Saturday Snapshots #447: Songs About Famous Female Singers

Thank you for playing this week's Snapshots.

Here are 15 songs dedicated to famous ladies of song...

15. Christ's sons' lay a band... that would cause a kerfuffle.

"Christ's sons' lay a band" was a very convoluted anagram.

Crosby, Stills and Nash - Suite: Judy Blue Eyes 

Written by Stephen Stills, about his ex... blue-eyed Judy Collins.

14. Poster boys.

The Wanted - Walks Like Rihanna

13. Originally called Landscape: Noon. 

John Constable's painting, originally titled Landscape: Noon, became more famous as The Haywain.

The Haywains - Dusty Springfield 

...or you could have had...

The Haywains - Bobbie Gentry's Tears

12. Be happy in Italian, with Nina.

"Felice" is be happy in Italian. With Nina Simone.

Simone Felice - Courtney Love

11. They gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of good-luck pennies, and our lives.

That's a quote from To Kill A Mockingbird, regarding Arthur 'Boo' Radley.

The Boo Radleys - It's Lulu!

10. Part lion, part eagle - all Vicious.

A Griffin was part-lion, part-eagle. Sid was Vicious.

Sid Griffin - Ode to Bobbie Gentry

9. Calendar Girls.

Barenaked Ladies - Be My Yoko Ono

8. Often thought of as a Nancy boy.

Because he often duetted with Ms. Sinatra.

Lee Hazlewood - Dolly Parton's Guitar

7. Sand aggregates water.

Mix 'em together and what have you got?

The Concretes - Diana Ross

6. They're not interested in your Bomber, your Burner, or your Chopper.

No Raleighs! They only want to steal your BMX.

The BMX Bandits - Kylie's Got A Crush On Us

5. Go Wild, Hey-Billy-Poppa and Derek Dick.

Go Wild In The Country; Hey Joe, Billy Joe (see above), Poppa Joe; Derek Dick is Fish.

Country Joe & The Fish - Janis

4. What you talking about, Willis (junior)?

Bruce Willis's daughter is called Rumer.

Rumer - Aretha

3. Sounds like a coal train for John and Andy in Tennessee.

Robbie Coltrane meets John / Andy / Tennessee Williams.

Robbie Williams (featuring the Pet Shop Boys) - She's Madonna

2. Kurt loves fishing for pubs. What does he use?

He uses a...

Courtney Barnett - Ode to Odetta

1. Diana keels over when she's around him.

"Diana keels" was an anagram.

Neil Sedaka - Oh Carol! 

(Written about Carole King.)

I had a load of these left over, so I'll bore you with them tomorrow.

More Snapshots next Saturday.

Celebrity Jukebox #72: Neil Sedaka

All I need to say about the late, great Neil Sedaka can be heard in the songs below...

Neil Sedaka - Oh! Carol

Neil Sedaka - Calendar Girl

Captain & Tennille - Love Will Keep Us Together

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Neil Sedaka - Laughter in the Rain

Tony Christie - Is This The Way To Amarillo 

If he'd only written one of those, his name would deserve to go down in legend... but he was a co-writer on all of them, and many more.

Here are a few lyrical tributes...

Diggin' a record on the juke box
I nearly makes me want to cry
You always thought it was a cracker
The one by Sedaka 'bout away to say goodbye

Not sure about rhyming Sedaka with cracker, guys.

Kenny - Julie Anne

Boulder Colorado one nine sixty five

In a four piece cover band, called Peter and the wolves

What we lacked in musical got skill

We made up raising hell

But peter's grandmother's

Uncle's friend

Knew neil sedaka's manager who said he would send

My funky little band on a national tour

So we waited by the phone

And we waited, and we waited some more

The Bacon Brothers - Almost Got Rich

(Yes, Kevin is one of the Bacon Brothers.)

And I'm a host when my best friends come over

And kinda a hostess when they've finally gone away

I can sing up a song just like Neil Sedaka

I've got it covered, I'm kinky, straight, and gay

Martin Mull - I'm Everyone I've Ever Loved

And finally, here's one for George... all 32 minutes of it...

Some men say he could fly some men say he could swim

Others say he could sing like Neil Sedaka

And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of him

Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention - Billy The Mountain

We close the jukebox today though with one of my favourite Neil Sedaka songs, given a new sheen by another late great - Mark Lanegan.

Snapshots #336: A 1960s Year By Year Top Ten

I missed out on the 1960s by just two years. Sometimes I wish I'd been there for the fun.

All I have to console me are songs about the 60s... here are ten, in chronological order...

10. Florentine explorer.

That would be Amerigo Vespucci, the man who gave his name to a continent...

America - 1960

9. Bentos.

George's favourite pie - Fray Bentos!

The Fray - 1961

8. Super, Green, Whispering... must go on.

Supergrass, Green Grass, Whispering Grass... The Show Must Go On.

Grass Show - 1962

7. Hitler's plan for Europe.

Neuordnung.

New Order - 1963

6. Found confused in the naked aisle.

"Naked aisle" was an anagram.

Neil Sedaka - The Queen Of 1964

5. Big Hearted Fish.

Heart sang a song about a big fish...

The Barracudas - (I Wish It Could Be) 1965 Again

4. Jamie Dodger

Jamie Dodger follows in the fine tradition of Gary Baldy and Peter Cookie...

Half Man Half Biscuit - 1966 And All That

3. French writers.

The French for author is auteur...

The Auteurs - 1967

2. In a tizzy, Joe canoodles Vader. 

"Joe canoodles Vader" was another anagram...

Alejandro Escovedo - 1968

Maybe I should have gone with the original, by Chris Gaffney... but I figured you'd have more chance of identifying Alejandro. (I know I would!)

1. Howard, Howard and Fine.

Larry Fine, Curly Howard and Moe Howard were the Three Stooges.

The Stooges - 1969

Back to the present day with more Snapshots next Saturday.

Hot 100 #16

I've got your picture for next week sorted, said Charity Chic. I have an album by a band called 16 Horsepower.

And you know what? I thought I did too. But it appears to have disappeared from my music library. Anyway, thank you for the reminder.

The biggest problem about the Number 16 on our countdown was summed up by Lynchie that many suggestions might be "a bit dodgy - older men singing about mid-teen girls."

In more cynical / enlightened / post-Glitter & Saville times, we may now find these songs creepy... but part of me thinks they were never actually meant that way. Oh for a return to innocence...

Chuck Berry - Sweet Little Sixteen

B.B. King - Sweet Sixteen

Well, maybe that one's a bit creepy. But this one, from Brian, is pure as the driven snow...

Johnny Burnette - You're Sixteen

Of course, Ringo managed to made it very creepy...

Ringo Starr - You're Sixteen

I think this is the case with a lot of these songs, actually. There's the sweet, innocent version...

Neil Sedaka - Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen

(Rigid Digit adds "One from the man who started Madchester by recording at Strawberry Studios.")

And the Call Operation Yew Tree version...

Neil Diamond -  Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen

On the other hand, we get the male version...

Craig Douglas - Only Sixteen

And the female version...

The Supremes - Only Sixteen

Is one sweeter than the other? You decide.

Brian threw this one in the ring...

For the third week in a row, let's give Stray Cats a shot with Sixteen Candles. It was used during the closing credits of the movie.

Stray Cats - Sixteen Candles

Now I didn't have that one in my own collection. I did have the original though...

The Crests - Sixteen Candles 

As well as this, which is the same in name alone...

Danielle Dax - 16 Candles

And while we're on the subject...

Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" 

Then there are the age 16 that don't even try to be innocent. The Swede was the first to suggest this...

Iggy Pop - Sixteen

And Rigid Digit was quick to add this one...

Kiss - Christine Sixteen

Here's someone else you wouldn't let your 16 year old anywhere near...

Billy Idol - Sweet Sixteen

Of course, some 16 year old girls can be shameless. Take this Rodgers and Hammerstein classic suggested by Rigid Digit...

Sixteen Going On Seventeen from The Sound of Music

For your information though, Charmain Carr was 23 when that was filmed. Which takes us back to a point I raised last week. (Go look it up yourself, it takes me long enough to write all this stuff down once without going back and reading it again.)

And if you think that was scary, try this...

Soft Cell - I Am Sixteen Going On Seventeen

More shameless sixteen year olds can be be found here...

The Heavy - Sixteen

At least Travis understand the dangers of getting involved with young girls...

Travis - U16 Girls

I met a girl in L.A

The million dollar kind

She was all for all or nothing

She was open all the time

But when I called her number

Her mother's on the line sayin'

You've no business

As god's my witness

With a child as young as mine

So make sure that she's old enough

Before you blow your mind

She may look like she knows enough

But look in her eye

And if so

Let her go

You'll let her down in style

Looking back on being 16 is something that gets harder as the years go by. There are a few songs written from that perspective, and C was the first to offer this very popular suggestion, saying, So good, in so many ways, and no dodgy lyrics about young girls! First heard when I was still 14 and sixteen sounded old...

The Buzzcocks - Sixteen Again

An' I wish, I was sixteen again

Then things would be such fun

All the things I'd do would be the same

But they're much more fun

Than when you're twenty wo' wo' wo' wo' wo' one

C then recalled another one on similar lines: Ooh and let us not forget... 

The Sweet - The Six Teens

And then there was this chuck of wish-fulfilment from Rigid Digit...

The Dictators - Sixteen Forever

Which led me to recall this...

The Casket Girls - Sixteen Forever

And this...

Green Day - 16

Every time I look in my past

I always wish I was there

I wish my youth would forever last

Why are all these times so unfair?

The Swede also nominated this one. Brian added: It was No. 15 on my Festive 50 for 2019, and indie couple Amelia and Rob deserve a moment on top of the heap.

A new band to me, but one that immediately went on the Check Out pile...

The Catenary Wires - Sixteen Again  

The Swede also offered this from an old favourite of his...

Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3 - Sixteen Years

I'll throw in this lovely "remember being 16" song from my favourite album of the 21st Century...

The Indelicates - Sixteen

Let's go to town and switch the magazines

Drink milkshakes until we're sick

Oh oh, it'll be so funny

Oh oh, it'll be so funny

If we don't do it now then someone else will

Oh oh, it'll be so funny

Oh oh, it's the power not the money

This scene is the scene to be seen in

Not that the scene is what we'd be seen with

We just wanna be 16 (16) 16 (16)

Even though we're 23

And then this...

Calexico and Iron & Wine - Sixteen, Maybe Less

And then there's this one from The Big O (via Rigid Digit) which offers some timely "enjoy it while it lasts" advice to 16 year olds everywhere....

Roy Orbison - You'll Never Be Sixteen Again

It's worth pointing out that 16 can be a terrible time in your life. Luckily Swiss Adam brought up this, a strong contender from my own shortlist...

The Replacements - Sixteen Blue

Brag about things you don't understand

A girl and a woman, a boy and a man

Everything is sexually vague

Now you're wondering to yourself

That you might be gay

Your age is the hardest age

Everything drags and drags

You're looking funny

You ain't laughing, are you?

And on the same subject...

Andrea Carroll - It Hurts To Be 16

Janie Black - Lonely Sixteen

The Ronettes - What's So Sweet About Sweet Sixteen?

Hello Saferide  - X Telling Me About The Loss Of Something Dear, At Age 16

And last but not least in this category... surely the saddest song about a 16 year old ever?

Townes Van Zandt - Sixteen Summers, Fifteen Falls

Putting aside age-related songs then, what else did you have for me?

Lynchie returned to a fine offering from a few weeks back...

Tom Waits - 16 Shells From a Thirty-Ought Six

The Swede offered...

Green on Red - Sixteen Ways 

Anomoanon - Sixteen Ways 

Johnny Osbourne - Lend Me the Sixteen

Brian added...

Josef K - 16 Years

The Decemberists - 16 Military Wives

The Brilliant Corners - Sixteen Years

Jim in Dubai came up with a couple of lesser-known belters...

The Jazzateers - Sixteen Reasons

The Passage - Sixteen Hours

And Charity Chic returned to remind us all of...

The Jayhawks - Sixteen Down

The Flatlanders - Number Sixteen

OK, time to scrape the barrel / hard-drive before we get to this week's winner...

Tom Verlaine - Sixteen Tulips

(That might be worth a post of its own one day soon.)

Animals That Swim - Sixteen Letters

Jack White - Sixteen Saltines

Paul Kelly - Song From The Sixteenth Floor

Pop Will Eat Itself - Sixteen Different Flavours Of Hell

Rainbow - Sixteenth Century Greensleeves

The Stylistics - Sixteen Bars

Manic Street Preachers - Sorrow 16

Whiskeytown - 16 Days

Kate Jackson - 16 Years

Shakespear's Sister - My 16th Apology

Sunny Sweeney - 16th Avenue

The National - Conversation 16

That has to be the strangest video I've seen in a long time, featuring some reasonably big name actors, in some kind of bizarre SNL sketch that doesn't fit the song at all.

Anyway... the winner. Which will probably be obvious by now. It was first suggested by Lynchie, then seconded by Swiss Adam, though I'm sure a few others would have given it consideration.

Have you ever heard the Stevie Wonder version?

Stevie Wonder - 16 Tons

George can have that for his Wednesday covers feature over at CC's place if he likes.

Here's the original, a classic Hate Your Job tune, of which... as you know... I have a special interest in recent times...

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt

Saint Peter don't you call me, 'cause I can't go

I owe my soul to the company store

Which brings us to #15. Your suggestions, please.

Saturday Snapshots #120 - The Answers

I blame Billy Joel for the fact that I can't ever think about Grace Kelly without also thinking about trouble in the Suez. Damn him. I'll never be part of High Society.

Anyway, before it gets to High Noon, here are this week's answers...

10. Invasion of the... couch potatoes.

Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

Being a couch potato is a pretty easy life.

The Bodysnatchers - Easy Life

9. Rhythm & Blues writes to problematic girl, mourning conjunction.

R 'n' B without the conjunction is RB. Mourning is grieving.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

R.B. Greaves - Take A Letter, Maria

For years, I thought this was a song about a scoundrel leaving his wife and shamelessly copping off with his secretary. Then I listened a bit more closely and realised his missus was at it first. So I guess that serves her right.

Excellent video.

8. Weeping fox.

Vixen - Crying

You love it.

Don't pretend you don't.

7. Ask Daniele for a more upbeat reaction to bad weather than Don & Phil had.

"Ask Daniele" is an anagram.

The Everly Brothers were Crying In The Rain.

Neil Sedaka - Laughter In The Rain

6. Dancer's dog mourned by Lee, Lynne and Luke Sky.

Jerry Lee, Jeff Lynne & Luke Sky... Walker.

The dancer's dog was Mr. Bojangles.

Tissues at the ready...

Jerry Jeff Walker - Mr. Bojangles

5. Bake-off final: mercy for Hergé.

Duffy sang Mercy.

I've never watched Bake Off, but I presume that in the final they put the icing on the cake.

Stephen Tin Tin Duffy - Icing On The Cake

4. Alloy writer romanticised by fortunate Queen killers.

The Smiths sang The Queen Is Dead.

Breaking into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner now seems quite mild as Morrissey's crimes go.

The romantic alloy writer would be Danielle Steel.

The Lucksmiths - Danielle Steel

3. On hold for conventional candy.

Vanilla Fudge - You Keep Me Hanging On

I should have saved this one for a Cover Me Monday.

2. Romantic Shakespearean text found in smallest room.

A book found in the smallest room would be a loo read.

Lou Reed - Romeo Had Juliet

1. The sound...of a brand-new world. Predictably.

Hey, radio head!

The sound...of a brand-new world.

So sang Talking Heads.

A world without surprises would be very predictable.



It's pure coincidence that this track featured here on Thursday. I compiled this
edition of Saturday Snapshots weeks ago. I could have changed it, but I wanted to see if anyone was paying attention.

Don't worry, Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. No need to Dial M For Murder.

My Top Ten Carol Songs

Because it's almost Christmas... here's ten Carols.

No Carolines though, there's a whole other Top Ten in them.

10. Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol

Getting us all in the Christmas spirit... kind of.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

9. The Polyphonic Spree - Carol of the Bells

 Or, if you prefer a slightly less cynical Christmas Carol... (well, it's also mercifully short).

8. Nadeah - Scary Carol

In which Nadeah gets kidnapped by a green polar bear. Things get weirder from there.

7. Chuck Berry - Carol

Can't beat a bit of Chuck. Great guitar on this song.

6. Modesty Blaise - Carol Mountain

80s indie band who the internet appears to know very little about. Shame: this is a jaunty little number.

5. Morrissey - When I Last Spoke To Carol

Morrissey goes Mariachi. Again. And growls like a tiger. Don't ask me.

4. Manfred Mann's Earth Band -  Don't Kill It, Carol

This Carol doesn't have exactly green fingers. Oy! Carol! Leave that rose alone!

3. Jeff Buckley - Corpus Christi Carol

It's easy to forget just what a cracking album Grace was. Then you listen to something like this again and... woah, momma.

2. Neil Sedaka - Oh Carol

It's a classic, but it might not have made it so high on this countdown if it wasn't for the talky bit.

I'm always a sucker for talky bits: the more earnest, the better.

Written for Carole King, back when she and Neil worked together in the Brill Building.

1. Flight of the Conchords - Carol Brown

One of their very best. Lyrics so good... proves they're more than just a comedy band.

Shut up, girlfriends from the past!

Those were my favourite Carols... which one is your Vorderman?