Sam started High School on Tuesday. It's easy to forget what a big leap this is, but early signs are good. He's catching the bus to and from school, so I'm no longer required to pick him up and drop him off from wraparound club. Seeing him in his uniform that first day rather choked me up - so big, so grown up, what happened to my little boy, etc. etc.
Sam appears to be taking it all in his stride. He's very resilient young man. He certainly doesn't get that from his dad. I hope he has a better time in High School than I did.
After writing over a hundred posts dealing with what we laughingly call the "Mid-Life Crisis", it occurred to me that at no point have I addressed the clichés of the male mid-life crisis - specifically getting yourself a sports car (and a hairpiece) and dressing in an unfashionably fashionable style to enable you to chase younger women. Or, as Jerry Lee put it...
Today he traded his big 98 Oldsmobile
He got a heck of a deal
On a new Porsche car
He ain't wearing his usual grey business suit
He's got jeans and high boots
With an embroidered star
An' today he's forty years old going on twenty
Don't look for the grey in his hair
'Cause he ain't got any
He's got a young thing beside him
That just melts in his hand
He's middle aged crazy
Trying to prove he still can
He's gotta a woman he's loved for a long long time at home
Ah but the thrill is all gone
When they cut down the lights
They've got a business that they spent a while coming by
Been a long uphill climb
But now the profits are high
But today he's forty years old going on twenty
And he hears of sordid affairs and he ain't had any
And the young thing beside him
You know she understands
That he's middle aged crazy
Trying to prove he still can
Where do I begin?
Would I ever want to own a Porsche or any other expensive, high-powered automobile?
No. I'm not interested in driving faster than everybody else on the road or in collecting the associated speeding tickets. I don't want to become a target for car thieves or boyracers who fancy a challenge. And I've never liked the idea of drawing attention to myself. See also personalised registration plates.
Am I about to start dressing ostentatiously in clothes that are far too young for me?
No. Although I will continue to buy T-shirts with obscure movie, TV and music references on them that will only be understood by about 1% of the people I meet. Despite what Mark Radcliffe believes, that men over a certain age should only wear plain T-shirts. That's just dull, Mark. Maybe I'll even get one of these, to celebrate the detente...
As to the idea of chasing after younger women... besides the fact that Louise would kill me, after chopping up various parts of my anatomy for dog food... I'm sorry, why would I want to be with someone who constantly reminded me of how old and knackered I am? At least when you're with someone your own age, you can be old and knackered together.
With all that in mind, I think I'll pass on the clichés of the male mid-life crisis, after noting with some chagrin the final verse of Jerry's ode in which he identifies the star of his story as being "forty years old going on twenty"... ah, to be forty again!
Let's close with a song that perfectly encapsulates the dangers of succumbing to the MMLC, from a band many of you won't like because they're funny. Humour plus music? How dare they? The debut album from Wolves of Glendale is out now...
I drove to Birmingham last week for a teaching conference. The journey down on Thursday night was pretty uneventful, if you ignore the M42, a jumped up dual carriageway which thinks its a motorway but only has two lanes, even though everybody drives as if there were three. I made it down in two and a half hours, spent the night in a wonderfully Fawlty Towers-esque hotel, and then headed off to the conference which was a very useful and engaging day.
However, I arrived in Birmingham about the same time as Storm Babet. I'm not sure there were any rooms left in the hotel for her, so she raised merry hell for the rest of the night and throughout the following day. My journey home then, took seven and a half hours rather than two and a half, and culminated in a lengthy period sitting on the edge of a hillside in Glossop with a flat tyre, waiting for someone to come and fix it. The RAC told me the waiting time was 5 hours, so I called a local mobile tyre guy who was able to get there in just an hour and a half. When he finally arrived, his headlights revealed that I'd also lost a number plate while driving through one of the many road-swamping rivers I'd had to ford as part of my journey. If only cars still came with spare tyres, like they used to... but don't start me on that.
Altogether, I think I listened to my entire in-car memory stick during those journeys, which is made up of a mix of current albums I'm into (The Hold Steady, Jenny Lewis, The Handsome Family, Laura Cantrell, BC Camplight, Jim Bob, Lloyd Cole et al.), and some older wonders (most notably the first disc in Cherry Red's excellent Where Were You? compilation). To keep me sane while I waited for the recovery guy though, I needed a little more. So I put on a recent edition of the Mickey Bradley Record Show on BBC Radio Ulster (available on BBC Sounds, should you have the time and the inclination). Mickey Undertone always plays a great selection, mixing punk and new wave with classic soul, pop and folk plus a bunch of new stuff that fits well with the old. He may even have overtaken Natasha Raskin-Sharp on BBC Radio Scotland as my favourite radio show at the moment (but don't tell Natasha, she's still delivering the goods). Anyway, here's a few of the tunes Mickey played that kept me going while I waited for a new tyre...
It struck me that I haven’t yet marked the passing of the last of the original rock n rollers, Jerry Lee Lewis. Chuck, Buddy, Gene, Eddie, Elvis… all the rest are long gone. Some died very young (I often find myself wondering what Buddy Holly would have done next), but only Jerry Lee got to really grow old disgracefully. A controversial figure, to be sure, but there’s no denying the power of his music.
For songs that mention Jerry Lee by name, we need look no further than Jerry Lee himself. Here are just a few…
Well, I’ve took enough pills for big Memphis town Ol’ Jerry Lee's drank enough whiskey to lift any ship off the ground I’ll be the first to admit Sure do wish these people would quit it You know it’s tough enough To straighten up When these idiots won’t leave you alone Jerry Lee Lewis’s life would make a damned good country song
Jerry Lee is going to spend his vacation in Heaven With loved ones gone on before Jerry Lee It’ll be Jesus, my saviour Forever and ever Please spend your vacation with me
See? He’s not really gone. Just taking an extended vacation.
What about other songwriters? What do they have to say about Jerry Lee?
He digs Jerry Lee Lewis, Dion and The Belmonts, And Johnny and The Hurricanes.
In case you’re keeping score, Johnny Paris died in 2006. Dion DiMucci, on the other hand, is still with us. I guess he might be the last man standing now. (Unless we count Willie Nelson, 6 years older than Dion and still going strong.)
The late Ian Dury also placed Jerry Lee in some very fine company…
From Rosemary Clooney to Jerry Lee Lewis From Debussy to Thelonious Monk It’s the modern art of the human heart The shape of things to funk, funk, funk
And here’s a song that name-drops everyone from Creedence to Otis to Missy Elliott to Korn. Chances are this one will pop up again.
Jerry Lee Lewis had a child bride Only thirteen, but he said he's justified
Indie rocker Ike Reilly writes lyrics more suited to a rap song, but though he’s been described as “rude, crude and lewd”, he also has something to say, and does so in quite a clever way.
Chuck Berry, Cadillac, Ludacris, Cadillac Jerry Lee Lewis with his balls on fire In the back of a Rocket 88 With an out-of-state plate and an underage date Cars and girls and drinks and songs Leave that shit in the middle of the road What about love and what about trust?
And that’s not the only trouble Jerry Lee got into. Remember the time he shot his bass player? (It was an accident, apparently, but he still got sued.)
"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world So there was only one thing that I could do Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"
Then again, you could argue that’s what made him interesting! More interesting than a lot of young rock stars these days…
But this is the song I chose to close with today. Because Frank Turner understands the spirit of rock n roll that Jerry embodied. And just like I do, Frank still believes…
And I still believe In the saints Yeah, in Jerry Lee and in Johnny And all the greats
It's Sunday morning. Whether you spent Saturday night Chasing Pavements or Rolling In The Deep, chances are you were also wondering about the answers to Saturday Snapshots.
Well, wonder no more... here they are! Someone Like You probably scored ten out of ten... but the prize this week has to be split between Charity Chic and Walter but both managed to score a solid three points. Alyson was a valiant runner up. Well done, guys. One message to you all though, from The Stranger...
10. Emperor found in centre of loch.
Welcome along to new player, Ramone666, who correctly identified the band. As to the Emperor...
8. Too Loo, etc = devour them before they devour you!
It was an anagram!
I always like to ponder over which will be the first one answered each week. CC jumped straight in with this one yesterday, proving his superior knowledge of the Toto Coelo discography.
My hearing aid isn't that powerful. Then again, I reckon The Move might have been augmenting more than just their ears...
My head's attracted to A magnetic wave of sound With the streams of coloured circles Makin' their way around.
You may prefer the version by The Fall, of course. If you can make head or tail of it. I certainly can't. Everyone needs a hearing aid to understand Mark E. Smith's vocals.
1. The Beach Boys - I Can Hear Music It couldn't have been anything else at Number One, could it?
A Jeff Barry song, originally recorded by Phil Spector with The Ronettes, this was Carl Wilson's first taste of being the Beach Boys' boss while Brian was off being bored... or "listening to the grass grow". If anyone ever tells you Brian was the only genius in the Beach Boys, play them this...
What's your favourite hearing aid song?
I SAID "WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE HEARING AID SONG?!?"
My good friend Rob Wells has just had his first graphic novel published by Little Brown. It tells the uncomfortably hilarious story of his longtime fight with a variety of embarrassing ailments, and his struggle to find a member of the medical profession who would a) take him seriously and b) sort them out. It's a hugely entertaining read for anyone who's ever had an embarrassing illness and anyone who's ever tried in vain to find a sympathetic doctor. Or anyone who enjoys a witty tale about men's bits malfunctioning... and let's face it, who doesn't want to read that? (Squirm.) I'm really excited and pleased for Rob, having watched the project develop over a couple of years, seeing it accepted by a publisher, and finally getting my hands on a printed copy.
The shortest song on Love's eponymous debut album (but only one of them scraped past 3 minutes). As with most Arthur Lee songs, I have no idea what it's about. I suspect chemical assistance might be required...
I suspect this song might have also given its name to 70s Aussie rockers The Coloured Balls, but the interweb appears unable to confirm that for me.
So I went to New York City to see a doctor thinking maybe that he..
Would understand the state I was in.
He said: "I'd dearly love to help you son,
but you see the same thing's happened to me."
So now I'm home and I'm asking you just once more.
Please.
Oh can I have my balls back, please?
Can I have my balls back, please?
How am I gonna get through my life if you don't return them to me?
It appears that Amy Rigby can't help falling for bad boys. (Wonder if that's why she ended up with Wreckless Eric.)
You've got a lot of nerve to be calling here But I love your nerve You've got a lot of gall, you don't even care About me at all You've got a lot of balls, you don't even care Wish I could grow a pair...
1. Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls Of Fire
60 years old. Still as fresh and powerful as it ever was. Anyone who says the piano isn't a rock instrument hasn't ever listened to The Killer.
