that carried the same message... with a little more subtlety.
Of course, if you want to be as direct as Jimmy - yet a little more classy - you could always try delivering your chat up line in French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?
Always keen to paint himself as the indie Kenneth Williams, David Gedge brings the phnarr phnarr to this particular line - although it comes in response to a far more direct proposition of infidelity... Will a guilty conscience cause Dave a meltdown?
And when you said: "I've got nothing on beneath this dress", that was such great flirting! I usually find such candidness sort of disconcerting But you said: "I don't wear underwear because it leaves a stripe People sneer, but do you think I care? They're usually not my type!" And soon we're reeling from the beer that we keep buying You ask me what I'm doing here and I start lying You're wondering what is on my mind is it a one night stand? You laugh and say: "Baby I'm not blind!" and then you squeeze my hand But please, let's be quick before it melts...
Gedge might have nicked the line from a bawdy 1964 comedy film starring George Maharis and Robert Morse (Bert Cooper from Mad Men). If so, he greatly improved upon his source material.
Tavares have now appeared two weeks running on this blog, making them the new Morrissey. Mozzer's own version of this particular chat up line, Angel, Angel, We Both Go Down Together, failed to score him any chicks.
Prince (who we'll get to in a moment) achieved his biggest hit in the UK by wooing The Most Beautiful Girl In The World. A clear example of hyperbole - and beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Hell, we could all be the most beautiful girl in the world to someone... even me. (Though admittedly, that particular someone would need a serious eye test.)
Anyway, Jermaine from FOTC chose a similar tactic for seducing his special lady... but he decided to scale back his expectations a little and make his lines a bit more realistic...
And when you're in the street (Depending on the street) I bet you are definitely in the top three Good looking girls on the street (Depending on the street)
Nothing like damning your chances with faint praise! But if that doesn't seal the deal... try this:
You're so beautiful You could be a waitress You're so beautiful You could be an air hostess in the 60s You're so beautiful You could be a part time model (But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job)
You can, of course, blindfold yourself and stick a pin in the Prince discography and chances are you'll hit a cheesy chat up line of the highest order. (Just don't let him see you in the blindfold. He might get ideas.) After all, you don't have to be beautiful to turn him on. He just wants your body, baby, from dusk till dawn. And if he was your girlfriend, would you let him pick your clothes before you go out? Because, let's not forget - nothing compares 2 u.
However, U Got The Look must surely be Prince's most shameless coquetery. Although it does contain a line that, had Jermaine from FOTC delivered it, might have gained him a serious slap in the chops.
U got the look U must have took A whole hour just to make up your face...
Erm... what exactly are you saying there, Purple One? That I need to trowel on the greasepaint before you'll even give me a second glance?
Closin' time, ugly lights, everybody's inspected But you are a natural beauty unaffected Did I say an hour? My face is red, I stand corrected!
Oh, all right then, I'll let you off.
It's not the above exchange that almost takes Prince to the top of this chart, however. It's the chat up line so direct... only he could get away with it:
Your face is jammin' Your body's heck-a-slammin' If love is good Let's get to rammin'
Do you reckon that line worked on Sheena?
1. The Bellamy Brothers - If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
And so to this week's undisputed champion. You're forgiven if you thought this one was by Dr. Hook... even though I own a Bellamy Brothers Greatest Hits CD, I still always confuse this with the Hook.
The greatest chat up line ever was actually created by Groucho Marx. BB songwriter David Bellamy (no, not that one) nicked the line from Groucho... which means he was on rather shaky ground when he criticised Britney Spears' songwriting team for using the same line in her anodyne 2011 product placement hit Hold It Against Me. Between the two songs, however, there's no comparison. And I'm not just saying that because I'm 43 years old and I consider Britney Spears the spawn of Beelzebub. Which I guess ruins my chances of getting off with her tonight...
So, there's a party in my pants and you're invited... to leave a comment. That's all. Don't get the wrong impression.
