Snapshots #442: Head & Face Songs

This is the actor Max Frewer, better known for playing the supposedly computer-generated TV presenter, Max Headroom. What a wonderful world it was when computer generated characters were actually played by real human beings... rather than the other way round. Sigh. Old man needs a lie down.

Here are some songs about different parts of the head and face...

15. Gale force: snorrrrre.

Storm-zzzzzzz.

Stormzy - Crown

14. Living in a powder keg and...

...giving off Sparks, sang Bonnie Tyler.

Sparks - Moustache

13. He's a delight... are you too?

A Sunny Delight... unlike that bloke out of U2.

Sonny Bono - Rub Your Nose

12. I can almost remember their funny faces.

Opening lyric to Jet by Wings.

Jet - Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

11. They won't make you happy.

The Upsetters - Dollar In The Teeth

10. Steinbeck... Shakespeare, Blake, Wordsworth. 

One John and three Williams.

John Williams - Theme From Jaws

9. H2O XYs.

Water plus the male chromosome...

The Waterboys - And A Bang On The Ear

8. ...Wilson and Diana...

Jackie Wilson & Diana Ross.

Jackie Ross - Keep Your Chin Up

7. George, Elaine, Dave, Linda... Marty.

Back To The Future fans won't have had a problem identifying the McFly family.

McFly - Five Colours In Her Hair

6. Mountain in Brazil... or Wales.

Sugarloaf - Tongue In Cheek

5. Lourdes, Estere and Stella.

Madonna has 6 children, 4 of whom are girls. Missing from the list above is Mercy. So they are...

The Sisters Of Mercy - Temple Of Love

4. It's messed up to call him a scaled shit.

With apologies to Sacha for the uncouth anagram...

Sacha Distel - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

3. Barry Norman said it best.

I used to love Barry Norman's film reviews, even though I rarely agreed with them. And why not?

And Why Not? - The Face

2. Pretty... Norma... Sensational band.

Pretty Polly... Norma Jean... Sensational Alex Harvey...

PJ Harvey - Written On The Forehead

1. Town where it's August all year long.

Summer-ville, of course!

Jimmy Somerville - Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)

Face up to more Snapshots next Saturday - and meet them head on!

Snapshots #229: A Top Ten Russian Songs

Regina Spektor was the most famous Russian celeb I could find holding a camera... or let's pretend it's a camera, for continuity's sake, eh? 

10. If Marilyn didn't shine...

Then she would be a matt (finish) Monroe.

Matt Monro - From Russia With Love 

9. Black Sea Peninsula.

The Crimea - White Russian Galaxy

8. Kirk.

My Scottish friends, that clue was just for you.

The Church - Russian Autumn Heart

7. These guys are pretty touchy.

Touchy-feely, that is.

The Feelies - Moscow Nights

6. Niiice fellows, led by a G-Man and a Bobby.

Kenny G + Bobby Ball =

Kenny Ball & his Jazzmen - Midnight In Moscow

5. He will be jollily smoking that cigar until he drives away.

I had to edit the registration plate yesterday... this isn't Billy's car, just a fan's who caught him and asked for a photo.

"Be jollily" was an anagram.

Billy Joel - Leningrad

Similar sentiment to the Sting song: but much less bollocks.

Of course, it's not called Leningrad anymore. These days, it's...

Supergrass - St. Petersburg

4. Lenient nuns.

The Sisters of Mercy - Dominion / Mother Russia

3. Gammon outrage as secret identity of new 007 is revealed!

"James Bond, a woman!" The red-faced OUTRAGE!!!

Jane Bond & The Undercovermen - Radio Moscow

2. Learn CPR in Centre Parcs. 

Learn CPR in Centre Parcs. 

Prince - Ronnie, Talk To Russia

Joe, talk to Russia.

1. In Rehab, eat less chocolate.

In Rehab, eat less chocolate.

Remember the good old days of the USSR?

More next week, as long as the world hasn't ended. Do svidaniya!

Cover Me Monday #14 - Corrosive Lambchop

Cover Me Monday was a regular feature on this blog, pre-lockdown... and then the world fell apart, and so did most of my regular features. Late last week, I stumbled across a classic forgotten cover version that made me want to resurrect the feature... particularly as it had stopped at #13, and I'm a bit superstitious that way. What if I caused the world to fall apart, just by stopping this feature at #13? (I realise that's a rather egocentric view of the world, but I have limited contact with anyone else at the moment... I'm starting to wonder if you're all just figments of my imagination.)

Anyway: Lambchop covering The Sisters of Mercy. From the bonus disc of their 2002 album Is A Woman. I'm sorry, this record can not be almost 20 years old. Where has my life gone?

First, here's the original, because I adore it. (Though I'm betting a few of you don't.)

The Sisters of Mercy produced by Jim Steinman. Like trying to put out a fire by pouring petrol in it. According to Andrew Eldritch, "I called Steinman and explained that we needed something that sounded like a disco party run by the Borgias. And that’s what we got."

Strip away that "disco party run by the Borgias" though, and you're still left with a top song. As Kurt Wagner reveals here...

And while we're on the subject, I'd be remiss if I didn't post this. It's as different from the two tracks above as can possibly be, but together they make up three sides of one very interesting triangle.

They don't throw him a parade

He just comes in on a train

One suitcase in his hand

And an old army backpack

From the second world war

From a Leipzig secondhand store

Pick the keys up from the agent

Everything's been taken care of

No big changes in the roadways

Since you've left that I'm aware of

A few old buildings gone to dust

And some new ones in the way

They'll look just like the old ones

When the winds have had their say

I do take issue with the "No big changes in the roadways" line though, since back in the late 80s, early 90s, I found it pretty easy to get around Leeds in a car. The inner loop is a Kafka-esque nightmare now though.

Saturday Snapshots #124 - The Answers

Faye hey - it's the answers!

Well done to C for getting up earlier than everybody else yesterday.


10. Thunder, and a westerly sunbeam, in chains.

Chain link + W ray...

Link Wray - Rumble

9. Flats, with external doors, down at the end of Lonely Street.

The Maisonettes - Heartbreak Avenue

8. Plaything brings sadness but longs for escape.

Toy... ah.

Toyah - I Want To Be Free

7. Global celebration in support of postmen.

World Party - Put The Message In The Box

6. Hey, O, 5xB... a brighter forecast.

Hey O BBBBB is an anagram.

Bobby Hebb - Sunny

Classic snare drum intro.

5. Not departed or gone, just rusting.

All the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone

They were waiting for me when I thought that I just can't go on

Sisters of Mercy - This Corrosion

Hey now... hey now now!

4. When Elvis gets Jolie, he takes Paracetamol.

Elvis Presley + Angelina Jolie...

Angaleena Presley - Pain Pills

3. God watches auctioneers prowl.

God watches us with the All Seeing Eye.

Christie's is a famous Auction House.

Panthers prowl.

The All Seeing I & Tony Christie - Walk Like A Panther

(Written by Jarvis Cocker... though that quickly becomes apparent.)

2. Tidy up where the snow flies, with celebrity soft cheese.

The snow flies In The Ghetto.

Philadelphia make soft cheese.

The Philadelphia International All Stars - Let's Clean Up The Ghetto

You can no longer depend on the man downtown...

1. Don't stop the traffic.

For knowing that someone in this world

Feels as desperate as me...

Dun(go)away - there'll be more Saturday Snapshots next week.

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #20: Andrew Eldritch Is Moving Back To Leeds

I've been rather taken with the latest album by The Mountain Goats recently, particularly the track Andrew Eldritch Is Moving Back To Leeds, a narrative which can be read in two different ways. On the one hand, the Sisters of Mercy frontman went to Leeds after studying at Oxford University... and it was while he was mucking about pretending to study Mandarin Chinese that he formed the band which would cement his place in the history books as a Goth king. (Although he's since rejected any claim to that particular genre, saying, "it's disappointing that so many people have in all seriousness adopted just one of our many one-week-of-stupid-clothes benders".)

But of course, Eldritch didn't stay in Leeds very long after his band took off. There's a sense in this song though that a return to your roots is something everyone contemplates once fame and fortune have had their way with you...

Nobody ever gets away

Even the best of us come back some day

To the unmarked rooms, where the dry dust breeds

Andrew Eldritch is moving back to Leeds

Not that this is something I have to worry about. You have to be a success before you can worry about crashing out and crawling home like that. And I guess you also have to move more than a mile down the road. After reading a recent interview with Eldritch, it doesn't seem like it's anything he needs to worry about either. The Sisters of Mercy are still touring and Eldritch appears to be doing pretty well living off the money he made before the music industry imploded. So why The Mountain Goats chose him as the subject of their sweet dissertation on growing old, I have no idea. But it's a great song title and a pretty cool tune to boot...

My Top Ten Walking Away Songs

Don't you just hate those people who introduce you to their record collections saying, "yes, I have a very eclectic taste in music"? Well, I'm gonna do just that this week. Sometimes these top tens come together with such a delightful blend of genres... I feel quietly proud of myself. And you should hear some of the songs I left out! Come on, allow me a little hubris for once... don't walk away just yet.

Special mention to Juliana Hatfield for her instructional album, How To Walk way.


10. Cast - Walkaway

I have a bit of a downer on Cast. Britpop-by-numbers, my abiding memory of the band is seeing them play live at a festival back in their fifteen minutes; the onstage electric went out and John Power piped up, comedy Scouse, "'Ey - 'ave we not paid the 'leccy meter?"

But this is a lovely little song despite my prejudices. And I still prefer them to Oasis.

9. The Zac Brown Band featuring Alan Jackson - As She's Walking Away

A song about falling in love with a girl at first sight and doing absolutely nothing about it. Because, as Elton once sang, it's easier to walk away.

Pretty much sums up my teenage years and most of my 20s. Sadly, I never had Alan Jackson to give me his neat-moustached advice.

8. Black Sabbath - Walk Away

And this is why they call it Classic Rock.

7. Franz Ferdinand - Walk Away

I love the sound of you walking away... 

...is a great kiss off, and there's more to come as Alex Kapranos nicks Morrissey's poison pen...

And as you walk away
My headstone crumbles down
As you walk away
The Hollywood winds will howl
As you walk away
The Kremlin's falling
As you walk away
Radio Four is static

One reason why FF are a fantastic foursome.

(And yeah, I almost went a week without mentioning the M word. Sorry.)

6. Sisters of Mercy - Walk Away

To appreciate this fully, you have to watch the video. Andrew Eldritch: sunglasses, hair, glittery dance... and a voice like Satan serenading sea lions.

5. The King Blues - Walking Away

I miss The King Blues since they split. I know Johnny Itch is still doing his own thing, but this band burned very brightly while they were around. Like Billy Bragg, they had two sides: the angry young men & women (angrier, at times, than Billy ever got) and the sweet-hearted romantics. This is firmly in the latter camp, a gorgeous little bus stop romance. Goes nicely as an accompaniment to my number #2 song this week.  

4. Tom Waits - Walk Away

From the soundtrack to the Sean Penn / Susan Sarandon film Dead Man Walking, it's time for Tom to walk away and start all over again. Nice and jaunty. (There's a word I'm not sure I ever typed before. It looks weird on the screen.)

3. ELO - Don't Walk Away

Classic Jeff Lynne orchestral melodrama, sounding more like the Bee Gees than the Beatles on this one.

2. Billy Bragg - Walk Away, Renee (version)

A version, but not a cover, though Billy does get Johnny Marr to strum the tune from our number one song while narrating a tender, touching and beautifully funny tale of first love left behind. So many great lines, I never tire of listening to this.

But all love is strange
And you have to learn to take the crunchy with the smooth, I suppose

She began going out with Mr. Potato Head
It was when I saw her in the car park
With his coat around her shoulders that I realised
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bathwater went cold around me
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And about the point where their bodies met
I confronted her about it
I said, "I'm the most illegible bachelor in town!" and she said "Yeah that's why I
could never understand any of those silly letters you sent me"

And then one day it happened
She cut her hair and I stopped loving her.

1. The Four Tops - Walk Away, Renee

The original version of this song, by The Left Banke, is a very fine record indeed. But it doesn't quite stop my heart in the same way Levi Stubbs' vocal does. This is heartbreak at its finest, pure and simple. One of Motown's greatest recordings... which makes it one of the best pop singles ever. No hyperbole.




Before you walk away... leave a comment, won't you?

My Top Ten Song Titles Bands Were Named After

Ten songs SO good... they named their bands after them. (And Victor Kiam bought the company.)



10. Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - Death Cab For Cutie

Why Ben Gibbard's alt-indie-occasionally emo band from Washington DC decided to name themselves after a bizarre Elvis spoof by Neil Innes and Viv Stanshall's psych-comedy 60s band from that London is anybody's guess. The title itself seems strangely apt - tragic beauty filtered through an everyday lens being Gibbard's lyrical stock in trade. But  then you listen to the actual song... which couldn't sound more different to the band DCFC if it was played solely on a Hawaiian nose-flute.

9. Tim Buckley - Starsailor

If you imagine Jeff's dad as the blueprint for a bunch of heartfelt indie romanticists led by Warrington's angelically voiced James Walsh, it sounds like a pretty good fit. Starsailor the song, however, is possibly the weirdest thing Buckley Sr. ever recorded. It's pretty far out there - certainly further out there than anything the Starsailor lads themselves have turned their minds to.

They should have called themselves Mojo Pin.

8. Leonard Cohen - Sisters of Mercy

Ah, Lenny, what a storyteller.

When I left they were sleeping, I hope you run into them soon.
Don't turn on the lights, you can read their address by the moon.
And you won't make me jealous if I hear that they sweetened your night:
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right,
We weren't lovers like that and besides it would still be all right.

Alternatively, don't turn on the lights because Andrew Eldritch is one scary melon farmer.

7. Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred

All hail Saint Bernard of Cribbins: he's still too sexy for his shirt, even at 85 years young.

6. Wings - Jet

The band named after this song were little to get excited about, but as much as I like to rib good old Sir Thumbs Aloft, this is still one of his finest post-Beatles moments.

If you don't believe me, ask Alan Partridge. (That clip sadly not available on youtube.)

5. Queen - Radio Gaga

I'd sit alone and watch your light
My only friend through teenage nights
And everything I had to know
I heard it on my radio

This song could pretty much be the story of my youth... and probably explains why I'm sat here at all hours of the night, after a long day at work, writing this blog now.

I'm guessing Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta must have had a very similar adolescence...(!)

4. Talking Heads - Radio Head

Here's David Byrne inspiring Thom Yorke...

The sound of a brand new world

If only Thom's band could record a record as joyously upbeat as the one that gave them their name... but I guess, if they did, they wouldn't be Radiohead.

3. Steely Dan - Deacon Blues

There was a time when you could reliably predict an appearance by either Morrissey, Bruce, Jarvis or Billy on this blog at least once a week. You might soon add Fagen & Becker to that list.

Drink scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama 'The Crimson Tide'
Call me 'Deacon Blues'!

Only a band with real Dignity could do justice to a name like that!

Steely Dan, of course, were named after one of William Burroughs' dildos. One day, I'll compile a list of bands named after dodgy sexual euphemisms... step forward 10cc and The Lovin' Spoonful. (Or did I blow my load with those two?)

2. David Bowie - The Kooks

It's not that long since I last featured this early Bowie classic, in my Top Ten Songs About Becoming A Parent. (Coincidentally, it made Number 2 in that list also.) The Brighton boys who took this name for their band never quite lived up to its potential... but that was a pretty tall order, so good on them for giving it a go.

1. The Smiths - Shakespeare's Sister

Another of Mozzer's playfully exuberant suicide anthems, with a cheeky nose-thumb to Billy Bragg thrown in...

I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A Protest Singer
Oh, I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible!

All of which led to some inspired pop-goth wonderment from a former Bananarama and Mrs. Dave Stewart way back in the Dawn of Time that was the early 90s. Of course, they misspelled Shakespear, but Big Willy was never too fussy over spelling anyway.

There are probably more bands named after Smiths or Morrissey lyrics than any other songwriter. See also Gene (Jeane), Panic! At the Disco, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Girl In A Coma, The Ordinary Boys (shudder!)...




All those song titles gave birth to stars. There's another Ten somewhere about bands named after lyrics (not titles) but we'll save those for another day. In the meantime, which one makes you want to change your name?

My Top Ten Reflection Songs

Sometimes these Top Tens are a challenge... but worth the effort if you stick with them.



10. Marilyn Manson - No Reflection


I'm not the world's biggest Marilyn Manson fan, but I like the fact that his real name is Brian... and he's made a career out of our #3 artist's old socks.

9. The Selecter - Red Reflections

Pauline Black thinks that if loneliness were a colour, it'd be all white... so why is she seeing red reflections in her mirror tonight?

8. MGMT - Future Reflections

No idea.

Still, pretty groovy.

7. Donovan - Summer Day Reflection

Sick of this long, cold winter? Close your eyes and listen to this.(This is an indication of how long ago I wrote this particular post. Still, no one reads these bits so I'm not going to change it now.)

6. Spider-Man - Rock Reflections of a Super-Hero

OK, it's not actually by Spider-Man. Most of this record was recorded by a little known US rock band called Crack The Sky. The LP was released by Marvel (and Lifesong Records) back in 1975, a full rock opera narrated by Stan 'The Man' Lee himself (natch).

So it predates the woeful Turn Off The Dark musical by a good 30 years... and better yet, Bono and The Edge had absolutely nothing to do with it. 

5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Reflections In A Flat

A love story told through a rhyme scheme that doesn't quite work. Another slice of HMHB genius.

Oh darling sugar honey
When it was nice and sunny
And when I had some money
We would go and see Echo And The Bunny
…men

4. Bobby Womack featuring Lana Del Rey - Dayglo Reflection

From last year's all-conquering album that bestowed upon its creator the title of "coolest man" alive... until the next one comes along. Nice collaboration, anyway.

3. Sisters of Mercy - Lucretia, My Reflection

The older I get, the more hilarious I find Andrew Eldritch.

2. Diana Ross & The Supremes - Reflections

It was a close call for Number One and you'll probably say I chose the wrong one. Whatever, they're both damn fine records.

1. The Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life

Another classic 60s hit that still sounds fresh - and when the harmony vocal comes in repeating, "all my crying" and "all my sorrow", the hairs on the back of my neck always stand up. The Marmalade (the 'The' is apparently optional) are still touring today... I doubt they would have been if they'd stuck with their original name, "The Gaylords".

I have a very special fondness for Kevin Rowland's heartbreakingly camp showtune version too. Though perhaps not the outfit he wore on the album cover. 




Which one is staring a back at you from your pop mirror?

My Top Ten Alice... Songs

I was planning a Top Ten Alice In Wonderland Songs, but there were so many good tracks, I had to split them into two lists. Today then, Songs With Alice In The Title (not all of them the Wonderland girl, but most of them touched by her in one way or another). Next post... Wonderland (and its inhabitants).


10. Cocteau Twins - Alice

I should be a bigger Cocteau Twins fan than I am. They made some beautiful music in their time.

9. Smokie - Living Next Door To Alice

This might have made it higher up the chart, were it not for the 1995 remake featuring Roy 'Chubbie' Brown. Serious points deducted for that.

8. Sleeper - Alice In Vain

Alice in the playground
She ain’t got a boyfriend
Oh oh that’s a pity
She’s not even pretty
Alice hears them whisper
They smile when they see her
Oh, oh she’ll discover
Girls don’t hurt each other

7. The Sisters of Mercy - Alice

Alice in her party dress
She thanks you kindly
So serene
She needs you like she needs her tranqs

Sounding like a goth Bowie on this song, the mighty Andrew Eldritch. Where is he now? Still in the go, apparently. But with much shorter hair.

6. Alice Cooper - Hard Hearted Alice

Of course, Alice Cooper has made far better records, both as a band and as a solo artist. But this is the only one I could find with Alice in the title, so check it out. It's the mellow side of Coops... surprisingly sweet.

5. Ben Folds Five - Alice Childress

After many years as a solo artist, Ben has reformed the Ben Folds Five (all three of them) for a tour later this year. Not sure I can afford tickets, but it'd be great to see the band back together playing songs like this again.

4. Grinderman - Electric Alice

Don't the stars look good tonight
Thought Electric Alice
In the pale moonlight

From Nick Cave... to Stevie Nicks...

3. Stevie Nicks - Alice

Like Alice through the Looking Glass...
She used to know who she was

2. Terrorvision - Alice, What's The Matter?

Keighley's finest. Not that there's a whole lot of competition for that title.

1. Tom Waits - Alice

Written with Kathleen Brennan, Waits' dreamy song is dedicated to Alice Liddell, the girl who inspired Lewis Carroll to write Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.



Back soon with my 'In Wonderland' Top Ten... meanwhile, which song with Alice in the title sends you to Wonderland?