Friday 25 November 2022

Self-Loathing Friday #3: I Don't Fit In

I wrote a particularly self-loathing screed the other day about how, even after almost 16 years on the blogosphere, I still don’t feel like I fit in. I scrapped it in the end because such posts always end up sounding like desperate comment-bait, like I’m begging people to say, “Don’t be silly, Rol, your blog is great!” or some such, which really wasn’t the point of writing it. 

When you’re a teenager, not fitting in is just part of life. High school movies always teach us that the kids who do fit in (the cheerleaders, the jocks) are actually evil and will go on to become either high-flying scumbags or faded losers. See Biff Tannen in the Back To The Future movies – he becomes both. The cool kids, the ones with real potential to make a positive difference and change the world, they’re the outcasts, the freaks and the geeks. I wonder if that’s because the majority of high school movies are written by one-time social lepers who have since blossomed into successful butterflies, albeit butterflies with baggage: chips on shoulders, ghosts to exorcise, point to prove.

But what about when you’re 50 and you still feel like you don’t fit in? Some caterpillars go past the point of metamorphosis and just have to learn to live with being caterpillars.

Gee, if this is the post I wrote instead of the one I scrapped, just imagine what a pity party that one was!

Paul Collins recently featured in Namesakes where his band The Beat was roundly trounced by the bathroom vanity guys. No wonder he feels like he doesn’t fit in…

It doesn’t matter what town I’m in
I’m always on the outside, lookin’ in
Oh what, someday everything’s gonna change?
Well, I wanna know when

 




20 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Me too. But my invitation often gets lost.

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    2. That's too good, Rol. Big smile. More from the Beat too! Woo!

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  2. Great post and song - from a fellow caterpillar.

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  3. “Don’t be silly, Rol, your blog is great!”. No, really, it is.

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  4. I meant it sincerely but will now shut up.

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    Replies
    1. I know. And just appreciate it. I was trying to lighten the mood. Smiley face.

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    2. Apologies. No offence meant.

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  5. Can I just say (totally un-originally): Don’t be silly, Rol, your blog is great!
    In my limited experience, it's the Cool Kids who are the one-trick ponies, and the freaks geeks and nerds will inherit the earth

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  6. Whenever I feel that I/my blog are bordering on ‘popular’, I post some disco tunes for a reality check and watch that tumble weed whistle on by. It’s a sobering reminder that not everyone lives in a world where Trent Reznor, Donna Summer, Bob Dylan and Lyra Pramuk peacefully co-exist. More power to you, Rol, I always look forward to your blog even if I’m beyond hopeless at the Saturday Snapshots!

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  7. Looking at much of the world (from a dot in England), I’m glad to not always fit in.

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  8. You fit in here like a foot in a well worn but well loved slipper.

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  9. Fitting in is well overrated. And as they all say your blog is great. Just write what you wanna write and be what you wanna be. Sorry if that sounds like an inspirational slogan from a Tesco t shirt.

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  10. Thank you all, my heart is truly warmed. I might give Self Loathing Friday a rest for a while though as I has a vision of it being one of those posts that allowed me to rant without attracting too much attention. Feels like I overdid this one I blame Paul Collins.

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  11. Despite being a frequent visitor to your blog, I seem to be late to this one, but from the moment I discovered this wonderful place, I’ve been so impressed by your writing, your wit & intelligence, and of course your encyclopaedic knowledge of music & film. The great thing about blogging is that we don’t need to fit in, we just share whatever we want and can enjoy any feedback that comes our way. This is a really kind little area of the internet so we are blessed.

    Love you like a little brother - keep on doing what you’re doing and enjoy it.

    Alyson

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    1. Thank you, Alyson, I'm blushing. But I do feel I wrote this post badly as my my intention was not to generate such a response, appreciated though it might be.

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    2. I think we all know you didn't but just enjoy the lovely responses - shows what a caring bunch we are.

      I've often thought that any of us who have this hobby are off-centre on 'the spectrum', or rather unique, with a very special set of skills! I don't tell my real-life friends about my blog as they just wouldn't get it.

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