Thursday, 14 May 2026
Cancel Culture Club #9: Lola
Thursday, 19 February 2026
Celebrity Jukebox #70: The Reverend Jesse Jackson
Here are some cool songs for the late Reverend...
Billy Young - Jesse Jackson For President
Leslie Isaiah Gaines – Jesse (Didn't Get No Justice) / The Jesse Jackson Blues
Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel - Jesse
Of course, not everyone agreed with everything Jesse had to say...
Jesse you say common ground, does that include the PLO?
What about people right here right now who fought for you not so long ago?
The words that flow so freely falling dancing from your lips
I hope that you don't cheapen them with a racist slip, oh common ground
Is common ground a word or just a sound?
Common ground, remember those civil rights workers buried in the ground
But I reckon even Lou would have preferred Jesse to more Ronald Raegan!
Would we take Jesse Jackson?
Hell, we'd take Michael Jackson!
I saved this one till last. Turns out Kris was one of Jesse Jackson's biggest fans... and that's good enough for me.
Sunday, 23 November 2025
Snapshots #423: Sampled Songs
This is Kanye West, an artist known for using lots of samples in his work. Has he used any of the songs below? Let's find out...
15. That time Lee Mavers' group played in the middle of the Church Hall, initially.
Lee Mavers was the man behind The Las. Put Las in the middle of the C H and you get...
Sampled in...
14. Hamburger bun turns over a new leaf.
A Patty turns a Page...
Sample in...
13. Spherical extraterrestrial found in West Berlin.
The spherical extra terrestrial would be a Ball ET...
Sampled in...
PM Dawn - Set Adrift On Memory Bliss
12. Take a Mallett to that Tank Engine.
Timmy Mallett goes for Thomas The Tank Engine...
Timmy Thomas - Why Can't We Live Together
Sampled in...
11. It's a Dalek's thing. Sort of.
"A Dalek's thing" was an anagram.
Sampled in...
10. Not the youngest Mynah Bird.
The Mynah Birds were a Canadian band active in the mid 60s, featuring one Neil Young... and the gentleman above.
Sampled in...
MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This
9. Sancho Panza was a gruff one.
Sancho Panza was a Squire (to Don Quixote). Billy was a Gruff goat.
One of the most sampled tracks ever, featured in over 300 different songs, including...
Kanye West feat Pusha T, Big Sean, CyHi Da Prynce & J Cole - Looking For Trouble
8. Fancy an ethanol salad? Tossed, of course.
"An ethanol salad" was an anagram.
Hall and Oates - I Can't Go For That
Sampled in...
7. King's dad gets the cane.
Elvis's Dad was Vernon Presley. A cane was a birch.
Sampled in...
Deee-Lite - Groove Is In The Heart
6. Since when did origami contain any answers?
When did origami?
Sampled in...
5. Etta & Lola get mixed up in a former London prison.
Etta Lola was an anagram... Holloway was the prison.
Loleatta Holloway - Love Sensation
Sampled in...
4. K-pop reality show.
I'm sure you're all fans of the show in question.
Dream Academy - Life In A Northern Town
Sampled in...
3. That time the TV Hulk met Mr. Fantastic.
The TV Hulk was Lou Ferringo. Mr. Fantastic is Reed Richards.
Lou Reed - Walk On The Wild Side
Sampled in...
A Tribe Called Quest - Can We Kick It?
2. CC + Drake, Lowe, Berry.
CC is our own Stevie. The rest are Nicks.
Stevie Nicks - Edge Of Seventeen
Sampled in...
Destiny’s Child – Bootylicious
1. Rocky and his brood...but not all of them.
Rocky was Sly Stallone. Take all from Stallone and you have Stone.
Sly & The Family Stone - Into My Own Thing
Sampled in...
Fatboy Slim - Weapon Of Choice
Any excuse to watch this video again...
Friday, 19 September 2025
Emergency Questions #13: Conspiracy Theory
Another conversation starter from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions...
Which conspiracy theory do you think might actually be true?
Rich thinks Paul McCartney really was replaced by a lookalike in the late 60s. You may well agree with him, but I'd argue that the replacement was far more interesting in that case.
These days, conspiracy theories get rather a bad rep. I blame the internet and all the right-wing loonies who have ruined the good old conspiracy theory for everyone. I used to love a good conspiracy theory... nowadays, I'm more likely to keep that to myself in case people think I'm a Trump supporter.
The Black Crowes - A Conspiracy
Steve Earle - Conspiracy Theory
Jimmy Buffett - Peanut Butter Conspiracy
Peanut Butter Conspiracy - No Communication
But if I had to choose a conspiracy theory that I still feels needs further investigation... despite all the (redacted) files that have been released in the intervening years, I would go for the JFK assassination every time.
Lou Reed - The Day John Kennedy Died
Look, I know the Oliver Stone movie was a bit dubious in places, but there were still far more questions than answers. Do I really believe Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone gunman? What about the shots from the grassy knoll? Why did Jack Ruby kill him before he could be properly interrogated?
The Fall - Oswald Defence Lawyer
Camper Van Beethoven - Jack Ruby
Snow Patrol - Last Ever Lone Gunman
Come on... the guy was a Patsy! Even the Manic Street Preachers think so...
Sunday, 23 February 2025
Snapshots #384: Twelve Capital City Songs
12. Part Mull Historical Society, part Travis, part Box Tops.
Mull Historical Society, part Travis, part Box Tops.
This means nothing to me.
11. Third new home for Judge Dredd.
Judge Dredd lives in Mega City One. His first new home would be Mega City Two. His second would be Mega City Three. His third would be...
10. Blokes who missed the bus.
9. Chemistry or Biology?
8. They don't look a day over fifty.
7. Finished his job in 6 days, then had a rest.
6. Rude Leo in another crazy outburst.
"Rude Leo" was an anagram...
5. Britten's small oranges.
Benjamin Britten loved his clementines.
4. Like Jones, in the rain.
Oran Juice Jones like walking in The Rain.
3. South African footballers.
2. There's zero reggae at his jumble sale.
"Zero reggae", unjumbled, gives us...
1. The Highlands, by foot.
A nice place to be a walker, if you're a Scot.
Scott Walker - Copenhagen
I had one more on the list, which I didn't use because they appeared here two weeks ago, and because I'm triskaidekaphobic.
More of this nonsense next week.
Wednesday, 15 November 2023
Self-Help For Cynics #13: Mentalising Cyclists
In last week’s post, I mentioned my frequently expressed
hatred of Audi drivers. Martin responded that he used to drive an Audi. Don’t
worry, Martin, we all did things we regret in our younger days. It’s good that
you can own your past transgressions, that you now see the error of your ways,
and I’m sure you’ve spent the time since making up for it – being kind to small
animals, giving more to charity, occasionally letting other drivers have their
right of way.
My reply to Martin was rather flippant, I’m afraid, and I feel I should apologise for that. I said, “And you’re also a cyclist! And yet, I still like you. So you must be doing something right.”
I need to make it clear that I
don’t put cyclists in the same bracket as Audi drivers. Not all cyclists are
bad, but I do reserve a particular disdain for the selfish and arrogant ones,
usually MAMILs, who believe their hobby / exercise routine trumps the rights
and priorities of all other road users. There are times I feel like setting up
a desk in the middle of a cycle lane and writing my blog there, or taking the
ironing board out onto the Transpennine Cycle Trail and standing smack dab in
the middle of it while I press the creases out of my smalls. But such behaviour
would be petty. Far better to manage my grievances through mentalisation.
Missing Persons - Mental Hopscotch
On the first week of my new job, just over two years ago, I
attended a course that introduced me to the concept of mentalisation. It’s not
the best of words, since whenever I hear it, I immediately think of Alan Partridge running away from his obsessive fan, or else I conjure up an image of this guy…
Mentalisation has nothing to do with either of those weird cultural reference points. Science Direct tells us…
“Mentalisation is the ability to think about states of mind (e.g., thoughts, feelings, intentions) in the self and other people.”
Mentalisation is used a lot in therapy, but it’s also encouraged for
teachers, business people, anyone who might find themselves in a situation of
conflict with another person who appears to have opposing views, plans or
wishes to yourself.
Lou Reed - How Do You Think It Feels?
The idea is similar to empathy, but empathy that you think about
and apply to a situation, rather than empathy that comes naturally. A quick
word on the difference between empathy and sympathy, since it’s something I get
asked a lot by students...
A friend of yours tells you what a bad time they’re having since they lost a loved one. You can sympathise as above, without really feeling their pain. Or you can empathise, because you care about them deeply, you knew the person they’ve lost, or because it reminds you of a loss you yourself suffered.
The other different between empathy and sympathy is that you can have empathy for positive emotions. Sympathy's all about the negative, "feeling sorry" for someone.
Parquet Courts - Sympathy for Life
OK, mentalisation isn’t quite the same as either of those
things. It’s more cold and logical. It’s the Mr. Spock version of empathy. It asks
you to carefully assess the actions of another, to try to appreciate why they’re
acting the way they are, thereby controlling your own reaction to it.
Charley Pryde - Hope You're Feelin' Me (Like I'm Feelin' You)
Imagine you’re going into a difficult business meeting with
someone you know has very different goals and objectives to you. If you think
beforehand about their aims and intentions, try to understand where they’re
coming from, then you’re less likely to get pissed off when they refuse to play
ball with your plans, and you might be more willing to find a compromise that
suits everybody.
As a teacher, it’s useful to try mentalising my students. Why is little Timmy throwing his chair through the window? What’s he got going on in his life, at home or elsewhere in school? Is it a cry for help? Or did he just have George's Maths lesson the period before mine?
Elvis Presley - How Do You Think I Feel?
Let’s try and apply mentalisation to my frustration at being stuck
behind a cyclist on a narrow country lane. At five miles an hour in first gear up a steep Yorkshire hillside.
With no passing places until you get right to the top. And I’m in a rush,
because I’m late to pick Sam up from the school because the traffic has been
really bad tonight.
Drive-By Truckers - Slow Ride Argument
If I concentrate my thoughts on me in this situation – my goals,
my annoyance, how I wouldn’t have the audacity to keep on riding my bike in
this situation if there was a queue of ten cars behind me – I’m just going to get more wound up.
Drive-By Argument - Cyclists Run Red Lights
Instead, let’s try to mentalise that cyclist. Maybe he had a heart attack last year and his doctor told him cycling is the best exercise if he wants to see the other side of 60? Maybe his wife left him a few months back and cycling is the only thing that takes his mind off his loneliness? Maybe he’s in training for a charity bike ride to earn enough money to fly his young son to the States for an experimental medical procedure that might save the boy's life?
Now, admittedly, this is speculative mentalisation, since
I’ll never know the truth, and likely none of them come anywhere near the truth
(and maybe the truth is, that cyclist really doesn’t give a shit about anybody
else on the road since they’re completely devoid of empathy or the ability to
mentalise the needs of others; i.e. maybe they’re also an Audi driver), but it’s
the process that matters. It’s certainly healthier to try to mentalise
in this situation. And anger
is pointless, apparently. But we’ll get back to that another time. The main thing is to try to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes. These songs, from the perspective of cyclists, help me feel the other side of the story...
Half Man Half Biscuit - See That My Bike's Kept Clean
(And of course, I can't resist the urge to quote well-known rock-cyclist Nigel Blackwell one more time... "Too many psychopaths. Not enough cycle paths.")
If none of that works, maybe I can try to imagine that
cyclist is a friend of mine. What if it's Martin? If I imagine that, then I know he’s
not doing this out of malicious intent, he’s just doing what he needs to do. If
I imagine it’s someone I know, someone I like and respect, then suddenly I
feel far less animosity towards them, because I know they're not doing it on purpose just to piss me off. (To be fair, some of my friends would do it on purpose just to piss me off, but that's OK when it's your friends.) Suddenly it becomes much easier to mentalise
them. There’s probably a psychological name for doing this, but I haven’t come
across it yet. I’m no expert, just a layman trying to make sense of
it all to help myself.
I take a few steps back to gain perspective, perspective,
And kid myself that I can be objective, objective
Thursday, 28 September 2023
Neverending Top Ten #6.4: Modern Songs
What are you doing at the party, Sam?
Karaoke.
Yeah? What are you going to sing?
Some of my favourite songs that are modern and you won't know.
Huh. You want modern songs? I'll give you modern songs, son. Look, I made you a CD!
Boomtown Rats - She's So Modern
Idlewild - A Modern Way Of Letting Go
Neil Diamond -A Modern Day Version Of Love
Ben Kyle & Romantica - How to Live in a Modern World
Terry, Blair & Anouchka - Ultra Modern Nursery Rhyme
Jesse Malin - In The Modern World
Daryl Hall & John Oates - Method of Modern Love
Charm School – Excerpts from the Modern Song
The Humdrum Express - The Curse Of The Modern Musician
Belle and Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song
Jefferson Starship - Modern Times
Actually, wait, seriously... here's a song that was only released last week. You don't get more modern than that, do you?
Bleachers are from New Jersey. They're the brainchild of guitarist and producer Jack Antanoff, who used to be in Fun. They have featured here before, but this is their latest single, and it's pretty damned good for a modern pop song... even though it does harken back to the 70s and 80s, like most of their stuff.
Friday, 14 April 2023
Product Placement Friday #9: Cadbury's Creme Egg
I know, I should have done this one last Friday. Give me a break. You're lucky I still know what year it is. (1997, right?) Anyway, the Cadbury's Creme Egg... too sweet for me these days, but I was a fan in my younger years. Sam has become rather obsessed with Creme Eggs recently due to a promotional gimmick where if you find one that's half white chocolate and don't eat it, you can win ten billion pounds. Or something. Onto the tunes...
Ten double-A batteries? (Just a pound!)
Some rubbish CDs? (Just a pound!)
Fifty wooden pegs? (Just a pound!)
Three Cadbury's Creme Eggs? (Just a pound!)
A slotted spoon? (Just a pound!)
A big pack of balloons? (Just a pound!)
A cleaning mitt? (Just a pound!)
A nasal hair removal kit!
Wednesday, 26 October 2022
Celebrity Jukebox #45: Cary Grant (Part 2)
Film critic Pauline Kael said of Cary Grant that "men wanted to be him
and women dreamed of dating him". The actor’s typically self-deprecating response
to this was, "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant—even I want to be Cary
Grant". It seems Cary Grant was a screen persona that Archibald Leach
became increasingly comfortable playing in real life as the years went by... with
a sly wink and an arched eyebrow.
Lyrical references to Mr. Grant broadly fall into four
categories then.
1. Men want to be him.
2. Women want to be with him.
3. A combination of the two.
4. None of the above.
Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?
1. Men Want To Be Cary Grant
Bill Boyan – The Kind of Man I Wanna Be
My baby’s kind of fond of Cary Grant
I tried to act like him, but I just can’t
And I don’t need my name on some marquee
But that’s the kind of man I wanna be
It’s systematic
Some say I look like Cary Grant
It’s systematic
I’ll kiss you baby ‘til I can’t
Allan Sherman – Shticks Of One and Half a Dozen of the Other
All day, all night, Cary Grant
That’s all I hear from my wife, is Cary Grant
What can he do that I can’t?
Big deal, big star, Cary Grant
Allan Sherman seems to have come back from Camp Granada rather
obsessed with Cary Grant. He mentions him in three or four other songs too. Go
find them yourselves though, I’ve done enough for you this week.
Meanwhile, over in France...
Elle se serre tout contre moi
Je me crois au cinema
Je me prends pour Cary Grant
Et puis on eteint la lampe
Which roughly translates as…
She hugs me tight
I believe myself in the cinema
I take myself for Cary Grant
And then we turn off the lamp
Finally in this category, we have Ray Davies, so enamoured
of Cary that he’s going to use him to create an artificial man.
Tell it to the people all across the land
We’re going to build an artificial man
With the physique of a Tarzan
And the profile of Cary Grant
Superior beings being totally made by hand
Throw out imperfection
Mould you section by section
Gonna make you the ultimate creation
2. Women Want To Be With Cary Grant
Peggy Lee – I Love Being Here With You
And Cary Grant, oh-do-dah-day
His utter charm takes me away
But don’t get me wrong
How do you say?
I love being here with you
That's a belter.
When it comes to what a woman needs
You ain’t no Cary Grant
Ich warte auf das Happy-End
Arm in arm mit Cary Grant – alles klar!
You can probably translate that one yourself. Good to know
Nena wasn’t just about the balloons and the nuclear war though.
Deborah Conway – It’s Only The Beginning
When we go walking along the river
Watch the old men fishing the sunny side of the pier
It’s like a movie and you’re my leading man
The way you woo me, just like Cary Grant
We need more videos set on golf courses.
Your talk you learned from great actors
The classics, the best
Your fancy yourself Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant
Can I hear you? Yes, I can
But you’re not making any sense
Hollis Brown – Death of an Actress
As Madam Faye, you won the role
You even danced with Cary Grant,
And you loved your fame
3. Men & Women Who Both Want A Bit Of Cary
Good Charlotte – Silver Screen Romance
You’re my Bette Davis
I’m your Cary Grant
Let’s make love all night
Don’t get up at the prohibition
I'm not sure why you'd need to get up at prohibition, but what do I know about metaphors?
Alphaville – Sounds Like A Melody
We need the ecstasy, the jealousy
The comedy of love
Like the Cary Grants and Kellys once before
Turns out they weren't just big in Japan.
Meanwhile, big in Germany...
Yvonne Catterfeld - Ganz großes Kino
Ich bin nicht Marilyn
Du bist nicht Cary Grant
I’m not going to insult your intelligence by translating
that one either.
I fell in love with the girl on the screen
Just me and Kate
For two hours tonight
We’ll orbit the earth like a satellite
I’m Cary Grant
She’s Sophia Loren
Television Personalities – Don’t Cry, Baby, It’s Only AMovie
You can be my Audrey Hepburn
I’ll be Cary Grant
4. None of the above
There’s Crawford, Davis and a tacky Cary Grant
And some homeboys lookin’ for trouble
Down here from the Bronx
That’s from New York, my favourite Lou Reed solo album. Though I'm not sure Grant rhymes with Bronx, Lou.
Next, a track from a lockdown-recorded Americana album
released just last year…
A dozen roses on the table
Wither in a week or two at most
From Cary Grant to Clark Gable
Every rose gives up the ghost
And here’s another lockdown song, from a singer who should
not be confused with the Free and Bad Company bloke, because he had a ‘d’ in
his name. Anyway, this Paul learned a lot during the pandemic...
Did you know that Cary Grant never won an Oscar?
And Paul McCartney wrote “The Fool On The Hill” alone?
I seen people playing poker, making million dollar bets
I’ve seen rednecks raising tigers just for pets
It’s a fact that Cary Grant never won an Oscar for any one
film, only receiving an honorary award after he’d retired from acting in the
late 60s. Which, frankly, is a scandal. As to The Fool On The Hill, I'll let Alyson tell you more about that.
Next up, Marlon Brando’s favourite band…
The Godfathers – If I Only Had Time
Today a new sun rises
Look in the mirror, there’s no surprises
Things ain’t what they used to be
Cary Grant’s on LSD
Doctors began treating Cary Grant with LSD in the late 50s
in an effort to “make him feel better about himself and rid of all of his inner
turmoil stemming from his childhood and his failed relationships”. And you
think you’ve got it bad. In later years, he world remark, “taking LSD was an
utterly foolish thing to do, but I was a self-opinionated boor, hiding all
kinds of layers and defences, hypocrisy and vanity.” In my head, I can hear him
saying that.
Punk from the other side of the pond now, though they sound like The Pogues...
The Swinging Utters – Playboys, Punks & Pretty Things
“A penny for your thoughts,” he says
As he swiftly slips from bed to bed
And the thoughtful ones are charmed by him
And the sexy ones turned on by him
And he’s knighted by Casanova’s kin
And his ladies would never turn on him
‘Cause he’s the Cary Grant of the party kings
And the playboy of your wildest dreams
Followed that with a great band name – Highly Suspect. This
song has an opening line deserving of the Misanthropes’ Hall of Fame, but it
settles down after that…
I wish that everyone I knew was dead
So that I’d never have to pick up the phone
We all have days like that.
I’m gonna move to California
I’m gonna melt into the sand
Slow dance with Elizabeth Taylor and Audrey
Bum a cigarette from Cary Grant
Nearing the end now, you’ll be glad to know.
Here’s Pete McCabe, who's having an argument with his wife about
all the junk he keeps in his bedside drawers that she wants him to throw out…
Pete McCabe – The Drawers Song
There's a Cary Grant obituary looking just like me
An eight track tape that taught me we all got to be free
Birthdays cards and get well cards and playing cards, no joker
Books on Greek Philosophy and how to win at Poker
An urn that holds the ashes of my guinea pig, Alfredo
A classic meatball sandwich topped with sweet heirloom tomato
And a penultimate word from our favourite Star Wars fanboy “Geek Rock”
band Nerf Herder…
Celebrities, they come and go
One day you’re Cary Grant
And the next you’re Scott Baio
Note so self: got to do a Scott Baio entry here very soon.
However, I think my favourite tune today comes from a band
I’d rather forgotten about. Luna were the brainchild of former Galaxie 500
frontman Dean Wareham. Rolling Stone called them “the best band you’ve never
heard of”…
And at the weekly meeting of anonymous cads
You shuffle your feet and whistle out loud
Listen to what they’re saying – what a load of crap!
You ain’t no Cary Grant
But then again, who is?







































