We were lucky that Sam and I had misaligned holidays this Easter, so while he's back at school this week, I'm still off... allowing Louise and I the rare luxury of getting away to the Peak District for a couple of days peace and quiet. (Sam is being looked after by appropriate adults, in case you're on the phone to Child Services.)
So this is what passes for our Honeymoon. Appropriate (and inappropriate) tunes will follow...
I thought this would a quick one, but they rarely are.
In 1962, the "Singing Ranger" Hank Snow (originally from Canada) had a huge country hit in which he listed all the places in North America that he'd supposedly visited...
I had a sequel in mind for this tune, but what I didn't realise was that Hank's version was a sequel in its own right.
The tune was originally written by Australian country singer, songwriter and aircraft mechanic, Geoff Mack. The Aussie hit version was recorded by Lucky Starr...
Lucky Starr also recorded a UK version, and I'm pleased to note that he had visited Huddersfield. This particular sequel was also recorded by some bloke we won't mention because he died in jail, leaving a black mark on all our childhoods...
However, none of these is the sequel I had in mind when I planned this post. No, that one circles back to the man most famous for recording I've Been Everywhere (unless you count Johnny Cash's version, backed by Tom Petty's Heartbreakers): Hank Snow.
In 1970, Hank recorded a new version of the song... in which it appears he'd rather changed his mind.
And one more, in a similar vein, recorded during lockdown when all our options were limited. This should bring back a few memories...
It's that time of the week again. Time for me to hand over the blog to one of you lot. And you'll never guess who it is this week... Hold onto your hats, because here comes George... and he's found Jesus!
Rol put the call out for a guest posting………... and the poor sod got a response from me. So here goes with a Top Ten Jesus tracks, and it’s not ten gospel tracks, but ten tracks that have the word “Jesus” in the title.
Speaking of Jesus, there is a famous (in Portugal and now Brazil) football coach called Jorge Jesus. He was a successful manager of Benfica, then tried to win the league with Sporting but just couldn’t do it, and is now manager of Flamengo in Brazil. He has become a legend there, winning the championship and the Copa de Libertadores, the first time Flamengo had won it since 1981. This latter feat resulted in the phrase “the pope might be Argentinian but Jesus is Portuguese”.
My abiding memory of this comes from 1996, sitting in the back of a Vauxhall Cavalier, five of us in the car, no aircon, boiling hot, and we are barrelling along a french motorway at 150km/h. I can’t remember if my legs were sticking out the sunroof or if it was Charity Chic’s hairy pins, and this song belting out the car CD player.
First gospel track, a glorious epic praise-the-lord song, with a rawer Sam Cooke vocal than can be heard on his later, solo, soul-pop songs. This a live performance, so it has more feeling and less polish than the studio recording (which in itself is well worth listening to, repeatedly).
And this is meant to be a Top Ten, so to omit this would be idiotically perverse, and that’s not my way. Oh No!
3. Johnny Cash - Personal Jesus
The Depeche Mode original is not exactly a poor song but Johnny Cash’s version is fantastic.
There’s a 5cd set called The Boddie Recording Company, who were based in Cleveland (Ohio not England). One of the set is a gospel collection, called Bounty:
4. The Fantastic Lightning Ares - Jesus You Are My Shining Star
Every recording is slightly amateurish, raw, ramshackle, and it’s a great collection!
Time for something a few might find a frustratingly repetitive stoppy-starty blast from Big Stick on Blast First records:
5. Big Stick - Jesus Was Born (on an Indian Reservation)
And now a rather typical 1950s gospel song from a fine collection on Ace records called The Best Of Nashboro Gospel:
6. The Angelic Gospel SIngers - Touch Me, Lord Jesus
Nick Cave could have been included twice, but I’m rejecting the track on Kicking Against The Pricks, a cover of an old gospel song, for this from Dig Lazarus Dig!!!
7. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Jesus of the Moon
And from my favourite German record label, Trikont, and the album OVERCOME! Volume 2, Sanctified Soul And Holy Gospel is a more modern gospel song. Well, from the 1971:
8. The Rance Allen Group - Hotline to Jesus
This is not exactly a lyrical masterpiece, but there’s a lovely yet despairing quality to its simplicity:
9. The Velvet Underground - Jesus
Best ‘til last.
The luscious introduction suggests you are in for a treat and man alive you are: Al Green’s sublime vocal, that beautiful understated brief musical interlude at 1 min 50 seconds, the call-and-response section, and of course it is so well-made and produced, you just never want it to end ; it all makes one of my favourite songs of all time.
10. Al Green - Jesus Is Waiting
As a bonus, here’s a great scene from the Jesus Christ Superstar film, but after playing it be careful of where you sing the refrain “MUST DIE, MUST DIE, this Jesus must die”. Well, I think it’s a great scene, some might think it rather preposterous, but it’s certainly worth a look:
No Billy Joel, no Huey Lewis. And I did a search to see if they had a relevant song, if only to exclude them anyway. And thanks to Rol for hosting this piece.
No, thank you, George. I knew I could rely on you for a cracking selection of tune, but you outdid yourself there. Some belters. All with download links too - you'll make a proper music blogger of me yet (or get me arrested). I couldn't find any Billy or Huey either, but this one leapt right out at me...
Now if you're reading this and thinking "Why didn't George include...!?!", well, you know what to do! Rigid Digit's Booze Top Ten last week has already inspired one of you to compose your own Booze Top Ten (which will hopefully feature here soon), but if you think you've got another ten Jesus songs that could beat George's (pretty tough task, to be fair), then feel free to write me a post. The doors to Guest Post Thursday are always open. I'm hoping George will make a return visit very soon, and we're all hoping for another one of Lynchie's showbiz stories. In the meantime... you know where I am. Let's keep this running and running...
You know that it would be untrue. You know that I would be a liar. If I were to say to you... I can't remember the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots. Although, I did have to puzzle over some of them myself this week: I blame to post-viral lethargy. Or maybe they were particularly fiendish.
Mathematics proves impossible when your head is full of gunge, so I can't work out a winner this week, though everyone had a good go. Thanks for playing as always.
10. Pork from the top of the world leads you into a talent competition.
8. Climbing beanstalks after 10 leads to a sad, horny godson.
After 10 is 11, so that would make him Jack 11. If you're going to tell me it's pronounced Lee-ven, I'm going to say: it's a visual pun, not an auditory one.
4. Sweet on your tongue, a dancing football chant.
At football matches they (apparently) shout "Oggy Oggy Oggy". This is one of the many reasons I do not attend football matches.
The extra clue I gave involved a line from Smokey Robinson's I Second That Emotion, in which Smokey sings "A taste of honey is worse than none at all".
Solipsistic gangsters would say "I Am The Mob" since they would believe that only the self exists and thereby not believe in any other gangsters. Which then begs the question why they would need to be gangsters in the first place, and that is today's homework.
Anyway, if they couldn't wake up, they may be catatonic.
Ah, Cerys, were we ever that young?
This Is The End, Beautiful Friend... at least until next Saturday.
Because it's been snowing this week. Round these part, anyway. And, as usual, people have been acting like it's the end of the world...
The only rule for this one was that I couldn't have any Christmas songs. For obvious reasons. Hence, no matter how good a song 'Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow' might be... it's not getting in.
Having grown up on a farm and seen the after-effects of a fox in a chicken house, I shouldn't have much sympathy for the animals. But I do. Besides, Stuart Murdoch could make me shed a tear for even the most hateful of creatures: that's just his gift. One day he'll write a song about Tom Hanks or Michael McIntyre and all will be forgiven...
9. Shirley Lee - The First Time You Saw Snow
I make no apologies for featuring two Shirley Lee records in the space of two Top Tens, even if most of you have never heard of him. Sadly this one has disappeared from its original online source, but I'm sure you can hear it somewhere if you search hard enough. It's worth the effort!
All through this short life we give of ourselves
Giving and giving and slowly diminishing
Leaving a mark that will gradually fade
Ash in the breeze, snowballs in negative
Not only is this a beautiful song, but Anne Murray was also once the world's best female celebrity golfer. Elvis's version is pretty good, but he was rubbish with a golf club.
1. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow
Nick goes all Mike Oldfield on our snowy ass. Chilling... in every sense of the word.
I waved to my neighbour
My neighbour waved to me
But my neighbour
Is my enemy
I kept waving my arms
Till I could not see
Under fifteen feet of pure white snow
Those were my snowy songs... which one gets you all flakey?
At last, the fourth issue of my comic Too Much Sex & Violence is out! (Should you be at all interested, you can buy it here.)
Way back through the mists of time when I published issue #3, I marked the occasion by compiling My Top Ten Sex Songs and My Top Ten Sexy Songs. At the time, I promised to complete that particular ménage à trois...but I'm afraid I've been a bit of a tease, haven't I? Hopefully you've not lost your appetite for this...
I'm jealous of the dangling men
You know you'll never go to bed with
I've felt the fire that fires them
I've known the unrequited love it's fed with
And I don't believe in Platonic love
But I'm still jealous of Plato
What a bore!
A Complete History of Sexual Jealousy Parts 17 to 24
Would have been Number One if it wasn't for a steward's enquiry. Any song that begins thus...
Baby, I'm hot just like an oven I need some lovin'
...deserves your respect and admiration.
Radio stations put the S-word in brackets, in case it upset impressionable listeners. BBC DJs at the time of its release were only allowed to call it 'Healing'.
1. Billy Bragg - Sexuality
It was almost too close to call, but how could I relegate Billy's finest pop moment (with a little help from Johnny Marr, Kirsty MacColl and Phil Jupitus) into second place? So many great lines, it's hard to pick a favourite...
I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
I feel a total jerk before your naked body of work
Those were my sexual secrets... but which one gets you in the mood?
