Friday 21 October 2022

Positive Songs For Negative Times #80: Leadership Campaign


Oh dear. 

It appears we need a new Prime Minister. 

Again. 

They're just not built to last these days, are they? 

Well, as we appear to have exhausted every possible candidates in the government, I thought I'd suggest a few of my own... 


5. Joe Talbot

Lead singer of Idles, one of the most political bands on the British music scene at the moment.

Policies: Celebrating immigration (particularly Danny Nedelko); Singing at fascists until his head comes off (I'm Scum). 

Campaign slogan: "The best way to scare a Tory is to read and get rich."

Idles - Mother

4. Nigel Blackwell

(Half-) Man of the people. Cares about the things that really matter.

Policies: Making National Shite Day an official Bank Holiday; Not allowing anyone to Organise our Bat-Walks; Leaving Kelvin MacKenzie In A Suffolk Ditch, “in a second hand hessian sack”

Campaign Slogan: “No One Cares About Your Creative Hub So Get Your Fucking Hedge Cut”

Half Man Half Biscuit - L'Enfer C'est Les Autres

3. Billy Nomates

If she’s got no mates, there’s no one to stab her in the back.

Policies: Calling In Sick; Helping the Forgotten Normal People; Saying “No!

Campaign Slogan: “Anyone can do it, but they don’t do shit.”

Billy Nomates - Modern Art

2. Gil Scott Heron

Yes, he’s been dead for a decade, but I still think he’s a more promising candidate than 95% of the House of Commons.

Policies: Not Televising the Revolution; Taking Care of You

Campaign Slogan: “Mandate, my ass!”

Gil Scott Heron - B-Movie

1. Billy Bragg

Nigh on 40 years of mixing pop and politics… who better for the top job?

Policies: Making sure There Is Power In A UnionTaking DownThe Union JackWaiting For The Great Leap Forwards

Campaign Slogan: “Is there more to a seat in parliament than sitting on your arse?”


Hopefully one of these guys will be in Number Ten by next week...


3 comments:

  1. Ah fantastic! That's a new PM (any one of them) and cabinet sorted as far as I'm concerned; (hopefully Gil is contactable through a psychic. It seems no more far fetched an idea than what's really happening).

    ReplyDelete

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