Another query I stole from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions, with the hope of hearing your answers...
What's the best advice you've ever received and ignored?
Sometimes I wonder about this. Chances are though, if you ignore some advice and end up regretting it, you'll probably edit your memories to forget you were ever given that advice in the first place. Well, that's how my memory works, anyway.
My parents would have loved me to go to university after my A Levels, but I was determined I wanted to go work in radio for no money instead*. My parents never pushed me though... they let me make my own mistakes and find my way back. Possibly this came from my brother who left school to pursue an accountancy course, hated it, quit, got a milk round, saved up, bought himself a digger and went on to become a very successful builder. Maybe they thought I would follow a similar path.
(*Literally: for the first couple of years, I did not get paid.)
I didn't, but I did eventually end up going back to university while I was working nights at the radio station, thereby having my cake and eating it. Because as well as wanting to be a DJ, I also wanted to be a writer. Somebody probably should have given me some advice about that as well.
It might have been better had someone advised me to go away to university rather than staying in my hometown... socially, at least, it might have made more well-adjusted human being... but on the other hand, I did finish uni without any student debt, and there's not many people who can say that.
Yes, I found it more pleasurable to sit facing away from the pitch.
On Saturday, I went to a football game. Not a game that my son Sam was playing in, but a professional* game, in a stadium, with actual football fans.
(*Those of you with specific allegiances may wish to question my use of this word. It was Huddersfield Town versus West Brom, after all. Have at it, I have no stake in local pride.)
Anyone who's been reading this blog for more than 5 minutes will realise the irony of Me. At. A. Football. Match. Or maybe irony's not the right word. "Cruel twist of fate" might be more appropriate. But the tickets were free and I did it for Sam. He enjoyed himself, and that's what being a parent is all about. Sacrifice.
Strangely, this is not the first time I have attended a professional football game. Back when I played in the band, I once stood on the pitch and played at half time. (Before you get excited, thinking I'm the long lost Ramone brother, it was a brass band.) Same team, very different ground, back in the late 80s... I seem to recall "shed" would have been a more appropriate term than "stadium".
I don't really have any observations about the game itself. Town did pretty well in the first half, going 2-0 up, then got a bit complacent and let the Brommers pull it back for a draw. I think that's how Alan Partridge would have put it. (I used to work with a guy called Brommers. He wasn't from West Brom.) Maybe I have an observation or two about the crowd though. We were in the family stand, and it all started out very civilised, with lots of clapping and general encouragement. It was almost like a cricket match. Midway through the second half, when Town were no longer up, that had changed to an aura of bitter dissent, with repeated examples of loud toxic masculinity... and that was just from the women. (I joke, but some of the loudest and rudest heckles came from the ladies. We live in an age of true equality.)
I won't be hurrying back, but I'd happily accompany Sam again if the tickets were free. And there weren't any freshly painted walls that needed observing for the afternoon.
I stumbled across this lot last week. Early 70s "Bubblerockers" The Huddersfield Transit Authority. (I presume they were taking the piss out of The Chicago Transit Authority. And Huddersfield.) Never heard of them before, but had to give them a listen for reasons of the aforementioned local pride. They're not from Huddersfield, in case you were wondering. In fact, the lead singer was Sir Timothy Miles Bindon Rice, of "wrote the words for Andrew Lloyd-Webber" fame. Although he didn't write the words for this. I don't think Del Shannon had much to worry about...
Love that video. I'd visit my local greasy spoon more if Chrissie Hynde worked there.
2. Weather breeder, like Prince Albert.
I'm sure I've probably used Prince Albert before, although this time it has nothing to do with piercings... just the old "Have you got Prince Albert in a can?" joke.
Blackpool's Section 25 give us our image this week, a post-punk band who have been in the go since the late 70s and are still going... having recently been sampled by Kanye West, of all people. Here's Looking From A Hilltop.
Before we begin with your suggestions for Number 25, a quick reminder of Ezekiel 25:17, for anyone who doesn't know their Bible verse (as rewritten by Quentin Tarantino).
Oh, and let's get the Christmas songs out of the way too, shall we?
That's always allowed, George. How could I disqualify those sideburns and the ultimate drinking & driving pop song? Although google informs me that the lyrics go like this...
Always got time for the DBTs, Lynchie. Channelling the Stones on that one, I think.
Now here's C to bring all us old farts into the 21st Century...
I must put in a good word for young Liverpool lad Louis Berry and his cracking song 25 Reasons. It's only a couple of years old but has that 60's R'n'B thing going on, with a pinch of Dr Feelgood too. Go for it!
Imagine that. A time when the Bobster wasn't even 25! That has featured here before. So I'm sure I must have done the "If he's sitting on a barbed wire fence, that'll explain why his voice sounds like it does" gag. If not, you can have it for free.
One more from The Swede... even though I'm starting to feel like Jez must have done in the most ridiculous excesses of The Chain (coming back soon, apparently).
Dang! I blame the time zone difference here in Canada, but when I awoke at 6:00 a.m. to get an early bid in for Dukes of Stratosphear's 25 O'Clock and Zager and Evans' In The Year 2525, I found I was a few hours behind Martin. No problem, I think to myself, I'll give it some more thought, and get the rest of my bids in during my lunch hour. Would't you know it, when I go to check at lunch there are fifteen comments now, and Rigid Digit has taken another of my sure-fire guesses in Mandela Day.
So I'll start instead with a couple clever covers. How about They Might Be Giants' cover of The Dukes of Stratosphear's 25 O'Clock? I know TMBGs get a lot of love around here, so let's go with that, for the steal...
That Ian Brown cover is my favourite. But back to Douglas...
Strangely (?), I could find no one who took on a cover of Simple Mind's Mandela Day, let alone offering any kind of hope for "improvement" on the original.
You can't improve on perfection, Douglas. Apparently.
So that leaves me with one original, and not for the first time, I find myself offering from among the oeuvre of one Paul Heaton that deal with his take on aging. How about "Prettiest Eyes" by the Beautiful South, which contain the following seasonally appropriate reference to Christmas:
Let's take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
Not through the age or the failure, children
Not through the hate or despise
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Luckily, I have a few more years before I have to worry about any of that myself.
In the end, while it could have been Zager & Evans... or Chicago... Johnny, Mott or The Beautiful South... this week's winner's trophy actually goes to George.
Yes, George.
Who's have thought it?
But his final suggestion trumped all other contenders...
Tramp by Otis Redding and Carla Thomas. Just before the things with the Cadillacs there's a 25 cent lyric...
That's right, you haven't even got a fat bankroll in your pocket...
You probably haven't even got twenty-five cents
Greatest duet ever recorded? Could be.
I can buy you minks, rats, frogs, squirrels, rabbits, anything you want, woman!
Thank you all for your help. But if you think 25 was a big post... wait till we get to next week! Try not to get too carried away. I might just go with the really obvious one. (Or the really obvious one to me.)
Oh, one final thing. Unless they're amazing suggestions, I'm going to stop allowing lyrical 24s (and so on) as we get nearer number one. Let's face it, there are way too many. So you'll have to be really persuasive if you want to sell me on a lyrical reference from now on. Sorry.
The Beta 58s welcome us to the latest number on our countdown... proof that punk isn't dead, but it hasn't grown any more braincells.
Straight on to your suggestions for this week...
C started the ball rolling, bringing back a band from last week...
You had Blondie for 59 - you can have them again for 58 with I'm On E:
I gave my car to a guy named Vinnie I feel like gassin' my feet They've totalled your bill and you skipped a beat I used to have a car of my own Twenty eight or fifty eight
That was the b-side of Denis, in case anybody was wondering. Wonder if it'll return in 30 weeks time?
Rigid Digit was on fire this week with 4 top suggestions...
And yes, you would be right. It's not acceptable. For all the reasons. Your second offering wasn't much better, although you did note that it was "a bit heavy on the guitar solo noodling side".
I'd still rather listen to that than New Order though. I will horrify many of you by saying I'd rather listen to If You Leave Me Now than New Order too. I'm sorry. Old scars run deep.
And while I'm in the business of horrifying you all... and comparing Mancunian icons with cheesy American rockers, here's two suggestions my music library threw up this week...
Out of the frying pan And into the fire 58th variety Out of the frying pan And into the fire Mother had her son for tea
Yeah, there was a bit of sarcasm there, the idea that Siouxsie could restore sanity to anything.
The Swede was late this week, claiming "C got there before me" (not sure if that was Blondie or Siouxsie) "so all I can offer is Ronsard '58 by Serge Gainsbourg." That is actually in my record collection, though I'm worried I'll have to have it deported after Brexit.
All of which brings us to this week's winner, which was firsted by Rigid Digit and seconded by South West Correspondent. I have to admit, I haven't listened to The Bends in ages, so I'd forgotten how good this track was... it has a great opening line too! ("I get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown".)
The troubled words of a troubled mind
I try to understand what is eating you,
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since I last slept with you
Next week is an easy win for me. I know exactly who the winning artist will be. Less easy to decide which song though...
Your suggestions, as always, will be gratefully received...
There were a couple of 67 bands I found who might have been used to illustrate this week's edition of the Hot 100... but none of them looked as crazy as this old Vanilla Fudge album cover.
67 proved a much harder number to find songs for than our last two entries, but you still came through with some interesting suggestions...
The Swede kicked off by scouring an old hard drive (the lengths you will go to!) to dig up Habitat '67 by Eat Lights Become Lights, "a combo who were apparently once lauded by the NME for '...mixing Krautrock rhythms and celestial drones to heavenly effect...'". Or as I might have put it, "9 minutes of ambient nonsense". Thanks anyway, Swede.
Martin gave a second shout out to Chicago - Questions 67 & 68, which I must admit is really growing on me. One more question and they might have done it. He also offered Elton John - Old 67... which is not bad for 21st Century Elt. With those two suggestions, I wonder if we should start calling Martin MORtin?
Slightly less MOR was Martin's final suggestion - seconded by Rigid Digit: King's X - 67. Love the guitar on that, guys.
I got me a 67 Chevy, she's low and sleek and black Someday I'll put her on that interstate and never look back...
Lynchie also offered Johnny Cash as a potential lyrical suggestion not just for this week but every week between 70 and 49. Tempting, because I love One Piece At A Time.
Little Mikey Carson 67 to 75 He rode his Bike like the devil until the day he died When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze Oh, 1940 to 1992
And then... this... which I only discovered last year when somebody recommended it for another Top Ten I wrote (might have been My Top Ten Taxi Songs). A very popular suggestion from you guys though - with Martin, C, Rigid Digit and Jim Dubai all voting for it. Yes, it's cheesy... but it's my kind of cheesy!
66 next? Too obvious? Any other suggestions gratefully received, but I think we all know the winner...
Dubai Jim went down the band route and suggested The Mai 68s with Totality For Kids, which is definitely worth a click, particularly as it seems to come from an album called Some Hearts Are Paid To Die.
Martin once again offered a couple of tracks he wasn't that into... Pink Floyd - Summer '68 and Chicago - Questions 67 & 68... before settling on the obvious choice. Saves me the job of suggesting those two as they were both in my library.
Rigid Digit also offered Blink 182 - 6/8... which I might have to save for My Top Ten Time Signature Songs... if I ever do that.
All fine tunes, but most everyone agreed that there could only be one winner this week. As C put it, "all other possible suggestions have been completely obscured from view by their hair".
This is the second and probably final appearance by The Alarm in this countdown. Wonderfully awful video for your enjoyment too...
67 next week. Nothing as obvious as our last two entries... unless you know different.
A songwriting partnership hits the ropes. Classic Kathleen.
You're cool and cred like Fogerty
I'm Elvis Presley in the 70's
You're Chateauneuf, I'm Yellow Label
You're the buffet, I'm just the table
I'm a Ford Tempo, you're a Maserati
The closing track of the greatest album of the 90s. In My Humble Opinion.
Oh and I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it, and I, I could do anything if only I could get round to it. Oh, we were brought up on the Space-Race, Now they expect you to clean toilets. When you've seen how big the world is, How can you make do with this?
1. Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days
One of the very best songs of the 80s. If I close my eyes and listen to it now, I can only remember the good parts of being a teenager...
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of... Well, time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister But boring stories of glory days
Which one fills you with glory?
P.S. Glorious songs have been saved for another post. Don't mither.
