There's a new Superman film out this weekend... and although I haven't seen it yet, I can confidently predict it will be better than the last few, because Zack Snyder isn't involved. Maybe not quite up to Christopher Reeve's standards, but miracles don't happen that often.
Anyway, here are some Super Songs to celebrate...
15. UN diary reveals they're all a bunch of squares.
I’m thinking back to when I worked in radio. When I moved
into the advertising department, there was a guy already working in there who
everybody liked. We’ll call him Kevin, because… no, I did that joke last week,
didn’t I? He wasn’t called Kevin. But Kevin was the exact opposite of Bob, the
guy everybody agrees is a dick. Kevin was wonderful.
He was so witty and charming and talented and kind… seriously, you’d love him.
The problem was, I didn’t take to Kevin at all. I just
didn’t get what everybody else saw in him. I mean, he wasn’t a Bob-level dick,
but out of everyone in the office, I found him by far the hardest to warm to,
and definitely the least welcoming. He seemed a bit stand-offish, and I
clearly got the impression he thought that he was better than me and that I
didn’t deserve to be working in the same department as him. This was never
overt, and you could well just put it down to my infamous paranoia, but I don’t
think it was purely in my imagination.
Putting aside the (possibly paranoid) idea that Kevin
treated me differently to everyone else he met, why else might I not like
someone everyone else thought was great?
To try to answer this, I waded once more, neck-deep, into
the sewers of the interweb, and the first link to come floating past was this
one from Headspace: What happens
in the brain when we dislike somebody?
Guess where the finger of blame gets pointed almost
immediately?
Yep, it’s our old friend the amygdala. When we decide we don’t
like some, “’there
is preferential activation of the amygdala’,” which means the brain region
associated with fear and aggression flares up. This visceral, emotional
reaction can spark a long-term pattern of dislike when it’s validated by
action: if you perceive that someone has hurt you, your fear of them becomes
rational.”
Essentially, we’re back to the storytelling brain creating
neural pathways in reaction to negative stimuli – it’s why I learned to hate
New Order all over again. But this isn’t really answering my central question –
why I dislike Kevin, when everyone else thinks he’s Superman.
When you instantly dislike someone, you’ve made a snap
decision that they’re threatening based on minimal information.
Ah ha – tell me more!
And they do… with six different
suggestions as to why I disliked Kevin…
1. He’s different.
Humans are wired to like and bond with their own tribe.
This one is the basis for all forms of prejudice, especially
racism. It’s about instinctively not liking anything that looks or appears different to
you. Many of us are able to overcome this in-built reaction because we teach
ourselves (or someone older and wiser has taught us) that it’s bullshit.
Of course, using your conscious mind, you can overcome
this bias. This is why education is so valuable.
That’s what I was trying to say.
Anyway, I can’t really
apply this to Kevin. He wasn’t particularly different from me – we had the same
skin colour, hair colour, similar height and weight… he wasn’t even a particularly
good-looking dude for me to feel inferior to. And he liked or was interested in
many of the same things as me. We were definitely from the same tribe, so there
was no reason to take against him on the surface.
When you get that bad ‘vibe’ from someone without knowing
why, it could be that they reminded you of a previous negative experience.
Again, I’m not sure I can make this fit. I’d encountered a
lot of unpleasant people by this point in my life, but Kevin didn’t really
remind me of any of them. Apart from people I’d met previously who everyone
else seemed to like… hmm. Could that be a clue?
This one’s more about suppressed memories of someone you’ve
met before. Like, say, you meet the school bully twenty years later in a
completely new context and you don’t even recognise him, but your subconscious
mind does, and it’s this which sets your amygdala screaming.
Which is fair enough, but I’d never met Kevin prior to starting
in the department. I’d seen him round the building, but that was about it.
Except…
when I had seen him around, I guess I’d seen him talking and laughing and
getting on with other people… yet he’d never made any attempt to talk to me.
Could it be that he’d taken an instant dislike to me? Did I remind him of
something threatening? Was the problem with Kevin’s brain, not mine? I guess
I’ll never know the answer to that one…
OK, so, this is where it becomes murky. Because I was going
to work in the advertising department with literally no previous experience. I
had recently passed my English degree and was writing on a regular basis – I
could easily evidence creativity, which is what got me the job… but I was new
to the concept of using creativity to sell things. Kevin, on the other hand,
was seen as the star writer in the department. He’d won awards!
Jealousy is often a big reason for disliking someone for
no apparent reason. Jealousy results from upward social comparison. You see
someone who’s better than you or has what you want, and you feel jealous.
That stings. That really stings. But I have to accept it as
a possibility for why I didn’t like Kevin. Although it doesn’t really explain
why he didn’t like me. Unless that was all in my imagination.
Or… prior to going for that job in advertising, I had made a
(small) name for myself in the station on air. (This was prior to the
arrival of my nemesis, the programme controller I referred to as “Tim Allen”
during my
long-running series about my days in commercial radio.) The show I
co-presented featured quite a lot of creative content – comedy sketches and
characters that went down well with the listeners, though I’m sure I’d cringe
myself to death if I heard any of them again today. Anyway, I’d been on air doing
all this “funny” stuff for a few years prior to my move into commercial
production… and chances are Kevin had heard some of that. Maybe he’d formed an
impression of me from that (“he’s just not funny”) or maybe – longshot, I know,
but we need to cover all bases in answering this question – maybe he was a teensy bit jealous of me. Yeah, he’d been winning the awards,
but only for writing ads. He hadn’t been doing the funny stuff just for funny’s
sake. Maybe he was angry I’d had that opportunity and he (being clearly much
more talented) hadn’t. Anything’s possible.
People tend to hide their flaws and ignore the qualities
they need to develop. So, when they come across someone having the same flaws
as them or having the qualities they want, they hide again.
For example:
You lack confidence, and confident people put you off.
Nail, thy head is hitteth, you might well be thinking.
And it’s perfectly feasible that this is the answer: Kevin
was a confident guy and I hated his confidence. Although it’s equally possible
that he was just as insecure as I was, but much better at hiding it and coming
across as confident. Which would link back to my longshot from #4… but this is
all supposition, there’s no science to it at all.
When we meet people, we’re constantly making snap
judgments about them. If they display welcoming and open body language, we feel
good. If they show closed body language, we feel off.
Clearly, this is the case with Kevin – he actively went out
of his way to get on with everybody else in the office, but stayed cool around
me. And that’s still the case to this day when I bump into him in the book of
faces. One of my (friendly) old colleagues will post a photo or a memory from
our past and various people will leave a nostalgic comment… and there’s me and
Kevin in the same (virtual) room all over again, talking to everybody else but
ignoring each other.
We’re quick to put people in the ‘friend’ or ‘foe’
category because, again, the mind doesn’t want to take any chances. It makes
these critical decisions based on minimal information gleaned from body
language, facial expressions, and voice tone.
The ironic thing is, Kevin left soon after I joined the department (was it me?) and went on to a successful career writing for TV comedy shows. Despite many attempts to follow in his footsteps, that never happened for me. Maybe that’s because he was more talented than me… or maybe it’s because he was more confident. It doesn’t really matter in the end: he won. And here I am, thirty years later, still fretting over this, while I doubt he's given me a second thought...
Leonard Cohen is holding a camera in this picture. Oh yes he is. You just can't see it very well. And he's waiting for a miracle...
As we're all waiting for Snapshots #300 next week, this seemed appropriate. You may be interested to know that I have done TWO Top Ten lists of Waiting Songs (compiled while we were waiting for Sam's birth, ten years ago). And none of the songs on those lists feature here. Although Foreigner almost did.
Fortunately, George is back with more I Can't Songs.
Take it away, George...
There’s a LOT of “I Can’t” songs. A lot. You’ve already had ten, some good, some great and two brilliant ones, so here’s ten more, some good, some great, and two of which are simply brilliant, or toptastic if you prefer.
If you want slick 70s (or was it 80s?) pop you’ve come to the wrong place. Well, today you have. So no Hall & Oates, a perfectly decent and well-made pop song, but it’s not Top Ten material. Or Top Twenty, as I’m doing two of these. Nope, instead, you’re getting what is undoubtedly going to be the best song you hear all day, because this is beyond brilliant...
One of those powerful songs that makes you stop whatever you’re doing and just listen. (Not one to play in the car, then). Every time I hear it I can’t do anything but put my listening ears on. From an album you absolutely must have in your collection, Live at Carnegie Hall.
That’s Walter, our pigeon, rescued at the bottom of the farm. He has a wounded wing that will never heal properly; instead of releasing him to be eaten by Billy, we are keeping him. A coop is currently under construction for him. Walter, not Billy. And Walter the pigeon is actually a dove.
That song is not to be confused with the Steve Winwood song, the latter is not an “I can’t” song but a “Can’t” so The Swans will not be in this list. But Otis is!
Another Walter song, that one. "I can’t turn you loose……. because either Shaggy or Billy, or both, will kill you and eat you” as Otis never sang, but it does scan.
A Top Ten without a country song? Is that possible? Of course not.
It would of course be perverse not to include that Ray Charles song, but it is what I am doing, I’ve never liked it or indeed the vast majority of anything I’ve heard by him. And it would certainly be thrawn in the extreme not to include maybe the best known I Can’t song, the one with that uses brackets...
They’re Italian. Unlike Yvonne Elliman. We (Jo and I, not Yvonne and I) were watching something on tv and “Everything’s alright” was featured. I knew most of the lyrics, knew when Judas’ part was coming, knew when Ted Neeley sang. So I’m going to shoehorn this in...
It’s the way the music gets going at 20 seconds in, that signature WIllie Mitchell “Hii Rhythm Section” sound and arrangement, that slow-almost-lethargic music, it’s a perfect soul song.
And please note that Stink, via The Police, is excluded on taste and because it’s “Can’t Stand Losing”. Bad Company, though, are ineligible only because, again, it’s not an “I can’t” song. You could of course argue that Yvonne Elliman should also be excluded, to which I say “Do your own Top Ten”.
Thank you, again, to Rol, for posting this piece. I hope I don’t lose you too many readers.
No, thank you, George. And don't worry: I can't lose what I don't have.
I closed with the original version of George's opening tune. Though I was tempted to go with the Hall & Oates.
The Guest Post door is always open, if anyone wants to try the handle. But don't feel obliged.
Blackpool's Section 25 give us our image this week, a post-punk band who have been in the go since the late 70s and are still going... having recently been sampled by Kanye West, of all people. Here's Looking From A Hilltop.
Before we begin with your suggestions for Number 25, a quick reminder of Ezekiel 25:17, for anyone who doesn't know their Bible verse (as rewritten by Quentin Tarantino).
Oh, and let's get the Christmas songs out of the way too, shall we?
That's always allowed, George. How could I disqualify those sideburns and the ultimate drinking & driving pop song? Although google informs me that the lyrics go like this...
Always got time for the DBTs, Lynchie. Channelling the Stones on that one, I think.
Now here's C to bring all us old farts into the 21st Century...
I must put in a good word for young Liverpool lad Louis Berry and his cracking song 25 Reasons. It's only a couple of years old but has that 60's R'n'B thing going on, with a pinch of Dr Feelgood too. Go for it!
Imagine that. A time when the Bobster wasn't even 25! That has featured here before. So I'm sure I must have done the "If he's sitting on a barbed wire fence, that'll explain why his voice sounds like it does" gag. If not, you can have it for free.
One more from The Swede... even though I'm starting to feel like Jez must have done in the most ridiculous excesses of The Chain (coming back soon, apparently).
Dang! I blame the time zone difference here in Canada, but when I awoke at 6:00 a.m. to get an early bid in for Dukes of Stratosphear's 25 O'Clock and Zager and Evans' In The Year 2525, I found I was a few hours behind Martin. No problem, I think to myself, I'll give it some more thought, and get the rest of my bids in during my lunch hour. Would't you know it, when I go to check at lunch there are fifteen comments now, and Rigid Digit has taken another of my sure-fire guesses in Mandela Day.
So I'll start instead with a couple clever covers. How about They Might Be Giants' cover of The Dukes of Stratosphear's 25 O'Clock? I know TMBGs get a lot of love around here, so let's go with that, for the steal...
That Ian Brown cover is my favourite. But back to Douglas...
Strangely (?), I could find no one who took on a cover of Simple Mind's Mandela Day, let alone offering any kind of hope for "improvement" on the original.
You can't improve on perfection, Douglas. Apparently.
So that leaves me with one original, and not for the first time, I find myself offering from among the oeuvre of one Paul Heaton that deal with his take on aging. How about "Prettiest Eyes" by the Beautiful South, which contain the following seasonally appropriate reference to Christmas:
Let's take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
Not through the age or the failure, children
Not through the hate or despise
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Luckily, I have a few more years before I have to worry about any of that myself.
In the end, while it could have been Zager & Evans... or Chicago... Johnny, Mott or The Beautiful South... this week's winner's trophy actually goes to George.
Yes, George.
Who's have thought it?
But his final suggestion trumped all other contenders...
Tramp by Otis Redding and Carla Thomas. Just before the things with the Cadillacs there's a 25 cent lyric...
That's right, you haven't even got a fat bankroll in your pocket...
You probably haven't even got twenty-five cents
Greatest duet ever recorded? Could be.
I can buy you minks, rats, frogs, squirrels, rabbits, anything you want, woman!
Thank you all for your help. But if you think 25 was a big post... wait till we get to next week! Try not to get too carried away. I might just go with the really obvious one. (Or the really obvious one to me.)
Oh, one final thing. Unless they're amazing suggestions, I'm going to stop allowing lyrical 24s (and so on) as we get nearer number one. Let's face it, there are way too many. So you'll have to be really persuasive if you want to sell me on a lyrical reference from now on. Sorry.
Look, I'm on holiday and I can't think of any Cheryl Cole songs off the top of my head, so you'll have to make up your own puns today. Likewise I have no idea who won this week as I'm writing this on Thursday night. I'm sure whoever got up first did very well indeed. Thank you all for playing... unless nobody did this week, in which case: yah boo sucks.
Brief answers / explanations follow...
10. R.E.M. slows down and shouts like crazy.
REM is Rapid Eye Movement. Slow it down and it becomes SEM... add a shouted bellow.
