Namesakes #156: The Chocolate Watch Band

Researching this feature is always a pleasure. I'm forever surprised by how many... and occasionally, how few... bands there are with a particular name. Some bands are truly unique - there will only ever be one Duran Duran, for example (although there is a band called, cheekily, Duran Duran Duran). Likewise, Pulp, Blur and The Stone Roses will never feature here. No REM, The Cure or Bon Jovi. The Who, The Beach Boys, Creedence... the list of bands without Namesakes is almost as long as the list of bands that share their name with a dozen other chancers.

And surely, there can't be more than one group called The Chocolate Watch Band... 

Can there?

THE CHOCOLATE WATCH BAND #1

We start today in Los Altos, California, in 1965 with some fuzzy psychedelia courtesy of a Chocolate Watch Band dubbed by one critic, "America's answer to the Rolling Stones". Although their most famous tune is a cover version of an Kinks song. Looking through their discography, it seems most of their tunes were actually covers, but they built a pretty impressive following regardless (it never stopped Elvis). Here's one that was (I think) written by lead singer David Aguilar, from their third and final album of the 60s, One Step Beyond. They broke up shortly after this was released, only to reform thirty years late in 1999 because: money. I imagine.

The Chocolate Watchband - Devil's Motorcycle

THE CHOCOLATE WATCH BAND #2

Meanwhile, around the same time, on this side of the pond... Gary Osborne and Jack Oliver formed their own Chocolate Watch Band. Perhaps there's a difference between a Chocolate Watchband and a Chocolate Watch Band. The former, if you asked me, would be the strap of a chocolate watch. Yes? The latter, a band named after a Chocolate Watch. Or... a band the likes to watch chocolate?

Anyway, these guys released far fewer records than their American counterparts, and also appear to have resisted offers for a comeback tour 30 years on. Gary Osborne went on to work with Jeff Wayne, recording the original version of Justin Heyward's Forever Autumn as part of the duo Vigrass & Osborne. He was also chairman of The Ivor Novello Awards for some time. Jack Oliver didn't do any of those things. Presumably, he got a proper job instead.

The Chocolate Watch Band - Requiem

Only two two choose from today... but it's still one more than I would have ever expected.

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #130: Grown Ups

This is my favourite panel from Adrian Tomine's book, The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Cartoonist.

For most of my life, I've dreamed of working professionally in comics... but after reading Tomine's autobiographical account of all the snubs, slights, humiliations and disappointments that have made up his own "successful" career in that industry, I think I probably had a lucky escape.

Do you feel like a normal, competent adult? Or do you still feel like a kid making the best of pretending to be a grown up? 

Two recent songs immediately came to mind. First, this...

Brian Bilston & The Catenary Wires - Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulting

And then this, from the glorious Pulp comeback album, More... it's like they've never been away.

Finally part of the new generation

Finally part of the pub conversation

And somehow this leads to mature life decisions

Like the one that I heard of from Jeremy Sissons

Who said he, he moved near the motorway

'Cause it was good for commuting

And I laughed in his face

Because I, I thought he was joking

But then I, I looked in his eyes

And I saw, he was not joking

No, he was trying

Trying so, so hard

To act just like a grown up

And it's so, so hard

And we're hoping that we don't get shown up

'Cause everybody's got to grow up

Snapshots #414: Swearing Songs!

If you're easily offended by foul and obscene words, this week's Snapshots are not for you.

Language, Timothy!

15. Fell walking while eating muffins.

Alfred Wainwright wrote books about fell-walking. Martha had some muffins.

Martha Wainwright - Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole

14. Let me take you by the hand...

...and lead you through The Streets (of London).

The Streets - Such A Twat

13. Owens, Bolt, Coe.

Olympic Runners - The Bitch

12. In every naff supergroup, there is something special.

FFS - Piss Off

11. Banish woke pish! (That sentiment seems a little muddled, if you ask me.)

"Banish woke pish!" was an anagram.

Sophie B. Hawkins - Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover

10. Under Milk Wood fish-head nibbler...

Named after a character in the Dylan Thomas play, describe as a "fish-head nibbler"...

Lord Cut-Glass - Holy Fuck!

9. Upset the Wimbledon AI this year.

Bloody ball boys!

Ballboy - You Can't Spend Your Whole Life Hanging Around With Arseholes

Or...

Ballboy -  All the Records on the Radio are Shite

8. Nigel Planer was one.

Nigel Planer was Neil, in the Young Ones.

Neil Young - Piece Of Crap

7. Wine house located near oil platform.

Amy (Winehouse) by (the) rig...

Amy Rigby - Balls

6. Follow up to a Nirvana LP.

The most famous Nirvana LP was Nevermind...

The Buzzcocks - Oh Shit!

5. Bony protection for a glowing heart.

Shinyribs - Shitty Music

Bang up to date, that one. It only came out a couple of weeks ago.

4. Found in a fathead, and in a vigil, moreover. 

Found in a fathead, and in a vigil moreover. 

Thea Gilmore - That's Love, Motherfucker

3. Stand ins on the stairs.

The Replacements - Bastards Of Young

2. One of our gang, War's Rider, a shaky door. 

C is one of our gang. War sang about a Low Rider. Shaky sang about a Green Door.

Ceelo Green - Fuck You

1. Do you crave Jock, sir? I bet you do, in a way.

"Crave Jock, sir" was a particularly puerile (but rather apt) anagram... and no swear words in the title? Must be some mistake...

Jarvis Cocker - Running The World

Wash your mouths out with soap and water, then join me back here for more Snapshots next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #414

You cannot be serious! Another bunch of Snapshots to identify! There was chalk-dust, man! Get that camera out of my face...

Here are fifteen famous (and not-so-famous) faces from the world of POP. Who are they, and how are their songs connected? 

15. Fell walking while eating muffins.

14. Let me take you by the hand...

13. Owens, Bolt, Coe.

12. In every naff supergroup, there is something special.

11. Banish woke pish! (That sentiment seems a little muddled, if you ask me.)

10. Under Milk Wood fish-head nibbler...

9. Upset the Wimbledon AI this year.

8. Nigel Planer was one.

7. Wine house located near oil platform.

6. Follow up to a Nirvana LP.

5. Bony protection for a glowing heart.

4. Found in a fathead, and in a vigil, moreover. 

3. Stand ins on the stairs.

2. One of our gang, War's Rider, a shaky door. 

1. Do you crave Jock, sir? I bet you do, in a way.

Answers tomorrow morning. Umpire!

Emergency Questions #13: Conspiracy Theory

The Higsons - Conspiracy

Another conversation starter from Richard Herring's book Emergency Questions...

Which conspiracy theory do you think might actually be true?

Rich thinks Paul McCartney really was replaced by a lookalike in the late 60s. You may well agree with him, but I'd argue that the replacement was far more interesting in that case.  

Wings - Live And Let Die

These days, conspiracy theories get rather a bad rep. I blame the internet and all the right-wing loonies who have ruined the good old conspiracy theory for everyone. I used to love a good conspiracy theory... nowadays, I'm more likely to keep that to myself in case people think I'm a Trump supporter.

The Black Crowes - A Conspiracy

Steve Earle - Conspiracy Theory

Jimmy Buffett - Peanut Butter Conspiracy

Peanut Butter Conspiracy - No Communication

But if I had to choose a conspiracy theory that I still feels needs further investigation... despite all the (redacted) files that have been released in the intervening years, I would go for the JFK assassination every time.

Lambchop - JFK

Lou Reed - The Day John Kennedy Died

Look, I know the Oliver Stone movie was a bit dubious in places, but there were still far more questions than answers. Do I really believe Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone gunman? What about the shots from the grassy knoll? Why did Jack Ruby kill him before he could be properly interrogated? 

The Fall - Oswald Defence Lawyer

Camper Van Beethoven - Jack Ruby

Snow Patrol - Last Ever Lone Gunman

Come on... the guy was a Patsy! Even the Manic Street Preachers think so...

What about you? Were the moon landings faked by Stanley Kubrick? What about the Roswell Incident? Was there something in David Icke's Lizard People rantings? Is the Illuminati controlling our every move? Go on, we're all friends here... 

Radio Songs #73: Reunion

The Hiss - Back On The Radio

On Saturday night, I attended the 50th anniversary reunion of the radio station I spent 21 years of my working life at. Although the station itself no longer exists (don't start me on the sad state of the UK radio industry), it originally turned on its transmitters in 1975... although I didn't start working there till I was 16 in 1988. 

Agnetha Fältskog - Back On Your Radio 

It was a very emotional evening, seeing so many old friends. I wouldn't go anywhere near a school reunion, and I hardly remember anyone from my university days, but I knew so many good people during my years in radio, I couldn't resist the opportunity to catch up with them. (I knew quite a few arseholes too, but thankfully, none of them attended. Which says a lot, really.)

James Banbury & Sleep Club - Reunion Radio

The night was a blur. I couldn't stay late as Sam had a football match early the next morning, and the event was an hour's drive from home, so it all felt a bit of a rush. Looking back, I know I didn't get the chance to see everyone I wanted to, while those I did get to talk to, I would have liked to have much more time with. But it was wonderful, how easy it was to fall back into the old banter once we'd got past the "what are you doing now?" bit. It's at least 16 years since I've seen most of these people, but it might as well have been last week.

Simon & Garfunkel - Old Friends

A lot of organisation went into the event, tracking down many different people who'd worked in all the different departments over the years. Sadly, it's unlikely there will be another reunion in the future, but I hope to stay in touch with some of the old friends I saw again on Saturday. 

Morrissey - Hold On To Your Friends

Working in radio had its highs and lows, and the lows took over towards the end, but it was a very special time in my life. We had a laugh, but we got the job done too. That's the best you can say about any workplace, I reckon.

 

Celebrity Jukebox #55: Robert Redford

Distophia - Robert Redford

"He's a regular Robert Redford..."

You've certainly made your mark on the world when your name becomes an idiom, synonymous with charm, charisma and roguish good looks. And when songwriters want a short-cut metaphor for all of the above... Robert Redford is an obvious name-drop.

You're just a Coca Cola cowboy

You got an Eastwood smile and a Robert Redford hair

But you walked across my heart like it was Texas

You taught me how to say I just don't care

Mel Tillis - Coca Cola Cowboy

I don't mean to criticize the girls at all

'Cause I'm no Robert Redford even overhauled

But we all picture in our minds a girl that looks just right

Now ain't it funny, ain't it strange the way a man's opinions change

When he starts to face that lonely night

Mickey Gilley - Don't The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time

I could get myself a nose job, I could diet for a year

But I'll never be Robert Redford 'cause I'm much to fond of beer

Please don't misunderstand me, it's not love I'm trying to buy

It's just I got all this here money and I'm a pretty ordinary guy

Dr. Hook - The Millionaire

Now Lord knows you ain't a saint, and Robert Redford you ain't

But you got a heart of gold through and through

And when it comes to lovin', that old, ooh, kissin' and a-huggin'

Ain't nobody else ever gonna do

Reba McEntyre - I Don't Need Nothin' You Ain't Got

That's all right but I wish they'd confuse me 

With somebody like Burt Reynolds or Robert Redford, 

All them guys that really look like me

Red Simpson - My Name Is Simpson

Jean-Paul Belmondo?

Alain Delon? No!

Clint Eastwood? J'ai dit no!

Paul Newman?

Robert Redford? J'ai dit no!

Sparks - Je M'Appelle Russell

Frank Sinatra and a Rolls Royce

A great set of wheels and a golden voice

Robert Redford is the shiniest star on the silver screen

And don't forget about Michelangelo and New York

The biggest apple and the greatest art

They're the very best I've ever seen

Charley Pride - The Best There Is

I get no pleasure when I'm going through the motions of my mediocre day-to-day

I'm just an actor, just like Robert fucking Redford

When I say those stupid words that they expect me to say

Everclear - Misery Whip

She likes me for me

Not because I look like Tyson Beckford

With the charm of Robert Redford

Oozing out my ears

But what she sees

Are my faults and indecisions

My insecure conditions

And the tears upon the pillow that I shed

Blessid Union of Souls - Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)

You think that love's

What's on that silver screen

Raquel and Redford are the tops

You've been misled

By all those movies you've seen

Al Jarreau - Love Is Real

I'm Redford, you're Newman on the take

You're a 7.6 earthquake

The Donkeys - Don't Know Who We Are

None of those really compare with the greatest ever lyrical reference to Bobby Redford, courtesy of... Lee Majors?!?

I might fall from a tall building

I might roll a brand-new car

'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman

That made Redford such a star

Strangely though, that wasn't the first song which popped into my mind when I heard about the passing of Robert Redford. Although some might argue this is more of a Paul Newman song... still, for me it marks a sunset for Sundance...

Namesakes #155: The Hawks

In case you're wondering if this feature is ever at risk of running dry... I currently have a list of Namesakes that will easily take me up to Christmas 2026. This week though, I went right to the bottom of that list and chose a name that's been in draft form since 2023... 

What took me so long?

THE HAWKS #1

We start with an early 50s super-group from New Orleans combining the talents of Allen "Fats" Matthews with The Humming Four (aka the New Orleans Harmonizing Four). 

The Hawks - Good News

THE HAWKS #2

Next, a nice twangy instrumental from Arizona in 1958, featuring Don Cole on lead guitar...

The Hawks - A Little More Wine, My Dear?

THE HAWKS #3

Some fun doo wop from New York in 1959. My money's on this one being George's favourite... but I've been wrong before.

The Hawks - Lupp!

THE HAWKS #4

Billed originally as Ronnie Hawkins & The Hawks when they started out in the late 50s, this band had a bit of a revolving door policy when it came to membership.  Originally from Arkansas, Hawkins would find more fame after a move to Canada in the late 50s. 

Ronnie Hawkins & The Hawks - Need Your Lovin'

To be continued...

THE HAWKS #5

Eventually, a bunch of Ronnie's backing group (including Rik Danko, Robbie Robertson, Garth Hudson and Levon Helm) went off on their own as Levon & The Hawks. They were then briefly known as Bob Dylan & The Hawks, before changing their name entirely to... The Band.  

Levon & The Hawks - Honky Tonk

THE HAWKS #6

From Malaysia in 1967, supporting lead singer Bakar Hamid... who looks about 12 on the record sleeve. Policemen are getting younger too.

Bakar Hamid & The Hawks - Di-Kau Tetap Ku Kenang

THE HAWKS #7

Obscure roots reggae track from 1975... although Ernie might tell me otherwise.

The Hawks - Nowhere To Hide

THE HAWKS #8

Iowa band whose name was an acronym of its members' surnames: Hearn, Adams, Wiewel, Kaufman, Steen. Rejected by many record companies in the late 70s for being "too ahead of their time", finally given a contract by CBS in '81, but their biggest reached #63 on the Billboard chart. Can't say this sounds particularly ahead of its time for 1981, but... well, it's all right. It's OK. 

To their credit, these guys were the top result for "Hawks" on discogs.

Hawks - It's All Right, It's OK

THE HAWKS #9

From 1981, some British post-punk Hawks who sound like the band were recording in one room and the singer was down the hall in the loo... or maybe they'd made him go outside to play in the rain?

The Hawks - Don't Want To Play In The Rain

THE HAWKS #10

Stephen Duffy has had a pretty interesting career, walking away from Duran Duran before they shot to fame to enjoy solo success as Stephen Tin Tin Duffy in the mid-80s, then going on to form the excellent Lilac Time. In between all that, he also found time to sing lead vocals for Obviously Five Believers, aka The Subterranean Hawks, aka The Hawks. Here's their sole single from 1980. It's only 4 minutes long, but whoever put the track on youtube just left the tape running...

The Hawks - Words Of Hope 

THE HAWKS #11

I never cease to amazed by how many Oi! bands there are in Japan. These Hawks were going Oi! in the mid 90s.

The Hawks - Runaway

HAWKS #12

Noisy punks from Atlanta, Georgia from a decade+ ago. The lead singer clearly needs to suck on a Fisherman's Friend.

Hawks - Snag

HAWKS #13

It's only 24 hours to Tulsa, where you can find this guy, Cody Carson, and he is... 

Hawks - Infinite

THE HAWKS #14

From Montréal and Québec in 2021, some Hawks who own a lot of records from the 80s...

The Hawks - First Thing (That Comes To Mind)

THE HAWKS #15

And finally, a blast of Petty-esque rock from Kentucky, just a few years ago...

The Hawks - Truth Will Out

Which Hawks catch your eye... and which would you rather take a walk?

Snapshots #413: Songs Used In Adverts

Yesterday we had a picture of John Lydon at the top of the page because I thought he was surely the best / worst example of a pop star appearing in an advert. And then I discovered Snoop Dogg in the Money Supermarket ad. And John had some competition.

Here is George's choice of the best "pop" "songs" used in adverts... although George would like to qualify that, "I think the link is best described as “songs related to UK adverts”, as some of the songs were not actually used but were the basis for the advert. For example, “Que Será Será”, because I’m 100% sure Doris Day did not sing about mushrooms and fried onion rings."

Did you ad-entify them all?

15. Bohemian Rhapsodist.

Antonin Dvorak - Symphony no. 9 (Hovis)

14. Unforgettable part in the King's Bible.

A small part of "unforgettable" plus King James...

Etta James - I Just Want To Make Love To You (Diet Coke)

13. Hawaii Jack, boogying pig, football squad.

Jack Lord, some Rocking Ham and 11.

Lord Rockingham’s XI - Hoots Mon (Maynard's Wine Gums)

12. Trowel and mortar specialists.

Call them if you need any pointing done.

The Pointer Sisters - I’m So Excited (Crunchie)

11. Sorry, I can't attend. I have another engagement that night.

Sorry, I have a clash in my diary.

The Clash - Should I Stay Or Should I Go (Levis)

10. Erstwhile Isley Brother.

He started out playing with the Isleys.

Jimi Hendrix Experience - Crosstown Traffic (Wrangler)

9. Wounded stag owner, Reed, circa. 

Jacques and the wounded stag. Lou Reed. Ca.

Jacques Loussier - Air on a G String (Hamlet)

8. Johnsons.

Holly Johnsons.

The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother (Miller Lite)

7. Mediocre amateurs, lost inside.

MedioCRE AMateurs.

Cream - I Feel Free (Renault 21)

6. A div and (his) duds are often mixed up.

David Dundas - Jeans On (Brutus Jeans)

5. You're the tray of nice things I upset yesterday.

That's a line from Gaye by Clifford T. Ward.

Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine (Levis 501)

4. It's Sneers Week! In a way.

Anagram!

New Seekers -  I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing (Coca-Cola)

3. Sweeter alternative to the gravy train.

Honeybus - I Can't Let Maggie Go (Nimble Bread)

2. Denied starting fires between Harry Truman and Red China.

From the opening lyrics to We Didn't Start The Fire...

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray.

Doris Day - Que Será, Será (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)

We hope it's chips, it's chips, we hope it's chips...

1. Confused band, ft. Lelah.

"ft. Lelah" was an anagram for one of George's favourite groups...

The Fall - Touch Sensitive (Vauxhall Corsa)

Thanks again to George for suggesting this week's songs. As someone who worked in advertising for far too many years, I couldn't have done this one myself.

Normal service will be resumed next week.