Today I'm going to stick to the rules of this new feature - just one song.
Another excuse to play a track from the Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage, and his mates in LYR. Simon's greatest achievement in poetry is the way he effortlessly weaves the Northern vernacular into his work - like I keep telling the kids, it's poetry that doesn't sound like it was written by the Oxbridge elite, yet it's just as (if not even more) affecting.
Here Simon imagines himself (remembers?) being a young man stranded in a Barnsley nightclub, hoping he might meet a girl. But he was never any good at "hook a duck".
I've no idea why a lad from Marsden would spend his nights out in Barnsley... unless he was too embarrassed to go on the pull in Huddersfield.
I figured there wouldn't be a shortage of songs that mentioned the world-famous, Bradford-born artist... and I wasn't wrong. There's even a song that beat Sting to the punch...
You'd think that being Poet Laureate would keep Simon Armitage busy enough, but evidently not - I'm finding it hard keeping up with his musical career with Patrick James Pearson and Richard Walters as the band LYR. When I heard they had a new album out in April, I headed over to their bandcamp page... only to discover I'd completely missed an earlier offering, An Unnatural History, which must have followed hot on the heels of the last record I bought from them, 2023's Ultraviolet Age.
I'm slowly embracing the charms of An Unnatural History, but I've been particularly taken by a three-part song structure (or whatever you want to call it) that's dotted throughout the collection. It's called Theodolite... and it involves Armitage wandering round a run-down town centre (which I'm convinced, because he's a local lad, and because I recognise some of the places he mentions) must be Huddersfield. Although there's an Eldon Street in Sheffield, and one in Barnsley too, so it could be anywhere round here.
Of course, there's more to it than that, because he's a poet, and so what sounds like is actually a commentary on modern urban life... but beyond that, I'll leave you to make up your own minds.
And yes, I had to google what a "Theodolite" was. And it made perfect sense when I did.
23 words describing each of my Top Ten albums of 2023. Because I use far too many words the rest of the year...
10. Whitehorse - I'm Not Crying, You're Crying
Husband and wife Luke Doucet and Melissa McClelland join forces for their 8th album, venturing further into Canadian Americana territory than ever before.
I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report.
Well, they looked me up and down then their eyes went to the ground
They burst out laughing and they showed me the door
Said, "We ain't never seen nobody so lost before."
Poet Laureate Simon Armitage's latest band might come with the subtitle "For English Teachers Only"... but they deserve wider recognition. Poetry in emotion.
A slow-burner, with only one track representing his piano-stomping past; otherwise this is a reflective post-fame record to be relished by middle-aged musos.
Just another great Jason Isbell record. The quality never dips. If Laura is the First Lady of Americana, this guy is the President...
Are you looking for something easy?
Do you need to feel alive?
Do you crave a love that tears through your life like a Category Five?
My momma spent every day alone
In a house of noise and names
She got so tired of putting out fires
She just laid down in the flames
We're running out of options
I've told you all my jokes
If you insist on being lonely
Can you leave a couple smokes?
2. BC Camplight - The Last Rotation Of The Earth
Supposedly his final record (let’s hope not!), this sees Brian waiting for the Tesco man and dreading the future. Brutally honest and life-affirming.
"Oh, what a bеautiful morning"
I say to the Tesco guy
"I've seen my fair sharе
But there's something about this one"
He goes, "Are you okay?"
I look him in the eye
We both smile
1. Jenny Lewis - Joy'all
Wry melancholia, world-weary romance, exuberant self-sufficiency... it’s another flawless set from the former Rilo Kiley chanteuse - like the Carpenters but more kick-ass!
My forties are kicking my ass
And handing 'em to me in a margarita glass
I was infatuated with an older man
And then I dated a psychopath
So I'm 44 in 2020 and thank God I saved up some money
Local lad and restraining order waiting to happen (such is my obsession) Simon Armitage became the Poet Laureate late last year. In between writing poems for the Queen and the Sunday papers, he somehow found time to record a new record. Not with his former band, The Scaremongers, but with a new collective called LYR. (Apparently it stands for Land Yacht Regatta, so nothing to do with lyrics at all. That'll teach me to try to second-guess the Poet Laureate.)
An addictive set of story poems set to musical backing, full of northern humour and incisive lyrical detail, they've been a firm favourite at Top Ten Towers these past few months.
Is it just me who sees a band photo like the one above and now immediately thinks "you're not stood far enough apart?" What has the world come to?
You may recognise the gentleman on the right as our current Poet Laureate, and native to these parts. Simon Armitage. Oh god, you're probably screaming, Rol's going to bang on about how Simon Armitage comes from the same village as his dad again, and how he now lives less than a couple of miles down the road from him again, and how he's spent the last 20-odd years secretly stalking him without ever actually meeting him. Again.
Some friends of Louise's were out walking on the canal the other day, and who did they bump into? Lovely man. Had a nice chat, they did.
Grr.
(If that doesn't get your goat as much as mine, consider this: Another friend of Louise's, who lives in Brighton, regularly bumps into Nick Cave. They're on a smile and a howyadoing acquaintance now.)
And don't even start me on Guy Garvey on 6Music. Every week, it's "here's my best mate Simon Armitage..."
My life in a nutshell. Standing outside the party and wondering why I didn't get the invitation.
Anyway, I have written many times before about my admiration of Mr. Armitage, both as a poet and a part-time pop star. I saw his last band, The Scaremongers, live at Hebden Bridge Trades Club, you know, many years ago. So I suppose I have at least been in the same room as him once. Before the restraining order.
His latest musical offering is LYR, alongside musician Richard Walters and multi-instrumentalist Patrick Pearson. I'm guessing the name is something to do with lyrics. Armitage's mournful northern tones are given haunting and evocative backing that's quite some distance from the indie shambles of the Scaremongers... but lovely nevertheless.
But you're most likely to have heard the lead single from their album Call In The Crash Team, Never Good With Horses, which received a smattering of airplay.
This, though... this is my favourite thing from them so far. A live isolation recording of that single, shorn of fancy production, but still achingly beautiful...
There really was only one Adam who could illustrate the Top Ten Adam Songs that you have helped me compile over the last week. Jim in Dubai was surprised by how many Adam Ant songs he had in his collection... but there's no such thing as too many Adam Ant songs, surely? And I know this is after he lost his Ants, but I still don't think it gets better than this...
There were, of course, other Adams in contention, including Adam Faith, Adam Green, a couple of Beastie Boys and Adam's House Cat... though I'm afraid to say that surnames are not allowed (those darned rules!) so no room for Bryan or Ryan, Tony or Rick... and definitely no room for Adamski, sorry to John Medd. I'm afraid Killer still gives me nightmares, John, and you did no favours by suggesting it was a "banger" since that term should only be used for sausages and fireworks. At least you didn't say it "dropped" in 1990... that really would have got you a three post suspension.
However, the idea of this series is that I collate ten tunes which have Adam in the title or the lyrics... from your suggestions, and my own. Nobody actually suggested any lyrical Adams this time, though you could have had...
...which is a top tune, but (under the rules) would only fit into the Top Ten Tony Songs... which I've already done. Although maybe it's time for a second volume?
You know I love old musicals and in Call Me Madam one of Irving Berlin’s songs is Mrs Sally Adams. All about a wealthy widow turned socialite. It won’t be in your Top Ten and probably breaks a rule with the extra ‘s’ but enjoyed watching the clip from the film with a young Donald O’Connor and Ethel Merman in fine fettle (she reminded me of Rizzo from Grease).
A brand new one next, from my old local pal The Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage, and his new band LYR. I will feature their new album again soon, because it's a belter.
I appear to have a song called The Adam Faith Experience by Jesse Garron & the Desperadoes from the Big Gold Dreams boxset, says Charity Chic. And Brian had it too. Now I want it!
Jim in Dubai kicked us off with this one, which he explains thus:
A great song by Momus from his album where people paid money to him to have a song written about them to help him pay some legal bills I believe, this one obviously came from a Mr Adam Green.
I did wonder if the Adam Green in question was George's favourite Adam Green (from The Moldy Peaches)...
There will be plenty of people who tell you that Weezer haven't been any good since (insert early Weezer album here, probably Pinkerton). To those people, I ask them again to listen to this.
God took a rib from Adam
Ground it up in a centrifuge machine
Mixed it with cardamon and cloves
Microwaved it on the popcorn setting
While Adam was like, "Ooh ooh! That really hurts!”
Going off into the tundra
So pissed at God
And he started lighting minor forest fires, stealing osprey eggs
Adam & Eve crop up in lots of songs because they were the first lovers... and it didn't end too well, did it? Still, they did inspire Billy to write one of his very best love songs.
Walking in the park, kissing on the carpet
And your tights around your ankles
Late at night a lover thinks of these things
Adam and Eve are finding out all about love
Teresa and Steve are finding out all about love
1. Bruce Springsteen - Adam Raised A Cain
As was traditional on the Hot 100, The Swede was first in... and he hit the nail on the head with his first guess. No surprises, really. I'll try to be less predictable in future weeks...
I know George doesn't like Bruce, but maybe I can tempt him with this Biblical epic...?
(Probably not.)
Thank you for your participation. I thought it might take a couple of weeks to get this feature going, but most of you stepped up to the challenge immediately.
They won't all be as easy as Adam though. Take next week... we're sticking with the letter A, and a name that's close to all our hearts. The only snag? One song will dominate our thinking. It's the obvious Number One, but can we find another nine to back it up? That is your challenge. Remember, lyrical references are allowed... but no surnames.
NEXT WEEK: OUR TOP TEN ALISON
(OR ALLISON & ALYSON*! Alternate spellings are allowed.)
SONGS
(I'll even allow abbreviations such as Allie... though this won't always be the case.)
(*Although Alyson may consider this the only true spelling?)
Get your thinking caps on... and join me back here next Tuesday.
