Wednesday 13 July 2022

Celebrity Jukebox #9: Ernest Borgnine


What a career Ernest Borgnine had. After fighting in the Navy in WWII (and winning a bunch of medals in the process), he ended up fighting alongside Burt Lancaster in From Here To Eternity, William Holden in The Wild Bunch and Lee Marvin in The Dirty Dozen. He was on board The Flight the Phoenix, survived the Poseidon Adventure and chased Kris Kristofferson's Convoy... all long before he took the co-pilot seat in Stringellow Hawk's Airwolf

He was married five times. His shortest period of wedlock was 42 days, to Ethel Merman. Iffypedia says "their time together was mostly spent hurling profane insults at each other", which sounds familiar. His final marriage lasted 4 decades though, so I guess he got that one right.

He died in 2012 at the age of 95, having being on screen for 6 decades, including the years spent voicing a Spongebob Squarepants character. What a guy.

In song, we find him spending time in Jill Sobule's Loveless Hotel...

And the stars upon the walls look down at me like gods
There's Ernest Borgnine and Billy Ray Cyrus and my favorite Minnie Pearl

Turning his hand to writing (or not)...


Talking with a friend of mine
Bout Ernest Borgnine
And the short stories he never wrote

Joining a parade...


He'd eat at KFC
Wore salad clothes and smelled like turpentine
He talked alot about his art
With a spitting image of Ernest Borgnine
They found him dead the other day
Out where the punks and school kids play
And a mere in the shade
Leaning on the day's parade

He even gets a mention in Weird Al's horoscopes!


Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (KILL THEM)
Take down all those naked pictures of
Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den

But the greatest tribute to Ernest Borgnine in song comes from John Grant, who uses the great man as an inspirational figure when times are really tough...

I got to meet him once, and he was really, really cool.
And when I think about everything's that he's been through,
I wish he'd call me on the phone and take my ass to school.

I wonder what Ernie Borgnine would do.


Next time I'm having a bad day, I'm going to ask myself that very question.

What would Ernest Borgnine do?

2 comments:

  1. As you say, what a guy.

    I have half a memory of a Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch in which Pamela Stephenson, in full Jan Leeming mode, pronounced his name Ernest Borgneenay... but I can't find it on YouTube so I must have imagined it.

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