Wednesday 29 March 2023

TV On The Radio #2: The Sweeney


I was too young to watch The Sweeney when it first aired in the mid 70s. All that violence, bad language and people being told to get their trousers on was too much for my young, impressionable mind. I did catch the repeats in the 80s, but by then I was more familiar with John "Regan" Thaw from Inspector Morse and Dennis "Carter" Waterman from Minder. 

The Sweeney was a groundbreaking show in that it started to show the darker side of the force - from coppers who bent the law to get the job done to out and out corruption for personal gain. This coincided with a nasty time for the Scotland Yard Flying Squad the show was named after... and judging by recent reports, very little has changed in the past fifty years.

Oh, and it's another show with a legendary theme tune, written by jazz pianist and Georgie Fame collaborator Harry South...


Last week, Rigid Digit reminded us that certain TV theme tunes appear to have been written soi that you can sing the name of the show over the dominant musical phrase of the tune. The Sweeney follows Hill Street Blues in that: "The Sweeney - The Sweeney - ba ba ba ba baa ba ba ba - The Sweeney - The Sweeney..." etc. I half-expected that technique to have been used on this track by The Filthy 3... but they rather botch it. Still, the video includes some entertaining cameos from the likes of Alvin Stardust, Frank Sidebottom and Terry Duckworth...


Let's kick off our proper musical tribute to The Sweeney with a big Wow...

When the actor reaches his death
You know it's not for real, he just holds his breath
But he always dives too soon, too fast to save himself

He'll never make the screen
He'll never make the Sweeney
Be that movie queen
He's too busy hitting the Vaseline


There's a whole story behind the creation of this next "lost" 1979 single by the band Speed of Life. It may well be a complete work of fiction, but it's a compelling one.


Of course, if you're not a Londoner, you might have trouble understanding the banter between Regan and Carter. Fortunately, Smiley Culture is here to help...

But first let me tell you more about the Cockney
Who live comfortably and have them yacht by the sea
And when it come to money most of then have plenty
But where them spend it? In the bookie
Lose it all on the dogs or on the gee gees
Or paying off them bribes to the Sweeney
So dem nah go do no time fi no armed robbery
Or catching anything that fell off the back of a lorry


Now specially for C, here's something Crass...

The Sweeney are cruising Brixton, created another Belfast.
And J.R.'s advising Thatcher on lighting, make up and cast.


So many TV shows referenced in that song, I've a feeling we'll hear from it again.

Almost at the end now, just time for some unreconstructed Momus...

Banged up in the clinker with a milkman for a mate
I must 'ave 'ad it coming but I don't prognosticate
The Sweeney doing ninety with the sirens and the lights
And me in striped pyjamas and the Tottenham tights


That lyric's clearly a reference to today's undisputed champion... surely the greatest #2 hit to ever feature a whole verse devoted to popular TV cops...

The Sweeney's doing ninety 'cause they've got the word to go
They get a gang of villains in a shed up at Heathrow
They're counting out the fivers when the handcuffs lock again
In and out of Wandsworth with the numbers on their names
It's funny how their missus always look so bleeding same
And meanwhile at the station there's a couple of likely lads
Who swear like, "How's your father?" and they're very cool for cats
They're cool for cats

A rare lead vocal from Chris Difford too, looking about 12 in this video...


That's all for today. SHUT IT.



5 comments:

  1. My first exposure to The Sweeney was growing up in South Africa in the 1970s where it was rather bizarrely dubbed into Afrikaans and renamed 'Blitspatrollie' (Lightning Patrol). I can't remember what the Afrikaans translation of "you slag" was.

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  2. Sorry, late to this but thanks for the mention and Crass!
    I've been watching some of the re-runs of The Sweeney broadcast recently on ITV4. Some of them don't date so well - no surprise there - but yes it was good to be reminded of its unusual grittiness for the time.
    I'll also always remember going on a very early date with a new boyfriend to see 'Sweeney!' at the cinema. I recall very little about the film.

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  3. I am the owner of the 14 DVD Box Set (just over 44 hours) of The Sweeney plus the 2 films plus the Pilot episode. Fair to say I quite like the programme.
    (and I still watch them on ITV4 if they're on).
    But ... the 2012 Ray Winstone and Plan B film version is pretty terrible

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    Replies
    1. Of course: it's got Ray Winstone in. That's like replacing the Arc de Triumph with a Burger King.

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